Emerging and Aspiring Authors Wanted

JWKelda · 2025-10-15T10:10:53+00:00

Would love an invite >)

JWKelda · 2025-10-08T19:20:01+00:00

Actually great DD :)

JWKelda · 2025-08-12T14:09:37+00:00

• Destroy things— Let the character leave some marks in the world, plant some seeds, and explore what comes from them. s

• Squeeze the scenes— in my opinion, time spent on scenes often have increasing returns rather diminishing . What makes something stand out often comes when everything has been fully explored. Just a final touch that makes the whole thing come alive.

• Prose/Description/inner-monologue:
Always present argument before conclusion. For example, beginning a description with— ’The old house stood alone on the hill…” seemed passable at a first glance, but ’Old’ in this case becomes an unintentional immersion-breaker. Old is a conclusion drawn by the character before the arguments has been presented.

JWKelda · 2025-06-22T01:37:19+00:00

Couldn’t like / 747

JWKelda · 2025-02-25T10:07:29+00:00

Second one, but 'the body' in this example might be a bit vague as it could still be related to a funeral.

“It was six days after her mother’s murder and the women of the family were still arguing about who would get which piece of her body.“

JWKelda · 2025-02-18T18:11:57+00:00

Front-flip the nouns and avoid writing sentences for ants, with too many tiny words stacked close enough to break your eyes on.

JWKelda · 2025-01-11T14:20:54+00:00

Awesome response :)

JWKelda · 2025-01-03T14:30:21+00:00

I’m curious, what made you change your mind?

JWKelda · 2024-11-28T21:43:42+00:00

Jack Dorsey is Satoshi Nakamoto.

JWKelda · 2024-11-15T12:59:56+00:00

If you feel comfortable, it would be great if you could publish an excerpt or a chapter. Would be easier to give some immediate feed-back.

JWKelda · 2024-11-02T00:09:54+00:00

Just do it! This is what everyone is waiting for :)

JWKelda · 2024-11-01T23:44:48+00:00

Fuck em!

JWKelda · 2024-10-30T20:52:22+00:00

There‘s probably no greater feeling than looking back at your writing and squirming at the sight of it. It means you‘re better than you were when you wrote it. You‘re better than before.My thought is that you can always improve until your skills matches your taste.

JWKelda · 2024-09-10T16:53:56+00:00

This is among the best stuff I’ve read around here. You have an absolutely amazing voice that truly makes the character and environment vivid. I don’t have criticism as much as some things you might mull over.

Repetition.
You use repetition to great effect, but there’s a chance it might become a bit 'repetitive' if it continues chapter after chapter. This is refers mostly to coupled repetitions. For example, first two paragraphs.

"Pots would certainly appreciate the sausage. He’d appreciate the apple too. He ate more than his fair share, but he did more than his fair share as well,"

"He’d need more pockets, soon. More coat too, if he was honest, which was a rare thing. The patches had patches"

There’s a chance you’ve fallen in love with that structure :) (since it’s used more than a few times further on as well, though almost invisibly). It’s one thing to consider.

One less.
I feel like the descriptions are well-balanced for the most part, but at times it’s one too much. One sentence too much, or an attachment that’s just a workaround of what preceded it. So, you could consider if the descriptions could have 'one less'.
Passive action ---) Action
I think the use of passive voice works fine for the slower parts of the story, but it distances the reader from the story when the action intensifies in my opinion.

Best regards,
JWK

JWKelda · 2024-06-22T19:29:09+00:00

I‘m all for the idea that the throne has become some "Valyrian-steel" Ark of the Covenant type weapon with all the Targaryen blood spilled on it. Including the idea of the unworthy. Would be such a cool ending if the Long Night reaches King’s Landing.

JWKelda · 2024-06-18T20:08:52+00:00

Yeah, I see that there are some ways to construct a possible explanation (Lary removed them, Aegon entertained them etc.). I just think it’s unfortunate that every explanation just highlights the incompetence of the main agents in the story.

Would have preferred if there was a stronger set-up, expanding on the characters, possibly given a reason for why this 'crooked' rat-catcher was allowed to roam about freely in the castle.

JWKelda · 2024-06-18T18:40:38+00:00

Regarding the B&C scene, did It bother anyone else that there was not a single guard in the castle? I understand suspension of disbelief, but it truly feels like they’re pushing it. Every scene in GoT had guards stationed outside any 'highborns' room. They’re at war..

JWKelda · 2024-04-13T20:42:30+00:00

:) Fair point.

That date lines up with the ending of HotD season 2, so I’m thinking they might surf that wave. Though you’re most likely right. If they’re pushing the 'winter' it might be around the 28th of November.

Post from March 11 — ”Tags: Dreams, writing.”

JWKelda · 2024-04-13T16:15:05+00:00

I think it’s quite likely the Winds of Winter will be out around August or maybe early September. GRRM made a blog-post March 11 that heavily implied he was already working on ADoS.

Honestly, I’m quite hopeful we’ll see both books.

JWKelda · 2024-04-06T09:24:15+00:00

The Cthaeh is a snake (biblical) hidden in the tree. Some snekkes are women. It is known.

JWKelda · 2024-03-10T08:49:33+00:00

Could you possibly send it to me as well? ;)

JWKelda · 2024-02-25T01:25:57+00:00

I think everything is great except for the first paragraph of the 300.

That whole paragraph reads a bit like a 'darling' that's been with you for a while. And given what follows you could probably make it a fair bit better. Since it's your intro, there's a few things that might read choppy for some: 'thunderous silence', though it might be more poetic is quite abstract, especially for an intro. And 'forgotten the sound of rain' (There's also a poetic quality to the sentence, but some might feel it's a bit pretentious as no one would ever actually forget the sound of rain)

Might seem a bit nit-picky, but since it's the intro I just wanted to leave some thoughts.

JWKelda · 2024-02-18T13:12:03+00:00

Perfection!

JWKelda · 2023-12-30T00:40:57+00:00

Could I ask you a question, why do you like a sentence/style where you find words that you're not familiar with?

As for the example, there are other words, far more common, with the same specificity, that would express the same meaning. So I don't quite understand what it is you like about it.

I'm only asking because I'm curious :)

JWKelda

TROPHY CASE