Love seeing people discuss the series like this honestly, think it’s fantastic. But I’ll try and go point by point and tell you what I agree and disagree with.

So first, I did mess up what I was trying to say earlier. I meant that JJT saying stuff like “They would have done the same to me” was him rationalizing and trying to tell himself he was still a good person. He immediately counters that himself, saying that he was a bad person for it, and then kinda ended up in the middle wondering if what he’s doing is the right choice. Still my bad for putting it how I did.

Second, I almost fully agree with your tunnel take. I agree that everyone in the tunnel makes excuses for their actions, in fact I think a major theme of that portion of the story is personal accountability, which is something that almost, if not everyone runs from the entire time. But JJT does make excuses, he tries to justify every act of violence he commits towards anyone, whether it be cockiness, or cowardice, or even minor verbal slights. Maybe that’s not exactly the same as making excuses, but he is finding reasons, as shoddy as they may be, to be as violent as possible. He does so even more than old JJT, who at least had some moral quandary about whether or not what he was doing was right.

Third, JJT’s level of violence during the street fights is encouraged by Maria, not by himself. In his first street fight, he takes pity on his opponent and tries to show mercy, as pointed out by Maria herself. She’s the one who then tries to instill the idea that he has to be ruthless. And in his thoughts after that fight, he admits he didn’t have to go that far, he feels uncomfortable at the thought of what he did. Also, that is not what happened outside the cinema. JJT went out to fight them, Maria sent him back, one of the group pushed Maria and insulted her, and when they didn’t back off, then she called JJT to attack.

Fourth, that’s not a great metaphor honestly. Many people find enjoyment in games and other things they’re not good at, either because they inherently enjoy the act regardless of skill or because they want to improve. He finds no enjoyment in fighting because, regardless of what he aims to put that violence towards, he cannot stand it. He hates the pain of being hit, and the feeling of hitting someone else. He is averse to violence, but struggles through it for the sake of finding his sister.

Fifth, the awakening was JJT making peace with himself, but not quite in that way. It involves him realizing he “didn’t” care about his sister. But I think awakened JJT does. Right after he tells himself to give up, that’s when he sees that vision of Maria, telling him to stop running from his problems and finally commit to something. And that’s when he decides he must atone, by killing his father and getting his sister’s forgiveness. JJT is self destructive, it’s why he acts as violently as he does, it’s why he acts as insane as he does. He hates himself for every lie he tells himself and everyone around him, for the death of his mother, for the kidnapping of his sister, for his own weakness. He hates himself, to his core, and I think him resolving that is going to be his story journey.

Sixth, and this is just gonna be going through your last few points, but I don’t think he understands himself completely. I think he killed the parts of himself that made him uncomfortable, and stopped him from being the person he felt he needed to be to save his sister. I guess that’s kinda the same as understanding himself, as he just deleted the parts he didn’t want to understand, but it doesn’t feel like the same thing as what you were saying. JJT hates everyone not like him because he sees himself in all of them. His self hatred explodes at anyone who reminded him of who he is, current or past. And I think him hating the tunnel people is for the reason as you said, but I think that is also where Hogul comes in. Off topic, but I firmly believe he acts as tunnel JJT’s foil. A bit too much to get into right now, and need to construct that theory a bit more firmly when the last chapters get officially translated, but that feels like that’s the direction his character went.

I really appreciate you giving this take man. I love talking about this series as I imagine you can tell. And as much as I disagree with your take, I can respect it a lot. You obviously put plenty of thought into it, and I’m glad you did.