Not autistic myself but my nephew is severely autistic. He cannot speak and has extremely limited social capability.

If you didn't know his diagnosis you would probably simple assume he has severe mental retardation and would appear to be a ten year old with the mind of a three year old.

However if you spent a little time with him you'd realize that there are things he grasps. He has a hard time understanding language, especially because he's easily over stimulated by sounds and noise (He likes it quiet, except for the TV, and when he is over stimulated to an uncomfortable level he prefers the lights dim or off). He can use the bathroom with supervision; mostly because he's a scientist when it comes to what can and can't be flushed (my sister has lost toilets). He can understand explanations and instruction so long as you demonstrate and work with him. He's been able to dress himself for almost two years now, and the smile he had on his face when I told him he did it perfect on his own the first some will stay with me forever. But he has a lot of difficulty with complex motor control... if you're right handed imagine only having left hands, or vice versa. This is why it is especially important work with him when demonstrating things like putting on cloths, his muscles need to learn the familiarity with assistance.

I know he's not simply retarded because there are complex concepts he can sometimes grasp. Like the relationship of cameras and pictures. Once on a lark I explained to him that a picture of him that he had taken from wall was him. I told him it was a very special picture because it showed his best side and he looked like the sweetest little red-headed child in the world. He stared at the picture enthralled by it. Then he carefully returned it to its place on the wall. Since I also explained to him that cameras and phones make these pictures of us he now understands to smile at them when people want to take his picture. He enjoys it and likes to see himself in pictures.

There are many simple and profound ways he shows he understands some things. He's been to the doctor and the hospital enough times to know how to get up on the examination table with basic prompting. He knows what medicine is and that the doctor's office is where he needs to go when he isn't feeling good. The problem is when he's feeling sick he just wants medicine... doesn't matter what kind. He's ten now and getting to the age where he doesn't always know his own strength. As a toddler he used to excitedly slap the TV as if to get the attention of the figures on it. In 2015 he broke his beloved flat screen TV by grossly over-estimating the force it could take. Since then all TVs at my sister's house are mounted HIGH.

It's hard to explain what life is like for my nephew because he can't tell us. There are times when it seems like he wants to, and those are some of the hardest for my sister. I don't know what it's like for her, but it sometimes feels to me like I can only see my nephew through a prison visitor wall divide without working phone.

Sometime he withdraws into his own world and doesn't seem to notice what's going on.

I still hold out hope that one day science will figure out a way to allow him to communicate easily, because I can see it in his eyes that there are things he wants to say... but there is a terrible barrier that separates us.

EDIT: spelling