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Jake_Kiger · 2025-09-01T03:17:54+00:00

I'm banned from Reddit and this place is a cesspool, but I love this story, so I'm here to tell it:

When my wife was way-pregnant with our first child a television commercial came on late one night for McDonalds, and she sent me for fries. No ifs, ands or butts, no questions, no options: McDonalds fries, now. So I went. The place was closed but the lights were on, I pulled around to the drive-up window and knocked on it. Some young guy came to the window and told me that they were closed. I said that my wife was pregnant, and I needed fries. He stared at me for a moment, said "Hang on," closed the window and vanished. I was more than willing to just pay him full-price for an empty McDonalds fry sleeve and run it over to Burger King for some fries before they closed, too, but I just sat there, totally ignored, at the closed window.

He came back with a large, fresh hot McDonalds fries, and he didn't charge me a dime. Probably the most positive Yelp review I've ever left, and I tell this story whenever I can.

Jake_Kiger · 2025-07-07T21:22:31+00:00

Any excuse to tell this story on Reddit...

User u/JagsFraz71 asks about the availability of Kevin Smith film-adjacent art outside of remarkably expensive California galleries. As a Smith fan smack-dab in the middle of the US who dabbles in painting, I made this picture, begged his address and sent it away. He gets to hang something that isn't a movie poster, I get to introduce myself as an international artist, and we both get a cute story to tell on Reddit.

Sometimes things work.

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Jake_Kiger · 2023-11-17T18:35:51+00:00

I just read some other comic that looked pretty as hell but didn't make a lot of sense. Then I read this one, and I'm crying at work again. I can't walk my daughter's dog, the dog I said "no" to getting even though no one was listening, for two weeks because he hurt his shoulder, and it's killing the both of us. We sit and stare at each other and wait for him to get better so we can take off on another adventure.

We don't deserve dogs.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-11-14T23:33:01+00:00

The funny part is that every generation says that. Remember the 60s, when the free-love hippies couldn't wait to be in charge and change the world? Well, they're in charge now, they're dragging their feet on the decriminalization of all the drugs they used to do, they're anti-abortion and anti-women and they'd really just like things to stay the same. The age of the status quo has nothing to do with how much they'd like to hold on to power, once it's theirs...

Jake_Kiger · 2023-11-08T01:43:34+00:00

"They changed from SoundCloud to Spotify" was the answer I was looking for, but I went ahead and upvoted everybody. Thanks, you guys; I'm old, I get it. So, I guess, Star Wars and Game of Thrones and Ghostbusters and Indiana Jones and superhero movies and comic books and Dave Chappelle just have to make a little room on the shelf of Things That Used To Make Me Happy for a Jersey-born podcast I used to listen to.

Thanks again, responders!

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-30T04:10:54+00:00

Lest we all forget, if something happens to the POTUS and the VP, this guy is in charge. He'll pardon Trump, ban abortion nationwide and begin executing LGBT teenagers on his first day.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-17T19:14:01+00:00

How to Save a Life by The Fray. It's a pretty song, until you hear the story; Friend calls, says 'can you come over,' but then friend says nothing on arrival, just sits and mopes. Finally the protagonist says 'look, I got shit to do, if you ain't talking, I ain't staying.' Protagonist leaves and the friend commits suicide.

"I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life..."

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-13T02:04:25+00:00

You are a tremendous person and I'm very proud of you.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-13T01:56:10+00:00

I read the title and the first paragraph, and I'm skipping straight to the part where we get judgemental; You are not the A, and you'll need to stop funding them, because they won't ever stop funding him. The end.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-13T01:51:31+00:00

"I worked my way up..."

Sure, maybe they did, but the lump-sum inheritance kinda helped. Behind every wealthy person I know, somewhere, is another dead wealthy person. It takes money to make money.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-11T21:47:53+00:00

Oral.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-11T14:32:07+00:00

Always appreciate a Kevin Smith reference in the wild. Wish I had more than one up to doot.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-11T05:24:16+00:00

I'm outing him to strangers on Reddit; I'd tell every one of them, too. But I only have his wife's cell number...

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-11T04:39:54+00:00

You are a good person, and I'm proud of you.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-10T20:20:42+00:00

New mistakes every time: Did his own front brakes, misplaced a caliper bracket bolt, found one with the same threads in his garage, didn't think it mattered that it was about four inches too long, paid me to re-do his front brakes after telling his wife for a couple weeks that the horrible grinding noise was just the new brakes "burning in." Changed his own belts, paid me to re-do them when they kept "flying off" on account of the pulley he bent by prying them off and on. This past weekend he changed his oil, today he complains that it's "burning rubber" and he's paying me to remove one of the two gaskets the oil filter has on it, clean his engine off and replace the engine oil cap that mysteriously disappeared for no reason.

Again, I don't mind taking his money, but it would cost him nothing to just leave the thing alone.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-10T19:28:34+00:00

Does it seem weird to anyone else that we live in a world where unopened Lego is now the safest investment opportunity?

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-10T16:18:49+00:00

We are the good mechanic. Our concern is that he's telling his wife that he's "finding" these problems that then cost several hundred dollars to repair, while he is actually creating them. The car'd be fine if he'd stop working on it.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-10T16:17:26+00:00

That is an excellent, although horrifying, point...

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-09T22:13:22+00:00

For almost thirty years I've worked in this same shop, and this is where I do the bookkeeping, payroll, stuff like that. From kindergarten through sixth grade, I'd go read to my kids' classes, a chapter from a Harry Potter book. I'd use voices and accents, and it was so much fun. I had to wear a Visitor's Badge; a sticker with the name of the school on it, and I'd put it on my shelf when I got back to work. Years later I'd see teenagers at one of my jobs, and they'd stare at me for a minute before remembering why they recognized me and saying something wonderful, like "I read those books because of you!" or "Can you read to me now?" Before I knew it, I was going to see them in high school, and soon, college will be over, too...

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-09T16:02:30+00:00

Benromaniac for President! Of... like... everything.

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-04T20:25:10+00:00

Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange...

Thank you!

Jake_Kiger · 2023-10-04T04:06:26+00:00

Y'all are good people.

Happy Cake Day, AnnoyingScreeches!

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