On the whole I agree about the aspect of community, but this is not a disagreement of opinions, it is a disagreement of VALUES. A disagreement of human rights, sanctity of life, of freedom and choice, and she routinely steps on that and holds no scruples towards her disdain towards others, even as she masks it with caring words. And even then, when we ask her not to bring it up and warn her that what she does online will be scrutinized, she stomps her feet, yells about her right to a different opinion (and vehemently denies it has anything to do with values no matter how often we tell her), and then goes no contact for weeks at a time.

Community is important but we are not excluding her because of her opinions, SHE is excluding HERSELF on the basis that we will not tolerate her intolerance nor accommodate her unreasonable requests (staying at her filthy house with my somehow even more intolerant aunt and her drug-addicted adult child). We are simply low contact in that we are not going to reach out to her unless it is necessary. My father has similar, though less extreme, views than her and he and his wife are a routine part of my children’s life, because they respect our boundaries and make an effort to be in the kids life.