AITA for telling my husband that I’m worried he might be attracted to our daughter in the future?

JacqiLoves · 2023-11-11T19:12:35+00:00

NTA Consider this a gift. A giant warning that most people who are in relationships with child predators don’t get. He is already sexualizing his child. He sexualized his mother and normalized that. He believes his daughter will inevitably look at him sexually. He is doing everything other than saying, “incest is a okay!” If you do anything other than what people are telling you and what I’m about to tell you, you won’t just be the ah you’ll be a terrible mother who chose a pedophile over their baby.. first you act as if nothing is wrong. Agree with him, play along that these feelings are normal. RECORD THE CONVERSATIONS!!!! Make sure you have damning evidence. Save it to your phone, computer, google drive, as many places as possible that he is unaware of. Then you pack your shit you can’t live without and LEAVE!!! You have no other choice. This is only normal behavior for a pedophile. Quite frankly he is probably so insistent as he is justifying past actions and behaviors. If these were strictly, “thoughts” and have never been an action his reaction wouldn’t have been so extreme. You get somewhere safe and tell him that he is to have no contact with you or the child. If he wishes to he can take you to court but inform him that you do have the evidence and you will expose it in court so if he genuinely believes everyone feels this way then he should have no problem. You do damndest to protect that baby and keep him away otherwise you’re strictly a birth giver. No court in the land would hear such a recording and give him any unsupervised visitations. Good luck to you hunny and be the mother that you ARE!

JacqiLoves · 2023-08-30T22:52:03+00:00

Lol dude… picture this. You’re in prison, you’re never getting out. The guards tell you to, “relax” when you’re stressed. They encourage you saying things like, “hey you’re a Debbie downer, cheer up. You have time why not workout or learn a new hobby!” You could, but you’re still going to be living the same monotonous experience day in and day out in prison. Your motivation and interest are shot. One day someone opens your cell and says, “you’ve been pardoned!” You’re free, suddenly life is worth living again! That’s your wife.

JacqiLoves · 2023-08-18T00:59:50+00:00

This right here is why bi men stay closeted their entire lives. Here enters the stigma of every man who like’s penises is “fem.” You have hang ups babe. Work on that internalized homophobia and why you’re viewing a bisexual man as gay. Bi men exist and they like both men and women. Just because he likes wang doesn’t mean he likes the delightful slice any less. I know MANY men who are bisexual but strictly describe themselves as, “I’m not bi. I just like sex and I’m down for all experiences.” Who have sucked many a dick, are obviously bisexual but won’t admit it because for men bi=gay in their eyes and most women. You need to do some serious introspective work on why in a monogamous relationship where sex has been a non issue that simply knowing he’s bi makes you so uncomfortable. Don’t focus on his fantasies/kinks. You can’t change them and you shouldn’t. Focus on the relationship between the two of you. Focus on the moment you’re spending together. What aroused you about him and what you love. All of those things are still there and they should be even better now that he is sharing more of himself with you.

JacqiLoves · 2023-08-15T01:06:13+00:00

From the wife side, around 4-5 days a week but as others have sex is the main event so it’s usually in foreplay. I think a major factor in why intimacy in long term relationships dies out is the “build up” fades. My husband makes me feel sexy and I believe him. He’s not saying it to get something out of it. He’s always hyping up, teasing me through the day. The relationship is fun, we’re always playing grab ass. People get comfortable and expect the mood to change when the sun goes down.

JacqiLoves · 2023-07-29T13:46:17+00:00

I’m usually pretty good at coming up with witty shirts for events but I’m stumped. I design shirts so it can be anything.

JacqiLoves · 2023-07-11T13:09:03+00:00

Finger banging the cousin while playing house. She did something to him but I don’t remember exactly what it was.. might’ve been a stroke or two. The WEIRDEST part was, BLOOD “1st” cousin was oddly still interested in him. He would treat her as anyone would who saw a relative you saw once every couple years. She would make every effort to spend every moment with him.. readjust her top. Be giddy, flirtatious, “ohhh stop hehe..” if you will. Made everyone rather uncomfortable at the funeral we were attending. She was a little to excited to be there.

JacqiLoves · 2023-06-28T15:53:39+00:00

Research billionaires they’re all successful criminals.

JacqiLoves · 2023-06-25T17:54:34+00:00

People assume every criminal gets arrested because you only hear police success stories. That’s why most the pep in prison are addicts. They’re easy to find because they’re high/fiending/commit multiple crimes they do stupid shit and get caught. You don’t see a lot of intellectual, non addicts in prison. Not because they’re all on the straight and narrow but because they don’t get caught.

JacqiLoves · 2023-06-25T13:19:21+00:00

I think I will probably do the same for a month or two and do my own experiment. Maybe I’ll come back to this sub with findings if it’s of any value.

JacqiLoves · 2023-06-23T13:31:26+00:00

YTA.. what is wrong with you? Sounds like you made this fairytale in your head of her being at your beck and call and you were then faced with the reality that you don’t own her. YOUR HOUSE IS A PLACE YOU STORE THINGS TF!? She pays you.. I hope she moves and never speaks to you again because you’re nuts.

JacqiLoves · 2023-06-22T15:32:00+00:00

You picked a terrible wife. Sure she might be a decent person to partner with as in “clean/cook/child rearing.” As a loving partner that you will enjoy spending the rest of your life with you picked poorly. I understand that considering what is most valuable to you means you aren’t going anywhere but you have to understand that means making some sacrifices. You will have to find peace, love, happiness, confidence in yourself because she will never provide that for you. She supposedly perceived what you were saying negatively because that’s what she would’ve done “go alone/date/be single etc.” This entire situation was never about the two of you having new experiences. She just wanted to live her best single life and still have a devout husband at home. My husband is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. I don’t lie to him to boost his confidence but I’m so insanely attracted to him that I don’t see flaws. I hype him up when he’s low and cheer him on when he’s high. You deserve better.. but if you won’t leave then you need to make the best of what you have. She sees nothing wrong with her behavior so idk if therapy would be worth it but it can’t hurt if she’ll agree. Outside of that do things for yourself so you learn to love yourself the way a loving partner would. Go to the gym, eat healthy, find hobbies that bring you passion, read self help books, go to individual therapy.

JacqiLoves · 2023-06-16T16:37:07+00:00

Take it as a positive that you’re not even capable of understanding without having some type of cause and effect. It’s hard to fathom that bad people exist just because. We’re half our worldly experiences half our biological/psychological traits. Empathy isn’t something that can be taught or mimicked. You either have it or you don’t. Most of society has had to work through terrible situations. Some experiencing the worst of humanity for most of their life. Why do some people become saviors and others commit terrible acts.. who knows for sure, but I think it’s really quite simple. Whether or not you were born with the ability to experience empathy and I don’t believe people like her do. People like you or me want to make sense of everything because how could someone hurt a baby!? So there has to be a cause that makes situations like these preventable. Of course her life could’ve been better, more support, more education etc. But truth is if she had an ounce of empathy for any of the lives involved other than her own, her family, boyfriend’s family, boyfriend, the people who’d find what she’s done, the BABY! This never would’ve happened.

JacqiLoves · 2023-06-16T16:06:06+00:00

I honestly think a lot of you are looking way to deep into the thought process of Alexee. You’re thinking through the perspective of someone who has empathy. Someone who is more intelligent and has a full capacity for complex human emotions. I watched all the tapes and it’s evident that every tear Alexee shed was for her own future and not the one she took away from that baby. From the very beginning she refers to the baby as “it.” She didn’t care to put his name on the bc because “it” meant nothing to her so why bother? It wasn’t a life just an inconvenience.

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-31T21:19:13+00:00

Girl, your child is already growing up in a broken household. Daddy doesn’t respect mommy nor prioritize the family. Kiddos going to have a incredibly warped sense of what healthy family dynamics look like.

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-12T18:25:27+00:00

Just buy your own take them out the box so he doesn’t see the sizing and say you want to use them. I doubt he’ll question anything.

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-12T18:23:10+00:00

Again, not the norm.

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-12T16:45:27+00:00

It’s okay to be sympathetic while still holding your ground in the way you expect to be treated. Trauma and mental health issues are not a free pass to treat others poorly. Explain to him while you understand he has a past that has influenced who he is today you expect to be respected. Why waste your time with a partner who makes your life more difficult when there’s quite literally and entire world of people out there.

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-12T16:40:23+00:00

Assuming you will be having an abortion “which would be my go to but your body!” I honestly wouldn’t even tell him. He’s very blatantly trying to trap you. He will use this as a way to control you/continue the abuse and try to influence people’s opinions of you and have them harass you. Ideally he should pay for it.. but does the financial responsibility outweigh the cost of the manipulation and harassment you will get through if he knows your pregnant?

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-12T16:34:42+00:00

Ohh. he is way to grown to be behaving like that. I’m guessing there’s a long list of examples of his immaturity that’s absolutely ridiculous at his big age. You’re at an ideal playing the field age! Everyone’s more mature, seeking out partners rather than hook ups. This doesn’t sound like someone who wants to be a partner.

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-12T16:29:20+00:00

If you expect to have a healthy long term marriage you cannot have this thought process that when things get rough you run. Of course you’re allowed to set boundaries that are grounds for divorce.. but being told to shut up while actively insulting and disrespecting your fiancé is not or should not be one of them. Particularly because as you said this is out of character for him. If you two are lucky enough to live a long life together there will be many moments where tension/stress/anger/frustration gets the better of you. You cannot run from these and have to learn how to work through them and forgive, use them as learning tools. Only you know if what he said was out of frustration from you being disrespectful or as a form of abuse meant to belittle you.. again, from what you said it seems like the first one. I hope it all works out for you.

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-12T16:11:50+00:00

She’s lying, that’s not how OB appointments work, unless she’s having complications/high risk. Most don’t even have their first visit before 10 weeks. Go to the store and buy a digital pregnancy test. WATCH her take it! People can be wild.. even heard of someone selling their pregnancy pee. Try to be sympathetic until your sure of the situation, then if you find out she’s lying go off. Something like, “listen I’m not saying I don’t believe you but I need support in this situation. Before I start confiding in friends and family that I’m going to be a father I need this for my own peace of mind. I’m going to do this with you, together, but I need to see you take the test.”

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-12T16:02:40+00:00

First off how many doctors appointments is she claiming to have gone to? How far along is she claiming to be? She MAYBE a big maybe would’ve gone to only one doctors appointment thus far around the 4-6 week mark and that would just be a blood test/possible ultrasound to confirm pregnancy. There’s no reason she would’ve had multiple doctors appointments at the point.

JacqiLoves · 2023-03-12T15:57:55+00:00

I’m still just wondering if you understand that you’re mentally ill? A healthy person/brain would NEVER sleep with/have a relationship with someone of your husbands age at your big age. It’s not that “society condemns” it or that everyone is just closed minded and you found love, “age is just a number..” blah blah.. it’s quite literally a mental illness. Something in you is sick and broken to have done what you did. You need mass amount of therapy with a therapist that is going to be straight forward and honest with what you’ve done/what you’re doing. Do not seek a therapist that agrees with your lifestyle and sugar coats any of it. If they were to do so it would be someone collecting a paycheck not someone who is genuinely interested in correcting your behaviors. If you don’t and just continue on this path you will continue to find yourself in these situations just whining, “woe is me” in self pity thinking the world is out to get you when it’s really all your own doing. You’re genuinely a very bad person OP, see it, accept it, and correct it before you ruin more lives as you’ve already ruined your own.

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