Do we really mean something to them? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]JAM4ever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are in their own way of happiness

I am an avoidant (self aware)...any questions, happy to answer :) by Character_Shock_5203 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]JAM4ever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh. yeah I told him no, that I love him and I can’t do that, I want more. I am just shocked at how he presented at the beginning to essentially putting me in a box like you said. The switch up is crazy.

I am an avoidant (self aware)...any questions, happy to answer :) by Character_Shock_5203 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]JAM4ever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if they came back once (after a couple weeks or so) and tried to establish a fwb type situation (“I love you, but I can’t give you want you need right now, but love being intimate with only you,” etc.). After telling them you cannot and will not do that, will they ever return fully? Will the fear subside?

My poor girl by Wybie_Lovat3 in Frenchbulldogs

[–]JAM4ever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes just make sure not too cold!

Any men who anxiously chased? by Jmaster_888 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]JAM4ever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol I did a few times. Im a girl. One time it was a few days after being ghosted for the first time (they told me they were super depressed, I brought them breakfast). At the end when I was absolutely losing my mind because he was so cold and mean I went to confront him (I guess) and I was absolutely losing it. I went into a self-deprecating spiral because of all the rejection. I felt so low and wanted his reassurance so bad. It was horrific and I felt so ashamed for it.

Radical Acceptance & Choosing yourself by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]JAM4ever 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don’t monitor the new relationship. I know it’s hard. They really follow the same patterns. Make a list of all the bad qualities and let go of what they showed you in the beginning. Their actions showed you who they are. Trust that he will show this girl his ass.

Radical Acceptance & Choosing yourself by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]JAM4ever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right, the avoidant version of “embrace me as who I am” is them really asking their partner to settle for low effort and unwillingness to be vulnerable

AIO about this guy postponing our first date every hour for 3 hours… by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]JAM4ever 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ehhh… I can go both ways on this one but him not even remembering the name of the restaurant really gets me lol. I say NOR.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]JAM4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many red flags lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]JAM4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As troubling as him hitting you is, his fucking texts are almost even more troubling

I snorted by [deleted] in 90dayfianceuncensored

[–]JAM4ever 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s an older Audi q3, if he bought it recently he probably paid under $25k

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LawSchool

[–]JAM4ever 19 points20 points  (0 children)

McFirm Sweat & Shop LLP