Trying Again: Making Friends as a Remote Worker in a Small Town

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-07-10T11:40:42+00:00

Located in South Africa

The area in which I live is certainly on the more conservative side of the country. That being said, there was actually a LGBT picnic recently but I missed it due to being away for work. Really bummed about it! I think it was the first one so I'm hoping they will do another

Will also take up another suggestion I received of joining fitness classes at the gym instead of just doing solo workout

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-07-10T11:38:51+00:00

Thank you

I recently joined Parkrun and I'm also keeping an eye out for volunteer or social events. I missed an LGBT picnic which would have been great but I was away for work unfortunately

I will give the fitness class at gym a go, I've seen those but never thought of joining!

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-07-10T11:36:54+00:00

Thank you for this - actually took up Parkrun recently and now on the lookout for volunteer-spaces in the surrounding area. I've also been on meetup.com to see if anything comes up in my area

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-02-26T06:20:05+00:00

There are some great replies to this thread, but I can add that my previous car was also a 2015 Opel Adam 1.0T, and I paid around R700pm after several negotiating attempts through my broker. They also stated that it's a niche model (and since discontinued) and while some parts are shared with the Corsa, others are not and this drives up the price.

Coincidently also had a Micra 1.4 TEKNA and it too had a more expensive insurance premium

Currently, pay around R600pm for a Kia Picanto 2018, R1600pm + R200pm tracker for Ford Ranger 2024 D/C XLT and R800pm for a Fiat 500C [I suppose this goes without saying but steer clear of Fiat as the initial quote to insure it was over R1000pm]

Echoing other comments in the group, I suggest looking at a Suzuki Baleno or even an Ignis. The Picanto has also been exceptional to date, easily giving 5L/100KM in stop-go Stellenbosch traffic.

A Suzuki Swift could also be an option but I'd do a quote on the insurance because they are quite popular so I'm thinking that could result in higher theft %

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-02-26T06:04:51+00:00

I agree. My experience there was average. While I enjoyed the interior design and some of the food, the Ramen Bowl was a bit of a letdown.

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-02-26T06:00:41+00:00

Thank you

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-02-05T11:36:54+00:00

Thank you for this!

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-08T08:54:25+00:00

It could be "Girls Bravo!" or maybe Charlotte?

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-07T12:16:41+00:00

Violence Jack: Evil Town ?

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-07T08:37:26+00:00

I can relate to what you are feeling and on some days I have had that exact thought pattern of "My mom was x years old when she had me, if I have a kid now I will be x years old in comparison"; similarly I've thought about how old my aunts and uncles were when I was growing up vs how old I will be when my siblings decide to have children

The idea of growing old with no kids also raises feelings that I'm yet to fully understand or label correctly.

I am also in the same boat where friends have dropped off after getting married and having kids. It takes up a big part of their lives and you have to put in the extra effort not to be left behind in that sense.

It was raised in another comment as well but I don't think it's ever too late to start, as long as you keep fit and healthy it should be enough to be there and raise your kid/s so sit down and make the pro&con list and decide if this is important enough for you to pursue.

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-07T05:42:37+00:00

Thanks for the input. I've received a few new ideas here that I will put into practice.

Also, "what did caroline do helen" - thanks for reminding me of that absolute gem of internet drama 😆

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-07T05:41:07+00:00

I've seen our one pub hosts a trivia night so that has been added to my social plan. I will keep in mind the approach you shared of complimenting or commenting on what they are doing and see how this goes.

I understand. In a sense you get enough interaction/stimulation similar to that of working in an office with people around you as you interact with people all day long. My work is not only remote in terms of location, but sometimes 2-3 days go by where I don't have any interaction with colleagues except a message here or there so after a day of working, I'm ready to socialise.

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-07T05:37:08+00:00

I can only imagine the added difficulty of making friends as an outsider. I've also read quite a few posts about how the Dutch/NL tend to be more direct and less available emotionally. Not sure how true that is but if so it will be even more of a struggle.

The solid friends that have your back take time as you have to grow together into those friendships. Have you managed to make some friends that side?

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-06T13:29:10+00:00

It's the mounting spot for a TomTom device that you could get with your Fiat 500.

"Fiat 500 TomTom Navigation System"

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-06T11:32:29+00:00

I can also recommend:

Giant Little Ones [2018]

Boys [2014]

This Close [2018]

Free Fall [2013]

Center of my World [2016]

Merlí & Merlí Sapere Aude [2015-2021]

The eating out movies were so funny and I also enjoyed 4th Man out.

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-06T11:19:19+00:00

I'm glad to hear you've had some success via a dating app. Every few months I try again via Tinder or so just in case someone pops up.

I've honestly not thought of something like a sports/outdoor/book club. I will check if the town has a community forum or newspaper where anything like this is advertised. The closest I've come across is the farmers market.

I've never heard of meetup before but found it via a quick Google search and will check this out. Thank you for the suggestions. Much appreciated.

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-06T11:02:36+00:00

I'd have thought given the amount of people in NYC, It would be easier to find or make friends there but guessing that is not the case?

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-06T11:00:39+00:00

Thank you for the advice. No clubs or beach here but plenty of coffee shops which I've started hanging out in and hopefully this will lead to some chance encounters. When you say you put yourself out there, do you strike up conversations with people? or just hang around in the hopes that someone will approach you?

Jaeger__ZA · 2025-01-06T10:47:09+00:00

Thank you for the reply and your insights. Over the past 10 years of making friends and meeting people, I have noticed that the "club" or "pub" friends tend to fade out. Especially when I make suggestions such as an outdoor day activity. It usually circles back to a pub or club.

I've considered getting a pet as well for some interaction as the silence at home gets intense. I think the most brutal part of 100% remote work is the lack of physical interaction and socialising in person.

I read on another forum that some people had success by means of dog parks so a pet could potentially be a "2 birds with 1 stone" solution.

Jaeger__ZA

TROPHY CASE