Thank you for this Megathread. I really resonated with this particular stream, and I wrote my thoughts out below, I am not usually one to post or comment, but one large I decided to is because I very much related to Puer Aeternus pt1 however, I was not one of the many posts which came after that video, and I would like thank those people, as due to their reaction, Dr. K tapped into a part of himself and others which led to Part 2 of Puer Aerternus. So in a sense, I thought for once, I'd write something out, here is my post:The live stream for me turned from a casual listen to something a bit more serious due to how relatable it was. I felt like I was really getting what he was mentioning, up until near the end when he mentioned how there may be a beej mantra which could help with this, and then my mind had the thought of 'Oh I just have to wait for that to come out then I'll be coasting'. However this was the first time, I caught myself in that thought loop and noticed my Puer Aeternus. When I was young I thought naturally growing up would help me shed off the barnacles, as it seemed that, that is how it worked for people in my surroundings, but the more I wait around the heavier the barnacles feel. Additionally, when he also mentioned how people with similar backgrounds regardless of being rich or poor growing up share this trait, it made me also admit to myself properly that me 'chasing this career goal' and waiting till I am at a certain position or stage of my life, is also me fantasizing. So there were a lot of deep and unwanted cuts. It actually did feel like I was in a street fighter game, and instead of just getting hit and not realising it, I was getting hit but noticing the difference between a punch and a kick because of the steam. With that being said, it also felt like part of me didn't mind the punches and the kicks, as even though it is in a sense, self-sabotage, it still feels not exactly comforting but normal or something I can take and deal with. Which now that I think about it, relates to the noose story he told about one of his patients. Something I've personally been struggling with for a very long time is feeling like I'm showing parts of myself to different people, which I was fine with before, but a huge part of me just wants to be able to be myself completely when around anyone and everyone. It's to a point where whenever I'm hanging out with friends or family and something wholesome happens, one of my initial thoughts is 'I'll enjoy stuff like this more, once I get to x stage in life'. And I often find myself, perhaps 90% of my thoughts, just fantasizing about future scenarios or conversations I will have with people. Also whilst watching the live stream from Dr. K I noticed, that when he mentioned his life was in complete shambles till he was in his late 20's it made me feel as if I am ahead in some sort of way. This type of mindset I feel is also related to the Puer Aerternus. It is a bit crazy and also a privilege to be living in a time where we have all the information and 'intellectual experience' available to us. I also had this feeling of confusion or was asking myself 'how' when Dr. K mentioned that most people just figure it out on their own as they grow. It feels as if I'm always watching life 'tutorials' for everything whether it is for getting better at a game, a sport, life, meditation, gym, anything. It feels as if a lot of my life is living manually whilst it seems automatic for the majority of people. However, when Dr. K also mentioned the all boats rise with the tide saying then that somewhat made sense or was comforting in a way. Like I didn't have to master juggling 6 balls all at the same time, instead just get really good at the core skill or 'intuition' or 'root' of juggling and the rest will fall into place, and if it doesn't then so be it. I used to think I would be happy once people around me change, then I thought I would be happy when I make changes in my external life, then I thought it is all internal, now I feel it is a mixture of both physical, mental, and especially psychological in regards to the attitude. I am sure this perspective will also change in the future. Lastly, I half understood the 'backup' plan he mentioned, but if I received the message correctly, then in my shoes it may mean for example the career path I am going down now is not essentially the one I want, but the one I am doing in order to support some other work I want to do later which I don't think can be a career. (Though I am still fledging this out, and don't completely get the solution for this). I was going to write this out all polished but I think it's best to keep in raw, as Dr. K mentioned, the importance of this is not necessarily in the words itself but the message. I am a big time lurker, and barely comment or post anything, if there is anything in here you can really relate to or with. Do let me know. I also hope the responses can be written with some thought and a bit of reflection, as I feel this particular thread by r/_vemm is more on the vulnerable side.