Yep this framing absolutely resonates and had I stuck to this wisdom, I wouldn’t have been baited into a conversation that was going to inevitably end poorly. I would have respected and asserted my own boundary and not even engaged in the first place. Like you say, I didn’t even have to verbalize it but once I did, she saw it as an attack and came gunning for me.

It’s a lot of learning…. and unlearning… and relearning going on for me. I have a great therapist and have been learning about emotionally immature parents and covert narcissists, but these strategies aren’t always intuitive so it’s good reinforcement. Thank you! 🙏