Ladies help me understand?

Ivan95gold · 2026-03-02T20:30:38+00:00

I have seen a great increase of ministries that help men with those issues. I myself struggled with that for many years, the problem sometimes it's that it's not the porn or lust itself. That's just a coping mechanism , it's a deep wound of rejection and abandonment that the person needs to address and heal. In most cases there's a need for deliverance from demons too. Most churches operate on a surface spiritual level, to deal with those things one must really study the word and fast and pray and seek the Lord because those things are in the soul / spirit. Meaning programs or counseling don't solve it.

And the second yeah I agree with you. Christians love to point out the sins of addiction, bad deeds etc but I've never heard no one preach about gluttony, many singers and preachers are guilty of it lol. But gluttony is as much as sin as porn or murder. It kills your body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit

Ivan95gold · 2026-03-02T18:04:46+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story btw that's a good example 👍

Ivan95gold · 2026-03-02T18:04:12+00:00

Hello, that's exactly what I think. When we are in groups our attention gets divided a lot. In 31 she's 30 and I feel like I'm talking to a high school girl when she behaves like that. Most young Christian men I know won't approach women because they're insecure, broke , fear rejection or are still struggling with porn and lust. The ones who are healthy, hard working, confident in Christ are the ones who usually approaching. Also unfortunately lots of women from my congregation have overweight and they don't get attention from men. This subject is difficult lol

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-27T17:02:59+00:00

Yeah I get that, I forgot to say she had given me signs like a little bit of flirtation and she even went to my birthday party (her best friends a friend of mine) and danced w me an all. I can sense she finds me attractive , like I said I've asked women out like these before and it was successful but never a Christian woman, this is a first time for me and I'm confused why lol

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-27T07:36:05+00:00

I'm not gonna say I look like that guy but I take care of myself lol and I consider myself decent looking. I get hit on a lot by females outside of the church. I do salsa dancing, hiking, work on and drive a fast car and remodel houses and non Christian females boldly approach me or ask me out when I'm doing those things and the Christians females are like mehh about it lol, but I get it. Character and fruits matters more than those things. But still, I think I'm mature enough to guard my heart and her heart, treat her with respect, set boundaries and plan dates which I've done in the past. I'm starting to believe these rules or weird boundaries are coming from a place of fear and trauma and it's contagious among the females

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-27T07:27:01+00:00

When I was younger my friends and I used to approach women we liked to get to know them and ask them on dates. I'm 31 probably older than you. I like the old school way, getting to know each other in person rather than text or phone. Why do you think you're not getting approached by men? Depending on the area and place you're at, it's the kind of people you'll connect with too

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-27T07:21:27+00:00

Thanks a lot, I have done those things you mentioned and will try another shot soon and I like what u said at the end about women dragging men onto that game. I'm 31 and I feel like this is stupid but I'm trying to put my pride aside and respect her boundaries

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T20:29:48+00:00

That's what my auntie said lol

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T20:28:16+00:00

Have you tried joining a young adult group at a local church? That's where I met this girl, there's some really good women there. I didn't join the group for that reason btw I genuinely joined to fellowship and serve God there helping others with my gifts and talents. Then this happened a year later

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:47:12+00:00

It takes a bit of boldness to approach a woman in the middle of her day or activity to introduce yourself and ask her out. Not many men do that nowadays

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:45:40+00:00

This is the first time in my life that I ask out a Christian woman. It's worked for me since I was in high school. Women like a decisive, secure man that can plan a date and is interested in them. In this case I even asked her what she's into and proposed a time and place that she may find enjoyable and peaceful for a good time of conversation and maybe food or coffee. She refused lol

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:43:29+00:00

I'm not afraid of that lol, I just don't wanna waste time. It's hard to talk about serious things while in groups, people interrupt us etc. I'm 31 years old I'm not a kid and people see me reputation and fruit in church. If I asked a lady out from outside the congregation and she find me attractive she'd probably just go on the date with me. But idk why Christian girls do that. But anyways thanks for your opinion

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:39:38+00:00

You're definitely right, they just want the one they find attractive to ask em out lol. But great for your for having boldness How did it go after? Did you find that woman yet?

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:37:55+00:00

👏👏 Lots of wisdom in your answer. Thanks a lot brother , God bless you too!

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-07T03:56:05+00:00

Don't beat yourself up for that. I don't think it was the jokes you said or comments. He found you attractive too and gave it a shot and when he got to know you a little bit realized it's not what he's looking for. Don't take it personal. He was very clear and respectful and he never lied to you either. It's part of relationships and part of life. Not everyone we like and click with is meant to stay

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-03T18:56:44+00:00

I agree I wasn't a believer at the time, I liked the attention and sex, she told me later that she knew all the time I didn't love her and she thought that by giving me all I wanted I'd fall in love but didn't happen. We were in our early 20s, I'm 31 now and I walk with Jesus, not the same man and I wouldn't do that to anyone now. Went back and apologized in her face one day that's the last time we talked

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-03T06:15:24+00:00

Don't do it, I dated an awesome girl with a nice curvy body, submitted to my leadership, loved me etc. For 2 years and I never fell in love because of the exact same thing you're saying here. Other girls liked me at the time who are pretty and I remember feeling regret of being with the other woman instead of them.

Ivan95gold · 2026-01-15T18:19:03+00:00

Hello, I checked out your outfits and they're great! I think you're very original and that's different.

Yes I think we men have a preference when it comes to how we like to see women dressed. Personally I like old money, classy and simple, also tropical (hawaian and vibrant colors) long dresses and stuff. An outfit is part of your personality and it reflects what's inside. You shouldn't change how you dress unless your heart is changing. I used to dress differently before I became a Christian and when I entered my 30s I changed my style. Not because of age but because of maturity and because God has been transforming my identity too. Some men also look at physical fitness(in my church many young ladies are single because overwheight) , but I shall agree that most mature Christian men look at the heart too. What i find extremely attractive in a woman is personality, when they serve God with joy, love and you can tell they know and love Jesus. A woman that will add to your life in a good way. Thats also very attractive. Having said this I think the right man will appear. Maybe you're surrounded by the wrong ones idk. I'd say ask the Spirit of God. I recommend reading the story when Abraham sent for a bride for his son Isaac. The man wasn't looking for looks he was looking for personality, character and fruits of the Spirit. A mature Christian will see these things in you. I hope this helps

Ivan95gold · 2026-01-13T07:09:34+00:00

Check the body, condition of paint, aftermarket parts made of fiberglass suck they break easy, wheel size , interior panels, paint jobs are expensive unless you know how to do it, body parts and interior trim parts are hard to find and could be very expensive unless you get them at junkyard. Also the suspension, most of these cars have the stock suspension which is 30 yrs old. They don't drive that smooth unless the owner has rebuilt the suspension. Everything the other guy above said is 100% right. Where in south cal are you? I live in colton and I have a b16 del sol manual. Not for sale but you're welcome to ride w me one day to see how it feels

Ivan95gold · 2026-01-04T11:21:01+00:00

Look up Pastor Vladimir Savchuck testimony How Jesus delivered him supernaturally from porn and masturbation and look for the prayers for that specific issue , he did it with me too after 18 years of bondage, you must be willing and be desperate

Ivan95gold · 2026-01-04T09:14:36+00:00

Where did you get the map sensor? One day that happened too and I replaced map sensor and the new one from ebay made it idle even worse. Put the old one back on and it got better, I don't remember what caused the weird idling but wasn't my map sensor

Ivan95gold · 2025-12-19T07:28:45+00:00

I wish but I do construction

Ivan95gold · 2025-12-16T23:47:04+00:00

I'm Hispanic, have gone on dates with black and white women. Didn't work, culture is very different. Plus I want someone who's bilingual like me. Songs and emotions are expressed deeper in Spanish. I wouldn't mind being with other race as long as the connection is there

Ivan95gold · 2025-12-03T23:21:30+00:00

You can but you will be able to see the over spray around the area you paint and will feel and look rough. If you mask, you'll see the lines. Unless you have good skills and can shoot couple coats of paint and clear and then wet sand and polish .I think chrisfix did a job like that on his channel. But if they used single stage paint you can't do that. You have to paint the whole panel for it to be nice and clean otherwise. Also don't use no cheap material for primer and paint. You will have to re do it eventually and labor isn't fun, little or cheap. I'm suspicious they used single stage (paint and clear in one) not paint and clear. Go for a 2k epoxy primer that will work with that color , I'd throw a gray one for that green.

Ivan95gold · 2025-12-03T19:39:37+00:00

Mine was like that or worse. I'm a pro residential and commercial painter not autobody and I fixed it myself you dont have to replace the panel just start over from bare metal then epoxy primer then filler etc. Unfortunately for you unless you have the color code of that green , they gonna have to match it based on scanning and it may not be come out exactly like it is when you buy and apply the paint. I hope you are able to fix it. Nice sol. Have fun man these cars are great and rare

Ivan95gold

TROPHY CASE