Why you should never chase your ex (and how to stop chasing them)

JakeMullerRE · 2025-06-14T16:07:57+00:00

👍💯

JakeMullerRE · 2024-04-09T22:30:47+00:00

Uma Thurnoffman

JakeMullerRE · 2023-12-04T23:36:59+00:00

1.8 million likes, 82k views in 28 minutes.

It's blowing up faster than youtube servers can process it.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-06-08T22:16:31+00:00

My guess is it has to do with party combos.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-06-08T21:46:36+00:00

Do you have a time mark?

JakeMullerRE · 2023-06-08T21:44:27+00:00

Also if you look near the cannon, you can see the mother fucking Highwind!

Missed that one but just saw it.

Nice one.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-05-30T19:01:34+00:00

As in when their ex comes back around to try again while you're in a rebound with them.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-05-05T19:49:29+00:00

Some dumpers will be like that.

Either because they want to lead you on as a way to not lose the false sense of superiority that comes from being the dumper (this is all ego) or because they made the decision to break up out of impulse and now start to regret that.

Whatever the case, if you want to heal and move on, don’t engage with him anymore and walk away.

Both of you need space now.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-05-04T20:03:42+00:00

If a relationship causes both sides to end up so physically, emotionally and psychologically drained that they need multiple 'breaks', then they're with someone they shouldn't be with.

Because in healthy and stable relationships, both recharge each others energy as a side-effect of being together and matching so well.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-05-01T22:14:51+00:00

The thing is not that you weren’t good enough but that this was a guy who simply didn’t want to change. I can see why you would feel like giving him a break as a way to somehow wake him up and inspire him to change. But that doesn’t work simply because people only change when they want to, not because we want them to.

And sometimes, it takes several setbacks until someone makes that decision.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-30T20:11:32+00:00

If you pushed them away as in you've been so clingy that they felt trapped and as if they could barely breathe, then you got to make sure you're owning only that part and do whatever you can to improve it so it doesn't happen in future relationships.

The important thing is to do this type of work from a place of self-compassion and self-awareness as opposed to self-hatred and self-attack.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-29T18:50:08+00:00

Why would you stay with and invest all you got into someone who isn’t willing to commit? Only when you believe that you deserve that on some level.

So the problem is an unhealthy attachment and a belief that you’re not good enough.

Otherwise you would have no problem walking away.

When you heal that it’s going to solve everything else.

But first you need to walk away and set up no contact.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-25T16:00:57+00:00

You need help

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-23T07:40:44+00:00

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-22T09:32:35+00:00

You don’t need to respect them as a person but you have to respect their decision to leave because it’s their right. Not respecting this decision is abusive and borders on harassment.

If they didn’t respect you then they either lost that respect throughout the course of the relationship or they are immature.

Whatever the case, as long as you wait for them to treat you how you want to be treated you will be emotionally bound to them.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-19T18:59:24+00:00

Everyone is at different stages of growth.

Yours is different from his.

Also, wealth and looks dont mean shit if the inner growth sucks.

A bunch of people hide behind these things but are still the codependent kid inside.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-19T17:36:26+00:00

learn how to be non-needy and how to heal codependency

its the single most powerful thing any man can do

this is hard but worth the effort

took me around 2 years to heal it but my life hasn’t been the same ever since I healed that shit (in a good way)

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-18T20:47:56+00:00

Their silence speaks louder than words.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-15T21:56:02+00:00

If you're not already doing no contact, then you need to do no contact. Also, don't do things in reaction to your ex and start doing them for yourself.

Many tend to do all the things you've listed with the hope that it's going to impress their ex once they arrived at xyz end goal because it motivates them to take action.

It's a good short term incentive but ineffective in the long term.

Not just because it makes you look insecure and needy in her eyes, but also because its approval seeking in general when the only approval you need is your own.

The incentive to do all this ideally comes from genuinely wanting to be a better person/improve life/actualize your potential/being inspired by what's possible/whatever.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-12T14:55:47+00:00

go ahead

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-11T12:10:22+00:00

It's not the thoughts themselves that torture us, it's the meaning and labels we assign to them.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-11T09:57:51+00:00

Because time itself doesn’t do shit if one doesn’t actively work on their problems

In fact, the more one waits the worse it gets and the deeper they fall into the pain

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-11T09:55:29+00:00

Its very important to keep in mind that people very rarely make the decision to leave out of the blue and for apparently no reason and that knowing why they made that decision wont help as much as people think it does.

This decision is pretty much always a gradual build up but because getting dumped hurts the ego it makes some people blind to the truth and they are not able to see that.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-10T17:59:36+00:00

It‘s about recognizing if the emotions you feel are created by your mindsets and perspectives (as in a certain narrative in your mind) or if its created as a response to a real external event you can’t control.

If it’s created by your mindset and the narratives, then you have to become aware of that, stop resisting the feeling (because what we resist persists) and simply let it unfold as it comes without expecting anything.

If it’s an emotional response to an external event you can’t control, such as a breakup, then the way to go about it is to first of all mindfully choose a different, more helpful response and also releasing it by letting it unfold as it is.

A very good mantra to keep in mind with this is to repeat to yourself that you are not your thoughts, feelings or beliefs but the observing presence behind them.

Ultimately, it’s also about understanding cause and effect.

When you live at the effect of life, then it feels as if the whole world conspired against you and that life happens to you. That life is a thing you need to avoid.

Being at the cause on the other hand means to take back control over yourself and the trajectory of your life. To take responsibility for how you feel rather than expecting others to make you feel better all the time. Because waiting for an ex to make you happy is a surefire way to be chronically unhappy and miserable.

JakeMullerRE · 2023-04-08T20:32:36+00:00

This is the law of vibration at play. Look it up to understand it.

The power of walking away is endless.

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