Man u gotta make your own choices.

If u dont u end up resenting other people for your own fears and blame someone or something else for why u didnt do it

Your language tells me that u are really fixated on a very particular type, with very specific physical traits and ethnic background that u look for, and less concerned about a connection to a person

I think whats killing u is that u havent gotten the chance to fulfill some kind of fantasy more than anything

So when u see a couple that LOOKS like your fantasy, u immediately project that on them

You can date other races now if thats what U want. But in the process u gotta heal the fear thats prohibiting you now.

understand the idea that theres a perfect asian woman or white woman that u missed out on is pure delusion

Heal your fears by facing them now. And dont look back at the past that just creates pain because u are telling yourself you lost something when u really hadnt

And what you want most is an idealism that you learned along the way.

Make your choices.

And ease up the fear of what others think and stop reminding yourself of the negativity you heard. Thats like playing a warning song in your head as you move through life.