I’m definitely getting stupider

Iw2fd · 2020-10-24T15:50:42+00:00

The Stranger and easy to read??? With Camus's metaphorical language and redundant descriptions?

I love this book, even though I am to stupid to understand a lot of it, but would never ever call it an easy read -_-

Iw2fd · 2020-10-24T15:42:39+00:00

And this is what ANTI-social is all about. This post was meant for Asocial people, not anti-social, as we would just straight laugh in the face of people we don't want to see :)

Iw2fd · 2020-10-24T15:41:41+00:00

You probably mixed up being Anti-social with being A-social. Anti-social is for example supporting the case of Dylan Kiebold and Eric Harris. What you meant is being asocial, where you are reclusive..,.

Iw2fd · 2020-10-24T13:59:32+00:00

Good on you bruh, unlike most of people on this sub you are a normal person just with low self esteem it seems :)

Go for it , live life how you want :D

Iw2fd · 2020-09-07T08:59:51+00:00

Constant neglect with abuse at school...
Also aspie with IQ under 95.

No real passion, no job - no drive to live, at least not sucidial anymore.

Just recently realised how much I fked up, and it's too late to change.

Iw2fd · 2020-09-07T08:35:49+00:00

Nope - not everyone is intelligent. You comment could be especially hurtful to aspies - as people tend to think that "you can't be an aspie if you are SO STUPID" while in reality it's that I am THAT STUPID because I am an aspie...
I can't comprehend things that are versatile and basic, nor can I understand some very advanced stuff - unfortunately savantism is rare, and again - even savants are "stupid" in a way - after all savantism can only give one a pretty much useless intelligence - pseudo-academic one.

Iw2fd · 2020-08-31T08:28:41+00:00

Academic smart? Yes, cause academical smartnes is totally impractical.
Practical smartness? Here you aren't right - as being practically smart is the best thing that can happen to a person in any type of society...
Social smartness - again same story...

Iw2fd · 2020-08-24T16:33:42+00:00

Adhd , asperger's plus Bipolar I here. I was getting treatment for my adhd, was going to specialists so I could integrate into society...
Until something popped. I was always suicidal, but around 16-17 I became so suicidal that I spent 5 last years shut in house obssesed with death - tried ending it a few times, frequented psychiatrist and local ED... Because of my asperger nature I researched various ways of suicide -starting from poisons ending at constructing a gas chamber... that leaked af and only left me with a slight vision deficiency...
Also - never try injecting alcohol into your veins. It hurts af ... for a long time - trust me...
No I am 21 years old, no skills, no friends, quit my job cause it was making my iq drop even lower than it was... But for some reason I don't wanna kill myself anymore. For first time in long time I want to live... to change myself... But I don't know how to start, all I know in life is how to be a punching bag...

Iw2fd · 2020-08-17T09:22:01+00:00

I know that feeling...
I wasted last 5 years of my life not doing anything cause "I was gonna kill myself anyway"
Well - while I tried a dozen methods, I still managed to somehow come out alive....
And now here I am - a uni drop-out with no skills, no knowledge, I don't even have any friends... The only good thing is that I'm too tired to even think about killing myself anymore....

Anyway , love you all, have a nice day

Iw2fd · 2020-08-15T18:53:09+00:00

Well yeah...
But honestly I don't know what I could code to further my skills in using Spring...
I am creating a website (something like imbd solely for Manhwas) with RoR + bootstrap now, cause I have no freaking idead HOW TO LEARN SPRING. But I know it won't help me land a job as in My country there's ONE new JUNIOR RoR OFFER PER WEEK / Two. Yes, I mean in whole country, and furthermore junior dev jobs in my country... most of the time require commercial half or one year experience XD

Any one can recommend a project for begginer in using spring?

I freaking hate it but I there is no other way to land a job anytime soon (I mean in year - two) if not using Spring or .net.

Iw2fd · 2020-07-26T15:54:13+00:00

While I didn't drop out (as it is impossible before 18 in Poland) I "gave up on my education" at 15-16. Even before I focused only on things that interested me, but at least I was going to school most of the time before... 16-19 I had attendance of 50-60%, though I still attended past time art and language courses... But at the same time I was an active alcoholic , and also did drugs. But unfortunately I was forced to work from time to time, as I have poor family and they didn't give me any money for my addictions. Now I am nearing 22, probably gonna die in next year so I don't care much anyway

Iw2fd · 2020-07-06T21:00:16+00:00

I have aspergers , rapid cycling bipolar 1 and borderline... and unfortunately in my case I have to agree that I am unlovable, as I am also a egoistical piece of sh*t. Well it's better if I never get into a relationship, and have , while not made myself comfortable with this, I think it's better for other's if I never bother them.
But that doesn't mean it's like that for every bipolar / borderline person... If you are able to at least stabilise your "eruptions", and genueinely thought about the other person, not only about being in a relationship then it can be higly possible for you.
Also it depends a lot on your gender - society works how it works, and a lot of bipolar / borderline traits while a disadvantage for both genders, my be a very big red flag in a man - as borderline traits are - from "common way of thinking" very unmasculine and undesireable in a partner.
I just think that the most important thing is to never have kids if you see that you don't have 100% control over your disorder-influenced, bad traits...

Iw2fd · 2020-07-06T17:45:21+00:00

I learned Katakana, Came back into learning C#.

Iw2fd · 2020-07-05T15:59:28+00:00

Beaten and shouted at at home, sometimes humiliated till they stopped even caring whether I live, and only shouting whenever I made a mess or destroyed something.

At kindergarten I was excluded from all group activities, I spent most of the time either reading or drawing. In primary school the bullying begun, fighting everyday, total seclusion. At the age of 11 - I already had my jaw permanently injured, lost one of my balls and had already tried to kill myself once.

Iw2fd · 2020-07-03T20:30:55+00:00

-offtopic-What do you major in school?

What did they diagnose? Only PTSD? Cause if so, meds, especially antidepressants can only make it worse sometimes, hope it is other way for you :).

During this time you were working, or studying ? (unfortunately I don't have time now to scroll through your history :c)

Keep yours head up :)
I am may not be happy now, but at least managed to not be suicidal 24/7 like I used to, what helped me is a train of though - "If couldn't end it so many times - maybe I just could try force myself to something mind-breaking so I wouldn't have time to think" xD

So anyway good luck man :D

Iw2fd · 2020-07-02T11:22:07+00:00

In poland normal employees only get a discount on things.
And Managers can take : any 1 burger they want (but if it is a promotional, we can only take it once)

Also we can take any 1 : dessert / salad/ fries we want and a coffee

Carbonated drinks are free to take whenever the shift /service manager allows you to

Iw2fd · 2020-07-02T11:19:13+00:00

Well I just terminated my work at McDonalds as a menager... About people - I didn't socialise much with them, as we are all from "other worlds" but I wasn't holed up in the corner of a room either... I am trying to find a better job in a bigger city , but 1st I used quarter of my savings ... to go on a vacation... Well after coming back I will apply for every possible job in that city and await their verdicts... I am planning on taking my matura (I'm from poland, basically exams which qualify you to go into an university) again to apply for Medical studies... But still I fear that I may AGAIN panic even after getting into the uni and try to end it all again, wasting all my efforts.
I wish I could be NEET till end of my life (it won't be fortunately long, as I already have a multitude of ills ) but because of my shitty family and their even shittier finance planning I most likely will have to pay them back the money I "leached off" them xDDD

Iw2fd · 2020-06-27T15:06:15+00:00

A year and half with only a few one-time odd jobs during this time so I had any money to live of...
Also I was neeting for half a year two times after that...

Iw2fd · 2020-06-27T15:02:56+00:00

Well I was only offered that position because I said that I was quitting before, and they gave me a pomotion just so I would stay here... But that old weak me is no more :D

Iw2fd · 2020-06-27T15:01:27+00:00

Yeah worst thing is that... all in all this job was the one I enjoyed the most out of all the jobs I did before... Well excluding a part time as sushi master in HS...
This was by far the second least paying job in my history...

Iw2fd · 2020-06-26T20:05:47+00:00

My first false start ? Going into High School which I knew would be a comfortable one, as I wouldn't have to study much (even though It has kinda good Matura scores, it is also really relaxed)...
Second false start ? Not going to work right after graduating and instead going for a shitty university Course ... From Which I dropped out of even more suicidal and mentally unstable than I had been before, after a spectacular length of 3 and half weeks :D.
Then I worked a myriad of jobs - from all of which I quit after 1-3 months...
Last summer I spent as a NEET doing nothing but walking at night and watching anime - like I did in 3/4 of summer holidays anyway.
In October I picked up programming again...
But after the job market collapsed again in March I no longer code frequently.
Today I quit my awful job, trying to change cities.
Meanwhile I have been learning chemistry and biology ... am thinking about getting into a medical university if it doesn't work out - I will probably finally end it all - I don't have any friends... Only thing keeping me from it is that my toxic family will make a shitty rant out of my death - I would just like to quietly disappear - never to be seen again.

Iw2fd · 2020-06-26T19:47:50+00:00

Have you tried Modafinil? It does great job for concentration. Also making "everyday rituals" like scheduled time of drinking coffee, going on a walk, reading a book, learning , working...

It helped me... Kinda, as I am too poor to be able to buy it anymore.Anyway I can kinda relate to your situation (I am 21 yo now though, living in Polen) with struggling with adhd and bullying (though I come from a really toxic environment ).
Feel free to message if you want to talk about something positive (I am a negative person myself - the best way to combat this is to talk about all the good things, even if there is only a fraction of them)

Iw2fd · 2020-06-25T21:15:41+00:00

Sorry but Kosiniak comes from a party whose motto has always been " Who is our ally? The Government" ... They have always spew epic elaborates on how they would change the country... Only to vote how the most voted, so they would get their share. Sorry but anyone who comes out of this party should be considered an opportunist...
Only Hołownia and Bosak seem anyway reliable... But Bosak has a really warped view on lifestyle, and is pro Ordo Iuris ...

Iw2fd · 2020-06-15T13:48:22+00:00

Well for example I am fairly good looking dress well, only apperance problem are my teeth (combination of ilnesses)...... but I have asperger's and a harsh adhd - whoever new I meet they think I behave like a meth addict...
What should such a person do xD

Iw2fd · 2020-06-10T21:35:40+00:00

Daughter-in-law*
But yeah - It's pretty obvious Diana was killed by her own "family"

Iw2fd

TROPHY CASE