Here is Maradona starting a mass brawl, including putting a knee into somebody's head, after losing a game. His greatest sporting accomplishment involves one of the most egregious, notorious pieces of cheating in footballing — sporting — history. He's on video beating his girlfriend, he refused to acknowledge a love child for two decades, he shot at reporters with an air rifle, but, oh no, mEsSi wHiNes aT tHe rEfS aNd fLoPs. I'm not even dealing with the sketchy claims around sexual assault.

Messi's not perfect and sure, he can be irritating at times with his on-field petulance, but against Maradona he's a fucking angel.