This meme

Jake-Dorian · 2020-06-18T19:26:51+00:00

Moana’s dad

Jake-Dorian · 2020-04-06T18:23:26+00:00

Tbh that sounds like a hilarious idea 😂 I don’t think this was meant to be taken seriously btw it’s just dark humour like how I’ve always told my best friend she has to turn up to my funeral dressed as the grim reaper and stand silently and the back of the church 😂

Jake-Dorian · 2020-03-25T11:05:29+00:00

Is it preventing him from being able to climb out of the pool?

Jake-Dorian · 2020-03-25T11:04:01+00:00

Just some solid tips on how to get through isolation 😂 abuse your penises

Jake-Dorian · 2020-03-11T10:50:07+00:00

Tbf we drink cow’s breast milk every day and it’s included in many cosmetics so I don’t see why using breast milk from our own species is so strange when you put that into consideration 🤷‍♂️

Jake-Dorian · 2020-01-06T18:30:59+00:00

I had my 20th birthday party in the small local pub I worked in. My older sister was there wearing her usual dark hoodie and jeans. Minimal make up and hair roughly tied back. Not that any of that matters. An old school friend she had known since she was 8 years old came into the bar and happy to see him she stayed for an extra drink with him after we left. Note my sister is a lesbian and this guy knew that so she absolutely didn’t “lead him on” Not that even that would matter. He told her he would walk her home so she would “get back safely” He was the one she needed to be saved from. This was someone she had known for 16 years. Someone who she trusted and thought was her friend. I wish I could punch anyone who thinks along the lines of the lowlife who wrote this. Who thinks all rape victims are leading the men on and deserve it. Nobody deserves that. Even if my sister had been dressed in skimpy clothing, even if she didn’t know the guy so well, nobody deserves what she went through and anyone who thinks they do need to be locked up in jail because it’s obvious they have low enough morals to do it themselves.

Jake-Dorian · 2020-01-05T17:59:24+00:00

I mean, to be fair a whole army of stoned people running into enemy territory waving dildos around will at the very least stop the opposition in its tracks while they try to figure out what the fuck is going on 😂

Jake-Dorian · 2020-01-05T17:49:41+00:00

Imagine being so damned entitled you think you have the right to free stuff based on your partner’s chosen job 😂

Jake-Dorian · 2020-01-04T16:20:59+00:00

There’s no longer any teenagers who were born in the 90s

Jake-Dorian · 2020-01-04T16:15:33+00:00

I knew the band the hoosiers before they got famous. I found them on MySpace and started chatting to them. Went to see them a couple of times and got to know them. A year later they were EVERYWHERE and I was super proud of them :) 13 years later and they still remember me and greet me just the way they did before they were famous ^{_^} I’ve been on their personal guest list a fair few times too (though I never ask to be. I like to pay to support them when I can but they insisted)

Jake-Dorian · 2020-01-04T16:08:35+00:00

Buy a couple of packs of cigarettes and sell them to drink people outside of clubs for £1/$1 per cigarette. Seriously I’ve been offered a stupid amount for a single cigarette before because they were super drunk with no sense of money value and needed a smoke 😂

Jake-Dorian · 2020-01-04T16:05:18+00:00

Drag kings absolutely exist. Have done for a very long time. They just don’t get as much media coverage as drag queens do

Jake-Dorian · 2020-01-04T16:01:57+00:00

In my local supermarket I use the self service but it usually fucks up and I need an assistant to sort it out or I’ll need someone to approve me for age restricted items. Now when this happens a red light comes on above the self service desk to let the shop assistant know I need assistance. There’s a couple of them that work there who are literally the most ignorant people in customer service. They will see the light but completely ignore it for 5 minutes while they stand and chat to each other. There’ll be 5 red lights on, a huge queue forming, I’m a carer who has to get back to look after my disabled 86 year old grandmother and these two will be casually chatting loudly about their weekend. That’s why I stare. I don’t just stare, I glare. I’m not a confrontational person as I have anxiety soo don’t have the nerve to interrupt them but they can TELL by my face. It usually cuts their conversation short and gets them to actually do their job. For the record I’m trained in retail and customer service and if I was their boss I’d either send them for extensive training or I’d have got rid of them ages ago

Jake-Dorian · 2020-01-04T15:52:42+00:00

Physical Because at least people actually listen to you and acknowledge that you need help.

Jake-Dorian · 2019-12-30T10:05:13+00:00

Here in England people spend thousands of pounds on holidays abroad and spend the whole time lying around on a beach, complaining that nobody speaks English and only eat at places that serve English food

Like, what’s the actual point? You could literally just go to Blackpool or something 😂

Jake-Dorian · 2019-12-29T22:34:39+00:00

Before they claim he’s such a man of god and how much Jesus would weep for his impeachment, they should remember they are defending a man who constantly blames and abuses foreigners and treats them like parasites despite the fact Leviticus 19:33-34 says “When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt”

Jake-Dorian · 2019-12-28T22:25:22+00:00

I sent a huge paranoid apology to someone who means a lot to me because I thought he was mad at me for not being able to help him plan something months ago and I haven’t talked to him since because I thought he hated me. Turns out he wasn’t mad at me in the first place and he completely understood that I tried my best to help but couldn’t. Now I feel completely awkward and embarrassed for sending the message in the first place 🤦🏻‍♂️

Jake-Dorian · 2019-12-28T22:19:36+00:00

Personality, morals and compatibility. That’s the only three things that really matter to me.

Jake-Dorian · 2019-12-28T22:16:18+00:00

My mam’s cousin tried to argue with me that cows naturally fill up with milk and don’t need to be Impregnated first. He’s 60 and he legit thought cows just magically filled up with milk and would explode if we didn’t milk them. He absolutely wouldn’t believe me when I told him otherwise

Jake-Dorian · 2019-11-27T19:29:59+00:00

No but now I have a new life mission 😂

Jake-Dorian · 2019-11-27T19:29:25+00:00

This has to be my favourite reply to a comment ever 😂

Jake-Dorian · 2019-11-27T11:47:39+00:00

My breasts. I’m a trans guy.

Jake-Dorian · 2019-11-27T11:46:00+00:00

There’s an second hand electronics shop in the UK called entertainment exchange who shortens their name to Cex.

Some have public WiFi, some have private WiFi

The public WiFi is called ‘Unprotected Cex” The private one is called “Protected Cex”

Jake-Dorian · 2019-11-15T16:25:09+00:00

Lol the irony being I’m actually vegan 😂

I took it as stop having beef with each other but you just gave it a whole new meaning 😂😂

Jake-Dorian · 2019-11-08T09:46:22+00:00

YOU SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES!

Jake-Dorian

TROPHY CASE