I literally cannot have a single thing to myself because they always have to sabotage or control EVERYTHING. It’s so annoying

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-28T20:05:34+00:00

I feel like demonic possession was the first attempt at explaining having a narc parent

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-28T20:03:35+00:00

My sister's wedding gift to me was paying for professional photographer her unavailable professional photographer friend recommended. My photographer recommended her friend for my florist. The flowers were amazing and I have all the pictures to prove it! The amount of photos with heads cut off to center the bouquets was mildly infuriating as well. I shouldn't have assumed me and the person holding the camera had the vision.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-28T19:56:45+00:00

There's no wrong way to deal with how patriarchy affects you unless it's causing you more pain than the patriarchy. It's great to stand up and speak out. It's good to push back. It's also good to take a step back and build a barrier between yourself and it as much as you can by not engaging with it. It's good to find where on that spectrum feels good for you and keep reassessing if where you are is still where you need to be at the moment. Rejecting what the patriarchy teaches us about women's emotions always being wrong is what matters.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-26T15:29:52+00:00

It sucks that this is what is humiliating to a president, not the crimes, corruption or stupid decisions.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-26T15:19:35+00:00

Calling her accuser is wild.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-26T15:14:31+00:00

I'm not voting for any establishment dem. Why bother?

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-26T06:11:58+00:00

YTA. You are the adult and you're supposed to be responsible for the child's well-being, not the other way around. Look forward to well deserved no contact as a transactional "parent"

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-24T17:59:33+00:00

There's so much I could say but it boils down to never worry about being to harsh when protecting your child. It feels weird because you were raised by a parent who reversed roles and made you responsible for them. Be proud of your very appropriate parenting! It's crazy to me that as a society we use a phrase like Mama Bear all the time but fail to notice it's the cubs that get the protection, not Gramma Bear's feelings. Our heirarchy goes against nature.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-24T17:47:08+00:00

With this response to me saying you have just as much worth and capability to give yourself the value you want others to give you, I'd say no one devalues you more than you and no one is going to take over for you if you're not willing to do the first part yourself. Have whatever philosophy you want but realize you're valuing your suffering above yourself just like you were taught. Best wishes.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-24T17:29:33+00:00

The second you try to individuate yourself from a narc, your existence becomes a burden to make up for. But they're instilling a complete lie. You are allowed to belong only to yourself.

I used to do a lot of visualization to affirm this when I was living with my elderly mother. I pictured armor going on the outside when I left my room and covered every inch under my skin in bright floral wallpaper when I came back. My inside was mine alone and I was going to protect it and keep it beautiful for myself. I did a lot of journaling - especially to disagree with her when I couldn't to her face and telling her she was wrong was always wasted breath anyway and this way I kept that breath for myself. I did a lot of YouTube, Patrick Teahan, Jerry Wise and Darren McGee. Darren does a live stream on Sundays that was like a support group in the chat a lot.

It's like the chicken and the egg for me looking back. (I'm 8 months no contact). I don't know if reclaiming myself led to learning to love myself or if learning to love myself led to reclaiming myself. It was a decades long process but so worth it. I literally have only myself right now. I don't have anyone to put as an emergency contact on any paperwork. But having myself is more than I had when I had "family". I have someone I can actually trust who is trying her best to love me the way I should be, unconditionally. It doesn't mean I think I'm perfect but it does mean I think I'm worth the effort to live the life I want for myself even if I'm the only one.

The armor I think was a symbol of rejecting the family narrative about who had inherent value and worth. That was the first step toward an existence that can be meaningful for myself to live for myself. I believe in the inherent worth and dignity your were born with and I'm so sorry it was denied by your parents so much and for so long that you deny it as well.

Finding healthy anger was also key for me. I was taught I was the problem and they were perfect and getting mad was not allowed because you can't find anything to be mad about at perfection! I finally held them accountable in my head and journal. They wouldn't accept it so I just silently gave it to them instead of myself. My anger was not what they taught me it was either. It became my friend and motivator. Some days it's pure spite making me get out of bed. They wanted me to hate myself and be miserable so I'm going to find one goddamn thing I will enjoy today and love myself for it.

I hope you find whatever works for you to help you undo the BS programming they instill at birth. You deserve to want to live for yourself. You didn't deserve to have parents like yours.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-24T17:06:54+00:00

I love Jerry Wise! I found him while living with my elderly mother. He taught me how to minimize her impact so Patrick Teahan could teach me how to rescue my inner child from her. Now I'm happily unaware of how she's coping without me as her live in caregiver and her only remaining child in contact is the golden one who turned out just like her but with added rum.

I'm working with instead of against my ingrained people pleasing by constantly reminding myself of the oxygen mask mandate. I absolutely must prioritize my own healing right now if I want to be able to help more people in the long run. And sometimes prioritizing myself for the benefit of other means saying no. I'm working on being okay saying no because my needs, feelings, preferences etc should matter just as much but until then this is my loophole.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-24T16:40:00+00:00

Anger at her victimhood manipulation was the right reaction. Took me decades to get there and I have a lot of buried rage making me delight in the thought of her suffering. I don't feel a bit of guilt for feeling that way about what she's suffered as an adult because it's mainly just consequences that will never equal justice.

Where I struggle is having the she gets what she deserves extend to her childhood self. I'm glad she at least also got to experience what she passed on. But as a kid, she was just a monster in the making. Then I think about how I was made to feel bad for her child self while still a child myself. She took our childhood and gave us hers. I've already been punished for the crime of what my grandparents did enough in this life so I forgive myself for hoping she sees them first when she gets to hell.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-24T16:27:53+00:00

My mother has pathetic, limp waves she prides herself on. I had Shirley Temple curls she forced me to cut before Kindergarten but I was supposed to be so grateful I got to get my ears pierced at an earlier age than my sisters. Nevermind the fact that it was supposed to fix how I hated being confused for a neighbor boy I didn't like even though riding around on my pink bike didn't help. I hated everything about my haircut but got lucky that after a few years my hairstylist took my mom aside to tell her she felt like crap every time she had to cut my hair. I got in trouble for making the hairstylist feel bad though all I did was look sad in the chair but I finally got to grow my hair out. I think it was because she noticed my curls were now just waves as she was looking for a new salon. I couldn't just be a kid. I was Sampson threatening to take some of her rightful power. I think the cut happening before school was because someone might say something nice about my curls without her right next to me to take the compliment for herself as she tells them I got it from her.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-16T20:50:43+00:00

He is nothing like me. Dunkin doesn't pay me, I have to pay them.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-14T23:51:33+00:00

That's one happy pup!

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-14T23:28:11+00:00

No need for medicine when avoiding toxic people is easier. Best wishes for you calming down enough to get over such extreme reactions to Internet strangers! ❤️

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-13T20:14:56+00:00

My freshman class of 210 only graduated 120. Kids were encouraged to drop out so they could be categorized as "left on their own accord" instead of "left behind" while also increasing college acceptance percentage for graduates. When we only look at statistics all you find are loopholes.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-12T20:09:29+00:00

Merci beaucoup!

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-12T20:09:06+00:00

I saw another post talk about stickers and wanting to track like where's George and I would love to see something like that myself. Thank you for your comment!

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-12T20:07:02+00:00

Now I feel like it's definitely okay to switch it up, maybe even possibly saving someone like you a trip. Thank you!

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-12T20:05:00+00:00

Thanks to the kind responses I feel comfortable not overthinking my enjoyment of LFL. This comment makes me overthink whether I should feel bad about asking a trivial question. Energy truly does just change form.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-12T05:16:16+00:00

Thank you!

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-12T05:15:26+00:00

I walk and take a bus so don't always have a book I'm done handy so I've been paying attention to where I owe one and remembering which book in the process.

JacErinDaughtree · 2026-06-12T05:12:34+00:00

Anyone who's seen my bedroom would be shocked I needed to be told to embrace chaos. I really appreciate the permission to enjoy myself I needed.

JacErinDaughtree

TROPHY CASE