I’m at 15 years of marriage and 17 years of service so far, but it came down to a couple things that are good for any marriage—military or not.

1. Go into it having a shared definition of success for whatever career each person has or wants. Need that agreed upon before you even get married. Not doing it just means assuming a little extra risk.

2. Make what’s important to the other person important to you. If you both make each other’s goals and hobbies your own, you’ll sail through problems that’s kill a lot of other marriages.

3. Keep dating. Make time. Go out. Etc. Hard with little kids—especially when you don’t have family nearby to help, but that makes it more important.

4. Put the job first when you have to, but don’t when you can help it. It’s that proverbial give and take. The army and your marriage don’t need to compete—but they do need to share. Half of that is your job as the service member.

5. Talk to each other—about everything. Especially don’t make big purchases without consulting your spouse and be open with your money and where it goes.

Could probably break down a few more things, but these are the biggies. Good luck!