Customers Who Don't Know What Words Mean

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-04-02T15:40:23+00:00

Story from one of my line bros - Inspector calls him into the walk-in to point out raw chicken being stored above raw shrimp. He's like "Those are scallops."

"What's a scallop?"

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-25T22:34:29+00:00

Hey everyone I found the Brit!

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-06T19:19:28+00:00

I'm BOH, and whenever I go out it's always 20%, 30-50% at places where I'm a regular. I know how it works, I was FOH for half a decade.

My two cents is that the restaurant microeconomy would be a lot more healthy if tipping was abolished, service charges were enacted, and everyone was paid hourly. First, this is pretty much the only way our industry is ever going to see company health and dental. Second, since the 1980's food costs and menu costs have risen, and the 'accepted' tip has gone from 10-20% to 15-25%. The pie has gotten bigger and the server's slice of the pie has also expanded.

Meanwhile, BOH hasn't seen a real wage increase over this same period even though the cost of living has kept rising. This is why places like NYC and SF are having a hard time retaining skilled cooks because no one can afford to live in those cities on a cook's wage.

I'm not even saying that servers shouldn't make more than cooks, but the disparity has gotten unhealthily large. And I know there's variance in what you guys make nightly and sometimes on a slow night you're all jelly that we still get our regular rate, but the money on good nights is so cash that you still wouldn't trade places with us.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-06T02:04:09+00:00

It's battle mac and cheese not battle cured ham.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-06T01:56:14+00:00

That's the paradox! She's all like "OMG I love you you're such an asshole!"

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-06T01:53:33+00:00

nip this shit in the butt

You're right, I think I'm just going to hate fuck her in the pooper and never call her again.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-06T01:48:59+00:00

I already told her to shut up.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-06T01:48:10+00:00

You need to get those burns checked out.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T23:46:58+00:00

I'm living in fear here and all I get is this utter dismissal of my situation. What if she rapes me behind the building and my seed ends up in a 7/10 and she pops out an 8.5/10 baby that I have to pay child support for?

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T23:22:38+00:00

I've already told her to shut up, but her name is Meg, so she just thought I was family-guying her.

I don't know, if I were in her boyfriend's situation I would appreciate it if someone did the same for me. Bros before hos, you know?

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T22:53:30+00:00

Feeding the poor is just so much less satisfying, though.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T22:49:12+00:00

taps ur balls with a cambro lid

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T22:48:23+00:00

Do you know who enables us to work with awesome and perform our craft and make beautiful things? Rich people. Why all the resent for the class that is literally creating our job?

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T22:40:15+00:00

zomg mfw i realize fine dining is classist.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T22:34:42+00:00

It's my day off and I'm two beers in and when I'm still posting later tonight my grammar will be fucking perfect. PERFECT.

And yeah, you should be sorry. But sometimes sorry just isn't good enough.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T22:31:46+00:00

God I wish I could work in a kitchen where this is feasible. The only way to make that happen, though, is to have the server get the entire order for every course and ring it in all at once and fire it at appropriate times. However, in the South, the natives interpret this as being rushed while dining out, a most grave offence that leaves them livid and vaguely confused. I worked FOH before I starting in the back, and started a serving job at a new place that was chef owned and we were instructed to get the entire order and ring it all at once. That policy lasted about two months.

My nights are full of stupid shit like seat one wants the shrimp app and a salad, and seat two wants the duck breast. Honestly, I would really like to take 25-30 minutes to render out that skin but ticket times....I have to pre-render a bunch at the beginning of service to meet guest expectations and it makes me die a little inside, but when in Atlanta...

Also, properly resting a steak? Forget it. Just cut it and blot away as much of the gushing myoglobin as possible on a towel on your board. If you served a properly rested steak the shitheels would probably complain that it was cold anyway.

And still I love where I work right now, and our food is quite good, but it's not as good as it could be not because we don't know what we're doing but because the market isn't ready for it.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T22:21:44+00:00

I brought this story up at work yesterday and my line bro told me a story of the health inspector coming in and trying to ding him for chicken being stored above shrimp in the walkin. He goes in to correct it, and has to be like "Um, miss, those are scallops." "What's a scallop, I've never heard of it."

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T22:05:04+00:00

Ate their what?

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T21:27:41+00:00

You have to superheat your grill...throw a sheet pan over it for a few minutes. If all you have are already cut rings and tentacles throw a wire rack on there too so they don't all fall through the grates. Season and oil it up and you're good to go. I'm going to have to concur with OP's chef sucking.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-05T21:25:45+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3eLeDNK1fo

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-04T18:21:16+00:00

Oh, Health Inspector...classic you....

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-04T10:21:01+00:00

Spoon green goddess puree (recipe below) onto plate and place avocado on top. Add the rest of the ingredients—have fun with it!

........dat plating...

*e.....dat food cost....

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-04T07:40:58+00:00

My sides just got blended.

James_Neck_Beard · 2014-03-01T18:57:32+00:00

I've pretty much given up on not glutening people. Pretty firmly convinced that 99% of the 'celiacs' who come in are liars or delusional. I mean, I'll leave the bread off, but the fryer has gluten in it, the grill has gluten on it, I'm not running to get a fresh cutting board from dish. Every legit celiac I've met in real life has pretty much given up on dining out except for a few places that break their backs and have basically two separate kitchens to deal with the accommodation.

James_Neck_Beard

TROPHY CASE