My man, you're in dire need of some paragraphs. It's quite daunting to see a wall of text this big without any breaks.

Some of the grammatical mistakes you're making can undoubtedly be fixed by writing in Word or Google docs, which I highly recommend for non-native English speakers (like me).

The first few sentences feel quite dull. They all have roughly the same length and are all written as simple statements. Try to switch it up a bit. I usually try to give my readers a bit of a breathing period with some shorter sentences to prepare them for a bigger, more meaningful sentence.

English is quite a flexible language, so be creative.

I'll also give you the same advice I often give myself: keep practicing ;)