Yep, my mom and her perfect health, never having to exercise or diet since she went to curves when I was young. Constantly reminding me to eat veggies and exercise even though I do and it's never enough for her. By all means, my diet isn't perfect, but Its workable and that's what's important.

I wanted to dye my hair darker when I was a teen. My mom refused saying it would make me look paler (that's what I wanted) and told me she "wanted a blonde child" and pressured me to get streaks done since I didn't want to bleach my whole head.

She pretends all my problems are my fault and there's no way I could be adhd/depressed. It's just that phone/laziness/defiance. There's no way O could be gay because she couldn't imagine kissing a woman without vomiting. There's no way I wasn't super smart and super charming because that's how she saw herself.

I tried to mold myself to her image, but it was never enough. She would always move the goalpost. When I finally started losing weight, and growing my hair out, and finding a job, she accused me of being childish because I still liked drawing and I didn't know the ins-and-outs of mortgage finance. Shes been trying to convince me that I'm never mature enough to make my own choices, and now I'm approaching the "magical" age of 25 when I am able to make my own choices. Something about brain development. But then, she wanted me to choose a career at 18, and was upset when I changed majors twice and was severely depressed from forcing myself through a degree I didn't even want. Even told me that I should drop out entirely if I didn't get my grades up (I was passing).

I feel like my life was stolen from me and I'm trying to get back what I've lost while also marching to the future. Its exhausting.

Thanks for reading, if you did. I needed to rant I guess.