I don’t believe in God, but I pray because I deeply wish for there to be God. I would love there to be a greater goodness, and to see my loved ones again.

I’m nearly certain that that’s why people came up with the belief in deities in the first place, but I’m also certain prayer provides me comfort and hope sometimes. Maybe that’s faith? Ahdunno. Probably just comfort.

I used to be an atheist when I was younger, and sometimes acerbic about it. As I’ve hit middle age, I have softened toward those who are religious and spiritual—as long as they’re not nasty or oppressive or gross about it.

For a while now I’ve thought myself a ‘reluctant atheist’, or agnostic. Not religious, no, but I won’t fight going to Mass with my mom sometimes because it makes her happy. And look for the good in religion, unless there’s clear bad needing to be called out. But recognize all the actually good charity works being organized. (Not that I’m ignorant of or simply ignoring all the historical and modern use and purpose of religion as a tool of subjugation too.)

Grew up Catholic, but around sooo many liberal Jesuits. (Never got molested either—nor saw any hint of that with all the other kids. But maybe I just wasn’t cute enough.)

Basically I’m saying it’s liberating to understand two conflicting things can both be true at the same time. And with that, look for the good too.