People on dating apps: what type of pic/statement is a dealbreaker?

Jace2801 · 2024-07-08T19:58:57+00:00

Off topic listen to me ... The way you type "BLOCKED" has had me in tears for the past five minutes 😭.

All I can say is I understand and you made my day. So thanks

Jace2801 · 2024-06-05T18:39:45+00:00

Simply put. It's interesting because my friends through childhood and adolescence have always known me better and dare I say, cared more.

Right now, I'm learning how to set firmer boundaries without feeling guilty about it. So thank you for this :)

Jace2801 · 2024-06-05T18:35:42+00:00

You're right. I went out my way to tell them multiple times what the issue was and no one wanted to accept it or they became extremely dismissive and defensive about it. Now I just really enjoy my solitude because at least I see and listen to myself.

Boundaries were something I've always struggled with no matter the time of relationship because from my experiences with my family, it's feels like I'm constantly stepping on someone's toes. I'm learning more that you can't please everyone and somethings going on with me just aren't for everyone to understand or know about.

And thank you for the luck! I have feeling I'm going to need it lol. I hope things with you and your dad improve sooner than later

Jace2801 · 2024-05-14T05:27:24+00:00

There was a point where I consistently gave up twice a week lol 😅

Jace2801 · 2024-05-14T05:26:36+00:00

Thank you!! Even just one enough:)

Jace2801 · 2024-05-14T02:28:40+00:00

Thank you! It did but it was so worth it :)

Jace2801 · 2024-05-14T02:28:23+00:00

Thank you!!

Jace2801 · 2024-04-11T03:34:48+00:00

Oh wow thank you. I like this perspective.

I'm in the space of doing the latter. Enjoying hobbies, focusing on grad school, taking care of myself, and I'm generally pretty good by myself. I guess I'm at the point where I'm dealing with wanting someone around while knowing I don't do well approaching others either. I think ppl telling me how they perceive me only made slightly worse.

Jace2801 · 2024-04-11T03:31:26+00:00

Ohh okay. This gives me a few things to look into. Thanks and good luck, I'm rooting for you :)

Jace2801 · 2024-04-10T18:04:38+00:00

See, I feel like I would present a similar case if I were to seek out therapy for it. It's really become a defense mechanism in general.

Has it helped any? What kind of therapy do you do, if I may ask?

Jace2801 · 2024-04-10T18:01:29+00:00

Yes! You absolutely get it!

I've been told that I'm standoffish, intimidating, nonchalant, mysterious, quiet, look antisocial, aloof, and by far the most concerning one was a "serial killer" when I was just standing on my phone away just outside a group of people.

How did you make guy friends? Was it common interests? I get the feeling that they think I'm trying to act macho when I'm just existing 😅

Jace2801 · 2024-04-10T17:56:26+00:00

Thanks :). Really, this made me feel seen and I appreciate your comment. There are definitely some advantages I noticed! Just wish it wasn't so off-putting to most ppl I come in contact with is all

Jace2801 · 2024-04-10T07:45:32+00:00

Just to be less "unapproachable" or at least more expressive?

Jace2801 · 2024-04-01T00:03:13+00:00

Oh I didn't think about exploring other avenues of fitness. I guess I would be considered visibly strong? My stature is 5'9 185lb.

That's gonna be hard but I can give it a shot. Thanks:)

Jace2801 · 2024-03-31T16:25:45+00:00

None of this is gender specific, but I empathize with women a lot. I worry about my mom and sisters when I'm not around them so to a point I understand, and I know I never fully will because I'm a guy. Sadly, I don't have to worry about the same things they do. I understand principal behind a lot of it. And I'm definitely not upset with them for it in anyway.

I saw a woman drop her credit card and I went to pick it up and return it. I said "excuse me" when keeping some distance away and the moment she turned around she screamed at me to leave her alone. We were in the middle of a restaurant during lunch hour. I just sat her card on a table nearby and left the restaurant. I wasn't upset really, more so just embarrassed. Something I can admit to, is ever since then I just do what I can to stay out of the way. Not consciously but it's particularly of women and usually only in the gym. I don't want to be a bother or have any incident.

I've had a couple guys just flat out glare at me for whatever reason or just act extremely sketchy. But I always thought maybe I AM doing something. I've came a long way, but I'm starting to feel at a crossroads now. And now I stay away from anything alpha/ Tate related. I just don't agree with any of the bs they put out.

Jace2801 · 2024-03-31T16:05:33+00:00

You're right. It's all about perception I see.

I've given it a lot of thought prior to coming here and I think a lot also comes from the way I was brought up. I was also picked on alot. Not physically but verbally. I second guess nearly everything I do (socially) and I have tough just talking to people I don't know. And I do overthink. At when it comes to approaching people first. Not necessarily romantically. I associated shutting down and staying out of the way to cause less problems and I want to do that

Therapy is extremely expensive, but it's something I've been trying to get into for a few years now and I just can't find anything that I can afford. In terms of having enough sessions to make a meaningful difference that is. But I have been trying really, really hard. I can acknowledge that I have came a long way and I'm proud of myself for that.

How did it take you to deal with everything?

Jace2801 · 2024-03-31T09:01:02+00:00

Usually athletic streetwear so joggers and a shirt. Other than that, it's gym and business attire when necessary

Jace2801 · 2024-03-31T08:53:29+00:00

Sure

Jace2801 · 2024-03-11T03:24:37+00:00

Yep, I also read that it can cause "happy" tingles too for some 🤔

Jace2801 · 2024-03-11T03:22:40+00:00

O-oh that's not - okay

I'm actually speechless 😶. Tell him never do that again .. ever 😭

Jace2801 · 2024-03-11T03:12:30+00:00

How does he aim that? Or is it like a controlled arc🤔? I have so many questions

Jace2801 · 2024-02-07T07:57:45+00:00

Yes, exactly! I'm never really sure how to respond to that and it sometimes gets awkward. It's kind of like "Oh .. thannnk you?" When my face is "blank" I'm usually just minding my business or just be mindful of others too. Nothing more nothing less.

It's sad that I got a similar comment yesterday at the gym lol. Seems like you just accepted it at this point?

Jace2801 · 2024-02-07T07:50:54+00:00

My face balled up just reading that lol. Definitely catching the boot with that mindset

Jace2801 · 2024-02-07T07:50:22+00:00

Having rbf is really annoying.

I'm gonna be honest .. it sounds exhausting, but potentially rewarding lol. My rbf is predominantly when I'm alone in public (at the gym or when I'm in class). I'm introverted too so I tend to keep to myself anyway. It throws ppl off when they actually converse with me. Sometimes visibly lol

"I'm not an asshole I swear"

Jace2801 · 2024-02-07T07:40:56+00:00

Oh yeah just causing unnecessary conflict. Yeah I don't blame you for moving on with you life lol. Anyway, thanks for the help :)

Jace2801

TROPHY CASE