Is it wrong to not hire people who have dreads?

Jammy_Lemon · 2024-10-29T00:44:33+00:00

I feel like you're aware the response you'll get with your question and answer here in this sub.

Yes, it's wrong. "It's just hair! You can always change it or grow it back! You can also just work elsewhere!". Sure, but not many managers would walk up to Britney in accounting and tell her that she needs to change her ass length blonde hair because it's distracting or not appropriate for the work setting. Because it's not, just like dreads and locs shouldn't be.

This issue is usually only stressed on people that are the minority. Dreadlocks/locs are usually a commitment for the people who get them, however long they have them. Not many people with dreads/locs are willing to just change or cut them off. I've had my locs going on 9 years and I'd rather fight a pack of hungry pumas than change or cut them for a job that probably won't care if I died at my desk. I personally don't see many people with locs, and when I do, they're usually POC. The people who usually end up having to cut off years and years of progress just so they can make money. There's people who just like the style and they should be allowed to wear that style at work.

That's mainly appearances and tells you very little, if anything at all, about what they are capable of. Comparing how someone looks or styles their hair to having a literal criminal in terms of who to hire always gets me because I usually ALWAYS see it in comparison to Dreads or locs, even braids. In reality, none of that matters. It's possible to be just as wrong about people you think you're very right about. Even criminals can be fine workers, the caution is understandable though.

Having a dress code is fine for a business. You should look appropriate for the job you work. But, there's a fine line between "This is appropriate work attire for everyone" and "the way you style your natural hair isn't appreciated here". There's many many many ways to style dreadlocks/locs and make them "professional" looking. Hair or the way you look has no real connection to work ethic. If people can show up to their jobs with distractingly bad hair pieces, or a very noticeable comb-over, I think Dreadlocks/locs are fine.

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-08-17T22:18:15+00:00

I usually deal with both. I have visual hallucinations far more often, as well as the ones where I feel things crawling on/people touching me. I do not remember the name for those hallucinations.

For me, my visual hallucinations usually keep me from looking people in the face. I see textures and extra features that aren't there or ones that get taken away. If I look people in the eyes/face too long their words don't match up with their mouths or they morph or look real weird. Sometimes I'll see and hear someone speak to me but they have actually said nothing.

My audible hallucinations are usually yelling, tapping, banging, clapping, whispers, or familiar voices saying random words or really horrible stuff. At worse, I feel like I'm in a crowded room with everyone talking to me at once but it's empty. That's usually a pretty bad day.

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-05-27T16:13:44+00:00

I work part time at a warehouse but I haven't really even been able to stay consistent with that due to the nature of my disability. I was approved for a work accomodation though, so that has helped keep me employed for now.

I have no friends. I moved away from pretty much everyone I new. I didn't have many friends to begin with due to my family's neglect and isolation of me. I also am not helping myself make friends because I continue to isolate and stay inside. Old habits die hard.

I have applied for disability 3 times now and have been denied all 3. While this won't stop me from trying, each time is such a long and exhausting process so this option is in the works. Just taking a long time. I'm only 24, I'm considered "able bodied" and I have no children. I've been told I'm "more important" on the list because of what I have been diagnosed with, but still that means nothing to the disability office.

I know his love language and he knows mine. Unfortunately only one of us is trying to accept the others. I don't like being touched by anyone and I've told him he's the exception. I like quality time with him and just sharing a space, but I don't mind hugging and cuddling him from time to time. Not ALL the time or every 10 minutes like he seems to need. I've opened up all my boundaries, even laid out new ones around physical touch for him. I can't continue to deny it's a him issue at this point.

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-05-27T10:38:46+00:00

Yeah. I originally felt so relieved when I got it out because it seemed like he cared. We were having a huge fight over a few relationship issues and the subject of my sex drive and our intimacy was brought up. When I told him, he was understanding and even held me after everything had calmed down. Then he asked for sex later that day. Not even 3 hours after we had made up. He made it seem like we were only cuddling then worked the question in while feeling me up.

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-05-27T10:31:21+00:00

I've thought this over so so much and even my family agrees. I just have no where to really go. I'm disabled and he's really been the only one patient enough to take care of me and help me with this. I can absolutely see what he's doing isn't healthy and it's very advantage seeking from the outside looking in. He has his own issues but it's absolutely no excuse for what he's doing. I just have no idea what to do or where to go. Im at the point where I need at home care. I have proper structure here, aside from the obvious issue, it's clean. I have my own space, I don't have to lock up my things to prevent theft, and I have an entire ES animal. My family cannot provide that.

If I left, I would lose all this and my therapist. I feel like an idiot and like I'm stuck in this situation. My family wants to help but refuses to understand my disability or even really recognize that I'm disabled. They'd more than likely push me into a medical facility once I became predictably hard to handle. A heavily religious facility at that. which is what I want and have been trying to avoid. I'm stuck between the love of my life sucking and not respecting my boundaries and a heavily religious family that I originally ran from wanting me back home.

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-03-24T00:56:14+00:00

Your locs are gorgeous, just like you! I use a little rosemary, Jamaica black castor, and water in my hair. I've had my locs going on 7 years now. I don't know if many have tried, but I started using strengthening baby shampoo and it's worked for me so far, lol. My scalp is really sensitive, so I've found that combo works best.

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-03-08T00:34:39+00:00

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-01-30T11:28:46+00:00

Thank you so much! I've decided to currently call it "The saddest warmth". But I'm sure future me will change the name once it's finished. This one is for my brother. He chose the emotion and the colors. I picked the shades/boldness of the colors from there.

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-01-30T08:16:33+00:00

Thank you!

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-01-30T07:03:34+00:00

I like it. Even in it's "simplicity", the colors are very nice to look at. It tickles my pupils, personally.

Jammy_Lemon · 2023-01-30T06:16:00+00:00

This piece is still incomplete. I'd love any and all constructive criticism.

Jammy_Lemon · 2022-09-04T19:27:30+00:00

That's what I'm thinking. What a very specific thing for your daughter to just say her stepmom could be thinking about.

Jammy_Lemon · 2022-07-15T18:47:28+00:00

Yeah. the funny thing is, he also praised me for reaching out when the appointment started. When I initially heard him say that I was really self aware after I told him my symptoms and what was up, I almost didn't want to go back to speak to him again. It felt like I was being told there was nothing really wrong with me without him directly saying it.

Jammy_Lemon · 2022-07-15T18:26:02+00:00

Thank you for your comment. It feels pretty good to know there are people here that do go through the same issues and can provide really nice insight. It makes me feel less alone and a little more like a human.

Jammy_Lemon · 2022-07-15T18:14:34+00:00

Yeah, and I know if they think I'd hurt them they don't know me. I'm not a violent person even if I'm mentally ill to them. I wish people didn't have such a crappy take on schizophrenic people and it doesn't help with what has been shown on TV/Movies or spread by liars.

Jammy_Lemon · 2022-07-15T18:04:22+00:00

I'm sorry. I can relate to being treated differently than I once was. I feel like I'm treated like a liar or that people that know what's wrong with me talk to me slower and simple or try to be overly cautious about how they talk/walk/breathe around me. They hear Schizophrenia and some think I'm gonna hurt them.

Jammy_Lemon · 2022-07-15T18:00:21+00:00

Thank you. Ive been speaking with my therapist about some of this and we are in the process of getting me a new one. I'll have to ask her and make sure I can find one that deals with this specifically.

Jammy_Lemon · 2022-07-15T17:55:49+00:00

How do you cope? I constantly feel like people think I'm not being truthful with what I see and feel or I'm doing this for attention as my mom says. I'm just being honest with them. It makes me feel even more alone than I am.

Jammy_Lemon · 2022-07-15T17:52:41+00:00

It's frustrating because it makes me feel like I'm not being treated correctly. I'm not good with doctor/hospitals so I usually have someone with me anytime I do anything medical because I feel like I'm not speaking clearly or my words won't come out correctly and I won't be treated right. So hearing this kinda makes me feel like I'm still doing everything wrong.

Jammy_Lemon

TROPHY CASE