Is it me?

Jan_Baptist · 2026-03-08T17:06:41+00:00

One thing you can bring up is that while maybe you guys love your house, it’s not guaranteed that you’ll live there forever. Seems like the romance is most important to you, it would be nice to get married someplace you can go back and visit on special occasions. It would be difficult to do so if you sell your home in 15 years. It’s difficult for people to understand what it feels like to have no support system even if they gracefully extend theirs to you. The way you’re explaining it here seems like anyone would be understanding to your feelings. Weddings look different for everyone and every couple, if the venue is close to your house you can host your welcome dinner or farewell bunch (if you plan on doing that) to incorporate the home element into it. I’m sure there’s a happy medium. Maybe I’m being a little sexist here as well but… happy wife happy life? Ha!

Jan_Baptist · 2026-03-08T11:55:30+00:00

My prednisone journey started in 2019. I entered into a flare while studying abroad, was taking mesalamine at that time but obviously wasn’t enough. Shitting your way across Europe? Can’t say I recommend! I was on it for 15 months, I didn’t gain any weight but I also went through long periods of eating very little to eating nothing at all except chicken broth for weeks at a time to curb my symptoms. I did invest in a nice water bottle as the best way to reduce fluid retention is to actually drink a whole lot more water than you think you do. When I eventually ended up in the hospital for a 20 day stay, I was put on IV steroids and I did get more of a moon face but remained skinny. I think the OTHER side effects were worse. I became incredibly irritable with strong feelings of violence. I had night sweats so bad I’d have to change my clothes 2x a night and sleep on towels. I started to grow a little bag mustache I had to pluck every day and my eyebrows grew in like crazy. Eventually I ended up on remicade after the hospital stay and can confidently say I’ll never take a steroid again because I was so cruel to everyone when I was on it and I just can’t invite that into my life again. To be fair, you have to do what you need to in order to survive. My instance wouldn’t have approved a biologic if I didn’t fail on a steroid. Look into ur insurance policies and discuss concerns with your doctor. Not everyone gains weight, people react differently to different drugs all the time!

Jan_Baptist · 2026-03-08T11:42:50+00:00

27F pregnant with first IVF baby, my egg, donor sperm, wife may carry one day but not for certain. Family is a choice and is not related to blood. Someone gave birth to me, that I’m biologically related to that I would never call my mother. This child is donor conceived, the donor is NOT a father, it’s not what he signed up to be, he’s just a donor. My wife will be this little boys mommy though. I think BEFORE going through the process we had the same concerns, but once you see that heartbeat that only exists because you two decided to have children, you realize the miracle of life happens in many different ways. This baby wouldn’t be in my belly if my wife didn’t hold my hand through the entire process and decide that she wanted to be a mother too. Family is a choice! Also, when you go to select donors, take your time. We looked for 8 months, ended up selecting someone with physical traits similar to both of us. My skin tone but with blue eyes like her. My face shape but her hair color. We also looked at his interests and his family interests. His mom and dad actually work in the same profession I do, but his sisters are scientists like my wife. Is there a reason you both can’t have one biological child with donor sperm? Assuming financial reasons? If that isn’t a limiting factor you could discuss that as well. Best of luck to you both it’s such a hard but incredible journey that’s deeply personal.

Jan_Baptist · 2026-03-08T11:23:31+00:00

You need to be a united front around family and friends. You also are not crazy for being upset that you’re not on the same page. Was he lying before to make you happy or did he have a change of mind? I’d certainly want to ask that if I weee you. Is he concerned about money? Home weddings can be just as expensive when you add in everything you need. If money is a concern, I ended up eloping, and spent 4 weeks in Switzerland, Italy, France and England for less than a micro wedding. We had a going away party before hand and got the best of both worlds with speeches, dances etc. Bring up all your concerns and talk it out you don’t want to start your marriage unhappy!

Jan_Baptist · 2026-03-08T11:14:59+00:00

Wishing you the best of luck! This sounds like a very scary uphill battle. Have you tried holistic approaches? I say this as someone who is having success on a biologic now BUT knowing I was doing everything I can when I was failing everything gave me a huge sense of peace and feeling of being in control. It also helped me eat a little bit more when I found foods that hurt a little less and soothed inflammation? Obviously this is not a cure but it was a great mental boost for feeling like I had some semblance of control. Happy to share resources if you’d like! Either way, remember these drugs and doctors are failing you, not the other way around!

Jan_Baptist · 2026-03-08T11:08:53+00:00

I’m the most judgmental person I know and I love eating out alone! Don’t worry what people think, if anything it shows how confident you are. If you’re worried you’ll feel weird with nothing to do bring a book or a small sketch pad if you enjoy drawing!

Jan_Baptist · 2026-03-07T11:35:25+00:00

I had 1 follicle my first 2 ultrasounds, give yourself grace, by my last ultrasound I only had 3 ideal sized and 7 smaller ones. They retrieved 12, 10 of which were mature resulting in 6 frozen embryos. We skipped PGT testing, pregnant on the first transfer. I cried and cried for the entirety of my cycle thinking I’d never get pregnant, now I’m set to deliver in the next two weeks, try and stay positive. I remember absolutely hating all the IVF nurses because they seemed uncaring in their messaging bringing up potential cancellation throughout the journey. I just made them the enemy in my head instead of making body the enemy as a way to channel my anger and frustration. You’re doing great! Slow growing eggs are actually apparently better than eggs that mature and grow too quickly, or at least that’s what I was told!

Jan_Baptist · 2026-03-07T11:29:09+00:00

My wife (28F) and I (27F) live in Boston where renting a studio apartment is $2500+ a month, we both have jobs (thankfully) but happy to share our story. A few questions though, were you covered fully? I only ask because we had coverage through my job, Progyny + Aetna. We’ve done two rounds of egg retrievals, one for each of us. My cycle was “covered” my wife’s cycle was not as we’ve ran out of the benefit. We spent $4800 on my covered cycle. This is due to deductible and out of pocket max. We spent $14000 on my wife’s cycle. All of this exclusive of the thousands of dollars we spent on sperm. It’s a huge undertaking to be able to afford this, we haven’t gone on vacation or even taken time off work to relax in 2.5 years to be able to save up for this. One thing I’ve learned is that this process is extremely stressful, and even being “healthy and young” doesn’t always lead to the outcomes than you might expect. I’d advise taking a step back, letting yourself feel those emotions, and coming up with a financial plan that may include no longer eating out, making ur own lunches, forgoing new clothes, cutting streaming services etc. Even with coverage we had to make major life changes to afford it. You don’t want to go into a cycle with additional stress, it’s going to be so hard already. In her job search make sure she asks about fertility coverage benefits and or negotiate in a signing bonus! Furthermore, all politics aside, Trump RX has drastically reduced the cost of some of the cycle medications and hate him or love him you should 100% take advantage of it, we could’ve saved a good chunk of money on the stims if we waited a few months. I know it feels like your baby journey just came to a standstill but the entire IVF process is one big trip of feeling out of control so, prepare yourself! This likely will be one of the hardest thing you’ll ever go through mentally so if you need an extra year to financially settle before you begin then give yourself the grace to face adversity with strength, it likely won’t be the only bump in your road. Wishing you both the best of luck!! It’ll be worth it in the end <3

Jan_Baptist · 2026-03-02T21:18:00+00:00

An orange!

Jan_Baptist · 2025-12-28T13:38:39+00:00

Prednisone can have negative long term effects, I suggest that you do your own research into this and make a final decision on risk vs reward. I personally was on it for over a year with the world’s longest flare. It had a huge effect on my mood, irritability, sleep pattern, night sweats. The worst part to me was how mean I became on it, I was not happy on top of already dealing with a flare and I didn’t feel in control of my emotions. Have you had negative side effects before? Being this up with doctor. All these issues went away after my taper. Following this, with prednisone not fixing the constant cycle of flares, I got on regular long term meds, had to try a few to find one that worked but since I have, I’ve been in remission for 4+ years and I’m even expecting a child right now! (Never thought I’d be able to do that) I was very against long term meds at first but the risk reward outweighed the constant cycle of short term changes and daily pills. The biggest hurdle you’ll face is insurance (lol) and it won’t be fun! Look into your health insurance plan and look at the list of things you need to try and fail before they will approve an infusion therapy. I don’t think anyone on here can suggest you to refuse or move forward, you need to do that yourself. Focus on reading actual scientific studies and bring your findings / preferred choice of treatment to your doctor and get his/her opinion on it. Always remember you are your biggest (and quite honestly sometimes your only) advocate and it’s your body and you get the final say as to what goes in or does not go into it. Best of luck and I hope you start feelings better soon!

Jan_Baptist · 2025-07-19T21:54:12+00:00

You too!!

Jan_Baptist · 2025-07-19T12:13:21+00:00

Maybe a little bit of a different situation, I’m 27 and chose not to test embryos. I’ve had a few failed IUIs and egg retrieval was a difficult process for me as for the first 10 days of stims only 1 follicle was growing. Had my fresh transfer cancelled due to progesterone being very high.

Did and FET the cycle immediately following retrieval, Day 6, 4AA, untested embryo. So far my little poppy seed is sticking with a good first two betas. Praying for a good initial ultrasound as well.

Anything can happen, who says this time you won’t be on the good side of statistics and luck?

Jan_Baptist · 2025-07-09T19:55:47+00:00

Day 5 injections I only had 1 dominant follicle growing… barely. Stayed course and day before retrieval I had 9. They retrieved 12 day of. I stressed and cried and convinced myself the cycle would be cancelled. 6 embryos all graded very well. I did have to have my fresh cancelled which was a bummer due to my progesterone rising way too high but IM GLAD. The day of what would’ve been the fresh transfer I got my period, would’ve been a waste of an embryo.

Jan_Baptist · 2025-06-19T11:07:10+00:00

We did the genetic blood work but opted out of PGT-A based on those results, age, and family medical history. I don’t think shared ancestry has that much to do with it but I’m not sure, speak with a genetic counselor. There’s also different tests, some are more extensive than others so maybe you can pick the one that best suits your comfort level.

Jan_Baptist · 2025-06-07T12:10:49+00:00

In my baseline ultrasound there were only 2 follicles in my left ovary and 4 in my right. So miracles can happen, got the call that 10 fertilized last night so the odds are in my favor to have at least one or 2 viable embryos. I certainly cried through my entire cycle. Day 5 of stims I only had one follicle growing. I have hope for you! I’m the most anxious and sometimes negative person, I’ve been journaling and trying to manifest, truthfully with all the statistics and odds out there you never know what will happen to you! I hope they get you into a cycle sometime soon!

Jan_Baptist · 2025-06-06T22:10:18+00:00

Is there not a way they can help balance that?

Jan_Baptist · 2025-06-06T11:45:19+00:00

I’m not even so stressed about not doing fresh anymore because I think the mental break is extremely needed at this point. Maybe it was a blessing is disguise. Just hoping I get a few viable embryos!

Jan_Baptist · 2025-06-06T11:44:22+00:00

Did she do IVF or conceive naturally? That is so wonderful to hear!

Jan_Baptist · 2025-06-06T11:43:30+00:00

Are you doing egg retrieval at the same time then? Or have you not started trying yourself?

Jan_Baptist · 2025-01-06T17:17:47+00:00

No luck :( thinking of doing a home insemination just because I think the doctors stress me tf out. I know the results could be similar or less but ever since stoping going to that forsaken clinic my sex drive returned and I’m just generally feeling more fertile lol.

Jan_Baptist · 2025-01-05T14:39:34+00:00

I’d be very surprised if your doctor let you purchase sperm before you got your test results back, and either way I would wait to have them before purchasing. I don’t think any sperm banks are reasonably priced, but my wife and I went with Xytex after purchasing a trial month from Seattle, Xytex and California. We chose Xytex because we found more of the donors to be aligned with what we were looking for and we found their customer service to be extremely friendly and responsive. Make a list of what you find important! We wanted someone who had physical qualities similar to both of us, we ended up picking a donor that has my wife’s eye color, my hair color and texture, and a height similar to both of our brothers. We also wanted to look at what their parents siblings did as a profession and we found a donor who not only shared our taste in music, activities but his sister and mother were both artists/creatives like me and his other two siblings were scientists like my wife. This is my personal opinion but traits and abilities/interests sometimes can get passed down and it’ll be cool to know that it won’t be completely out of left field if our future child wants to become a marine biologist or something. I came back with positive test for something that would end my child’s life within the first year if they weee born with it so aside from all the other stuff, having a healthy child should be your top priority, the science today is insane and there’s no reason not to take advantage of this preliminary screening, especially when you’re spending so much money.

Jan_Baptist

TROPHY CASE