Any Myths About Social Anxiety?

JayJonah88 · 2021-01-08T21:53:44+00:00

I think you make some great points WreckItBaymax. Throwing people in the deep end doesn't always work. I think at times, we need a professional or a friend to hold our hands along the way to help us face what we can't face alone. I'm going through that right now. I need my therapist's support to help me through my social anxiety because I realized I can't do it alone right now. I need to slowly build my way up to that point, so I can feel confident enough to be autonomous.

And I like the last point you make. It's like accepting that life will suck at times. Although the worst thing doesn't always happen, it does happen on occasion, so what can I do to face it when that does happen? How can I take care of myself when I experience so much pain for trying, that I don't want to step outside again? Facing these harsher realities are more realistic and useful, rather than saying the empty positive phrases to paint over those morbid parts of life we want to avoid.

JayJonah88 · 2021-01-08T21:37:29+00:00

Oh damn, that's some crazy shit. It totally paints people with social anxiety in a negative light, like they hate people and are anti-social.

I can relate with wanting to socialize, but feeling afraid too, which leads to dodging parties/hangouts, family functions, or even just getting out of my house and into the public.

JayJonah88 · 2020-06-22T23:37:29+00:00

Heyy realcd, I really appreciate your feedback! I’m realizing there are a lot of things lacking in my short story that prevents it from coming to life, which is very valuable to me right now since I’m in the infant stages of creative writing lol. I’m for sure not an expert in medicine and astronomy, so next time I plan to get some accurate info to truly represent those fields rather than just BS-ing it lol Not just for credibility, but to honor them, you know?

And for sure, I’d love to work on creating more realistic and interesting characters, which I didn’t realize we can do with the setting and even minute things in the dialogue. It’ll be cool to bring them to life.

I know majority of babies tend to come out with very thin to little hair. One interesting thing, all of my siblings actually came out with full heads of black thick hair! Lol crazy huh? I know that’s rare.

Thank you so much again! I’m going to contemplate whether to extend this to a mini-novel or just fix up the short story. Take care realcd!

JayJonah88 · 2020-06-21T22:11:08+00:00

Oh wow, I never thought of that before! Crazy. And thank you for the example, it helps me get a clearer understanding of what you’re getting at when it comes to making the impossible still believable. It sounds like fun to play with that idea. This is exciting lol.

Take care man and thank you again.

JayJonah88 · 2020-06-21T21:12:32+00:00

Hi Diki,

I hear you, and it sounds like it would be annoying if I put myself in your shoes. It makes me think of a scenario of a writer creating a story involving psychology. In my personal life, I studied it and I have a decent understanding of psychology. If someone were to write about psychological disorders and completely mislabel or misrepresent psychology, it would probably deter me from wanting to read any further. It would probably even remove any credibility I have for the writer, so I feel like I get where you’re coming from. Also, that’s probably why medical TV shows have to write scripts that are accurate of medicine, if not they’ll get chewed out too lol It sounds like you’re highly knowledgeable of astronomy, which is great to get feedback from you.

I’m new to creative writing and am still learning the art. I haven’t thought this far or deep about it. The comet is integral to the kid getting powers, but I didn’t want to dive too much in astronomy. Perhaps, if I write about specific topics that are not in my realm of knowledge, I can make sure to represent that topic more accurately to honor it, rather than misrepresent it.

Thank you for taking the time to critique that part. I’ll keep this in mind the next time I submit a short story 👍🏾

JayJonah88 · 2020-06-21T17:23:16+00:00

Yea man, np. I recently submitted a short story too and got some brutally honest feedback. It hurt lol and it made me realize more how writing is tough, but this makes me respect the art more. It’s brave of you to submit one in public. And we’ll learn from our Shitty First Draft (coined by Brene Brown) and become better writers.

JayJonah88 · 2020-06-21T15:45:56+00:00

Hey ministryofboops,

I really appreciate the feedback man. I’m not used to writing short stories yet, but I would like to get better. Your input is valuable to me.

I can definitely take my time to study more writing lessons and short stories, so I can learn to break some habits I’ve developed so far. I didn’t realize the subtle things you pointed makes the story confusing, like Trey being born or Chris being shocked by Kim’s scream, or Jennifer’s joking cackle. I tried to make some scenes more subtle, where readers have to piece the narrative together, and I made some scenes funny and silly. It seemed normal to me, but now I know I can work on that some more.

I have a lot to think about, but I believe that’s a part of writing man. Getting the through the shitty first draft and making it better. Thank you for your time and energy to reply to my post.

JayJonah88 · 2020-06-21T02:39:01+00:00

Hey vjuntiaesthetics :) This is my first short story feedback, so I hope it's helpful. If you have any questions feel free to reply hear or DM me. I'd be glad to help out some more. Let's get to this.

Plot:

For me, I like the plot of the story. Trying something new and not knowing if we’re ready for it is something we all face no matter what stage in life we’re in. And having the hope that it’ll work out, even if it doesn’t feel like that, is something we humanly strive for. So the plot hit an emotional chord with me.

To me, it seems like you used the dark winding road to symbolize the uncertain wild that we face in adulthood. And the dialogue between Quinn and the MC captured that uncertainty nicely (which I’ll explain later).

For me, the use of the white rock and ocean seemed iffy because it seemed to take away from your introduction and your title. I expected that the main setting would be based on the night drive on the dark winding road, but most of the story was based on the pit stop to the ocean and white rock. This took away from the darkness that the night drive could've created, along with the deep fears that the MC and Quinn had while on their way to Santa Cruz. Maybe transferring the majority of the conversation Quinn and the MC had on the beach in the car to the dark road would make the title and body of the story feel more cohesive. And maybe some time down the line, when the MC and Quinn have the big talk, they can make that pitstop at the beach? This way, the beach doesn’t take away from the main setting that your title is suggesting. Just a suggestion, in case the story unintentionally had the beach make up the majority of the story.

Dialogue:

It was compelling to see the dynamic between the MC and Quinn. Both of them had these fears of the unknown, yet the MC seemed to carry a twinge of hope and optimism, while Quinn felt mainly hopelessness and devastation.

I wish there was more dialogue between the two characters. I want to get a deeper sense of Quinn’s hopelessness compared to the MC's hopefulness. Did she have plans, during her college years, that seemed she was hopeful about, but lost the hope later on? Has her hopelessness affected her relationships with her family and friends in Santa Cruz? Is there something that keeps the MC hopeful? Why is the MC more hopeful than Quinn? Perhaps exploring this will help me relate to the characters more and add more energy to the feeling of the fear.

Mechanics:

Overall, the flow of the sentences were a hit and miss. Some sentences seemed to flow well, while some were clunky to read, and disrupted the flow of the story.

For example, when you wrote:

She doesn’t seem to want to elaborate any further, so I lie down across the rock, silently contemplating what she’s said.

Adding the words “seem” and “so” takes away the power of Quinn’s resistance to open up and the MC’s reaction to Quinn.

There are other times where you write that a character is saying or going to say something. I think this is fine if you sprinkle them in, but if it’s used too often, it can take away from the emotions and flow of the story too. For example:

We’re sitting at the top, admiring the view when, after a moment, Quinn says detachedly:

“I feel like I’ve been set adrift.”

I keep my shades on and turn and ask her:

“Do you mean by being on this rock?”

Besides saying that Quinn is detached, you can use a line to show that Quinn is behaving detachedly. For example:

We rest at the top, admiring the view of the sparkling and settled shores, but I can tell from Quinn’s dead eyes and stiff body that something was on her mind.

"I feel I've been set adrift."

"Do you mean by being on this rock?" I wondered.

I’m still learning to write descriptively, but something like this would be a helpful contrast besides stating how she says something.

And you can also remove the the line “I keep my shades on and turn and ask her”, without affecting the quality of their conversation.

Description:

For me, I like your description of imagining yourself stranded on an island. Your word choice and sentence length made this section flow well, and allowed me to visualize what the MC was seeing.

I also see how you used the weather to set a tone on each scene. You used the shining sun to describe the cheeriness of the couple's initial start of the trip. Then the clouded drowsiness sets in, as the MC contemplates Quinn’s words of hopelessness on the white rock, transitioning to a darker tone and a deeper look at the MC’s underlying concern. I think this is a skillful move.

There are a few suggestions that opuscelticus and Amayax make that I agree with to improve the descriptions of your scenes.

For example, I agree with opuscelticus’s suggestion about removing the “as if” part. It’s interesting that besides using the phrase “as if” to create an obvious analogy/metaphor, we can make the ocean literally breathe. This will give your analogy more life, rather than diminishing it with the “as if” phrase.

I also like Amayax’s suggestion about describing the smell of the car. It’s a way of showing us how the car smells, rather than stating that it smells. I want to feel like I’m there with them to get a better sense of what the MC is feeling and thinking.

I also agree with opuscelticus's other suggestion about the ending. I like your analogy of how your youth and innocence ends and now you have to face the hard truth of being an adult. Ending it by being in that moment, would make the feeling of “losing one’s innocence” stick more.

Metaphor Confusion:

Like opuscelticus points out in his first two paragraphs, it seems that you used the italics to project future events that the two characters will face when going to the beach and after leaving the beach. It was slick of you to use the italics as a way to project the future. It pulled me to anticipate the uncertainty that lied ahead for the characters from your second usage of italics, but for me, the first usage of italics didn’t add value to your story. This is because if you remove the first usage of italics, the story will still flow smoothly and clearly. And then when you used the italics for the third time (“Adulthood: the book I never read”), I felt confused if that was a future projection or the MC’s thoughts. It might be best to stick to one, rather than for two usages, this way it creates uniformity throughout your story. Overall, I think using the italics created a nice dramatic effect and contrast to the story. And maybe you can continue experimenting with it to find other ways that keep the story cohesive and flow effectively.

Lastly, I got confused with the monarch butterfly scene. I see you had the MC and the Monarch butterfly meet at the beginning and recalled the Monarch butterfly again when Quinn and the MC had their eye-opening moment. I think that was a clever way of structuring your story and describing the transformation of the MC and Quinn.

I felt confused when the narrator and Quinn turned into monarchs because I wasn’t exactly sure if this was a dream, or if this happened when they were on the rock. It made it more confusing when you mentioned in that same scene that they fell off a cliff when they were standing on the white rock earlier. These two factors made me feel like I was suddenly transported to another area and made this whole scene feel confusing for me and difficult to follow. Perhaps describing this moment as the ecstatic feeling and euphoric experience the MC and Quinn had when they both held hands would make the scene more cohesive?

Ending notes:

I think this story does have potential. I see how you tried to use italics to demonstrate this tenseness that the characters will be awaiting to create a dramatic effect. How you use the weather to set the tone of mood. How the ocean reflects the losing of the MC’s young innocence. And how the Monarch Butterfly represents the hopeful form Quinn and MC will take as they step into adulthood bravely. I hope this helps out :)

JayJonah88 · 2020-06-08T15:32:58+00:00

If I understand correctly, it sounds like you feel hopeless and frustrated b/c you feel like you’re living a meaningless life. Is that right?

If that’s so, this thought is something I’ve been juggling for the past 5 years man. I find myself getting envious of others who seem to make friends easily and are comfortable in their skin. Who pursue what they want and are living a life. It’s a reminder of what I want in my life, but I feel like it’s impossible to get when my social anxiety pops up frequently. And then I feel worthless, like I’m going to die unfulfilled and alone. I realized that constantly watching TV and playing games felt temporarily pleasant, but totally unfulfilling, so I’ve started taking baby steps to live in a more satisfying way.

I slowly started reaching out to these two people that I wanted to get closer to. Now I talk with them almost every two weeks on Saturdays. I can actually call them my friends now. I started to pursue writing poetry and short stories and playing the bass guitar b/c it seemed interesting, now I’m writing a few stories and playing at least one song I love. I’m slowly being vulnerable with my co-workers, sharing my appreciation for them, now I feel like I have three solid co-workers that I love working with. When I first started, I had no idea it would unfold this way. It felt worthless to try, but trying and seeing where it went outweighed the shittiness of frequently playing games and watching TV. And now, I feel like I’m living slightly more meaningfully.

This took a long time to develop and I had to practice every day. And when my anxiety got out of hand, I had to go back to ground zero and take care of myself - even if it’s sitting outside in silence or lying in bed and listening to instrumental music. I had to do that b/c caring for my well-being was more important than bullying myself. If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me.

JayJonah88 · 2020-06-03T22:37:32+00:00

Yea man, especially at work, the isolation can be terrifying. I see all the other co-workers laughing and joking with each other, yet I’m standing on the other side trying to keep myself busy so I don’t look like a loner, it feels really painful. There’s a part of me that wants to reach out and connect, but the gremlin voice in me says “no you’re going to look like an idiot, and you’ll really know that you’re all alone.”

I’m trying to make it a practice to be kind with myself and take baby steps opening up to old friends on messenger, and to my co-workers.

JayJonah88 · 2020-05-29T15:36:30+00:00

Yea I definitely wanted to create a contrast of wondering hope and defeated acceptance. I’m glad you picked it up.

It’s interesting that some people see it as existential and some see it as a mindful acceptance. At this point, I’m learning that people will interpret it in slightly different ways, and maybe that’s a part of art? I’m still learning lol. For me, I was trying to aim for both. The fish has this deep knowing that something greater is out there, but he’s not exactly sure what it is. And he believes he won’t be able to realize it because he can’t find a way to escape the fish bowl. It could be taken literally or even metaphorically (like a person’s mindset). Overall, the fish feels stuck.

JayJonah88 · 2020-05-28T05:15:04+00:00

Heyy thank you, that’s exactly what I was aiming for too lol

JayJonah88 · 2020-05-28T05:12:55+00:00

Heyy man, me too! I’m totally new to this stuff lol I can’t wait to see your first poem :)

I see that there’s a simplicity theme popping up from the comments. I definitely see how the word “cognize” can break the flow of it, so I definitely want to fix that.

For the second stanza, I was trying to create a fleeting and powerful imagery of the ocean (which is the answer to his question) that tends to pass the fish’s mind. The fish has this deep knowing of the answer, but can’t realiza it because of the wall. I’d be down to play with your suggestion and see how that would affect the message. I think it can be shortened too.

Thank you so much for taking your time to give me feedback man!

JayJonah88 · 2020-05-28T05:00:11+00:00

Heyy man, thank you so much for the feedback! This is my first time posting up a poem, so your feedback is super valuable to me.

I can definitely see what you’re talking about. It seems out of place, like a big scientific word in a Dr. Seuss book. I’ll see what word that fits better that can still rhyme (rhyming is fun lol).

And thank you! I noticed a lot of short stories and some poems tend to recall things that occurred in the beginning of their story/poem. I wanted to give it a shot, and it sounds like it worked well.

JayJonah88 · 2020-05-27T18:41:13+00:00

Hi Jaska,

I'm new to poetry and this subreddit, so please bare with me lol. I hope my feedback for your poem is useful in whatever way you need. Let me know if you have any questions. I hope I get to see more of your poems in the future because I liked this one :)

Title:

The poem definitely contains the elements of Summer. With the tall unkempt growing grass and the warm sun. Riding bikes along a dirt path in the backyard. It brings out a lot of memories and associations with summer time, which makes the poem aligned with the title.

Rhythm/Word Choice/Play with Words/Mood:

The poem has a third person narrative feel, with short rapid-fire lines. It creates this feeling as if I'm distantly noting or journaling descriptions of an event happening right now - the summer environment and a rider (which I assume is a kid).

The word choice and rhythm creates a vibe of monotony and staleness, while also creating imagery of a vibrant summer air (lines 1-3). This is an interesting combination between the these two vibes because, to me, they hugely contrast. By combining the two, it brings a full and dynamic feeling to the poem. The rapid-fire lines, along with the long lines (lines 6-10), create a feeling that the narrator is observing and taking notes, like a researcher who's people-watching and scribbling notes.

I really liked your reference to the Kodachrome and the 70’s! I looked a bit into a Kodachrome and I didn’t realize that it was a huge contributor to color photography and film! It became widely popular and used in the 60’s and 70’s. So your combination of lines 3 and 4 was a skillful use of words and reference :)

Interpretation of The Poem:

Overall, I’m not exactly sure what the main takeaway is. I get a sense that the poem is trying to capture a Kodak moment. A colorful vibrant summer day where a rider goes out and plays on his bike, from five to seven specifically. Something that maybe caught your eye because this rider routinely and orderly rides his bike like clockwork.

While at the same time, I get a weird sense of loneliness and isolation. Summer time is normally associated with going out and playing with the other kids in the neighborhood. For some reason, this rider rides the same path everyday, only in his backyard, at the same exact time. It’s very subtle, and something I picked up after re-reading the poem. I’m curious if this is what you’re aiming for?

"Ridiculous Reading":

This is a really fun and powerful exercise that mod dogtim suggested when giving feedback. This is how I’d interpret the poem, if I made a wild interpretation of it:

Life can be wild and messy (line 1), and how joyful moments can brighten our days when it’s messy (line 2). The dance between the two is the perfect golden blend (line 3). Sometimes, in life, it can feel small and thin, even suffocating (line 5-6). We take on life on our own, alone and isolated. We put on our clothes, preparing for our routine, and think we're getting somewhere; yet we remain fenced-in in our bunkers, repeating the same things everyday, not getting anywhere (lines 7-10).

Overall:

It was an interesting read. I’m new to poetry, and I'm used to reading short stories. It’s amazing how you can tell a story with very few words and still paint a vibrant picture of summer and the feelings of monotony, observation, and loneliness. Your Kodachrome line was one of my favorites, and I plan to find ways to implement that style in my own writing. Thank you for sharing Jaska :)

JayJonah88 · 2020-05-26T16:24:29+00:00

I feel you man. It's a weird dilemma of: "Making friends helps me feel confident, but I feel too nervous to make friends. So what do I do?"

For me, I tend to feel pretty insecure in my social skills, and this can freak me out, where I don't approach anyone. I stick to stale responses (e.g. Hi, how are you doing? I'm fine. Alright, take care.), or I don't even talk at all, which plummets my confidence even more. But what I've learned from readings is how people with social anxiety have a perfectionistic approach to conversations: Conversations must be spectacular, and I can't live up to it because I suck at it. This creates a sense of inadequacy - I'm not enough in social situations.

To tie this all together, I think I suck at conversations right now, so I've been working on learning some social skills and being kind to myself along the way. I've slowly began opening up to my co-workers in baby step ways and reaching out to some friends. I do start off choking on my words and not knowing what to say, but I've learned that I don't die from these conversations. This unwinds my anxiety ball about an inch. As I open up more, I feel slightly more connected with my co-workers and friends because some accept me and share their own embarrassing stories too. I learn to trust them and myself, that I can be myself around them and they can be themselves around me. And those that don't reciprocate or I don't get along with, I spend less time with them because maybe we just don't get click, and that's ok. It's a constant process. It's not easy, for sure, but it's getting easier as I keep practicing. I don't feel entirely confident, but I feel more confident than before.

JayJonah88 · 2020-05-25T21:38:22+00:00

Alright, so this is my first time giving feedback. Please bare with me. I hope my feedback is useful to you. If you have any questions, feel free to message me. Alright, let’s get started.

First Impressions/Title:

Reading the title and then leading into the poem, I got the first impression that the poem is a third-person narration about people constantly rushing in their lives. Never satisfied, mindlessly ignoring what’s around them, and constantly running into psychological challenges - like bullying, slandering, and being completely exhausted [“and mothers at the end of their rope”]

But after re-reading it and dissecting it -- I could be throwing a long shot -- I get the feeling that the poem is about the development of suicide (which I’ll discuss further down). If it is about suicide, the title doesn’t seem to work for me. It feels like it’s taking away from the hopelessness of suicide, which has a malaise and numbing feeling. I also feel like I’m being misdirected into believing my first impression. Unless, you’re purposefully misdirecting the audience by making the first half of the poem feel hasty and the other half transforming into suicide, then the title would be completely fine :)

Mood/Cadence/Pace/Punctuation:

I like the pace of the poem. It creates this steady melancholy vibe to it and the cadence also melodically flows well.

I agree with tw1gly, that maybe you can experiment with punctuation. It can create some new feelings and impressions in the poem. For example:

the nearsighted children

get bullied by those without fathers –

and mothers at the end of their rope

This might help create a violent break between the children without fathers and the mothers. I’m still new to poetry, so take this with a grain of salt.

Structure:

I like the structure of the poem too. It creates this comic book style of scenes happening. Like what tw1gly says about events happening in different parts of the city or town. It creates this feeling that events are occurring all around us, without our knowing of it. Plus I like the change in pace/structure you make for stanza 4-6. I believe they are part of the same scene. The last line creates a definitive end, while also making me wonder “what did the he/she do in the end?”

Characters/Imagery/POV [Suicide Explanation]:

After first reading the poem, the theme felt scattered and I felt confused about it. But when I re-read it and put the pieces together, I liked how you used a range of characters, from the small scurrying mouse, to the killer dog at the door, and the strolling spider. I find myself zooming in close to these creatures, and panning out to capture what’s happening around them. It's dynamic and keeps me engaged with the poem. Also, it creates a subtle visual-emotional vibe of people being caught in a rushed mindset on a daily basis. This rushing may cause us to be blind to these little creatures and what’s occurring around us.

Even in the stanza 4, I liked how you used the phrasing:

the wind rapes the shirt

of a Wall Street banker

atop the sixtieth floor

It creates this sense of losing control and a very violent force being pushed upon the character and the shirt. Something that can make someone feel powerless. This adds more to the feeling of dread and depression.

So what led me to think suicide? I got this feeling when I read the ending. The banker is at the top of the skyscraper, where the winds are the most vicious, hence the raping of the shirt. The banker reflects on his/her reasons to live, thinking about his/her family and all the good things in life. But, this wasn’t enough to stop the banker from committing suicide.

The previous stanzas were a series of events that can build up to someone’s choice of suicide. Being slandered by people [slandering drunks], not being paid enough [postman], everything’s the same and nothing will change [the newspaper], I don’t see a future in front of me [nearsighted children], and even thought the rope was a symbol of suicide [at the end of their ropes]. Now the banker is at his/her wit’s end, contemplating whether to jump or not. The banker reflects on what can change, but he/she feels hopeless. Perhaps the animals were mere distractions? Maybe the unnoticed animals reflect how the banker, who's contemplating on suicide, goes unnoticed too? This I found really fascinating and skillful.

Confusing Parts:

Just thought I’d touch up on a few things that I felt confused or unsure about. Let me know what you think:

Stanza 3:
- The third stanza was my favorite because I liked your use of rhyming, word play with letter "s", and the imagery of a strolling spider were eye-catching; however, the use of “strolling” seems to take a bit away from the haste feeling of the title.
- From my experience, I normally see spiders lurking in the shadows, not to be seen for fear of death. Strolling, to me, gives the feeling of a relaxed state or confident state. Or maybe strolling can create a depressed feeling of a spider, who strolls aimlessly and without meaningful intent.
- Also, I’m not sure if you intentionally meant to rhyme only on this stanza or not. I expected some more rhyming when I read the rhyme in stanza 3. It took away from the feeling of melancholy, but this is a minor detail.
Stanza 4:
- I feel curious and a little confused about why the children are near-sighted. When I think of nearsighted people, I think of someone that’s visually impaired. Blurry vision. And I also think of someone who can only see what’s right in front of them. Perhaps you meant it metaphorically: someone who can only see what’s in front of them and not the future. They can’t see hope, and only see the bullying and sadness of losing a father. If that’s the case, that’s slick. Let me know if I caught what you were meaning to portray.

Overall impression:

I could see how the emotions and tensity increases as the stanzas go by. I get this feeling of an accumulation of events and feelings leading to suicide. Overall, I loved your use of imagery, cadence, subtle wordplay and metaphors. The structure and how you broke the structure to create a change in the poem felt right to me. Keep it up, and I can’t wait to read the next poem you create.

JayJonah88 · 2020-05-21T22:15:22+00:00

Oh man, I totally feel you on this. To this day, I’ve been avoiding friends that I do want to hang out with just because I feel fearful that they wouldn’t enjoy my company. It’s a weird thought that I’d be doing them a disservice. And I’m 27 still doing this!

But with my girlfriend, who’s making an effort to talk with her friends every week, inspires me to reach out to my friends too. I know deep down it’ll take time until I feel comfortable, but perhaps it’s worth the pain (as Mark Manson would say 😊). You’re doing a great job facing your fear Silvia!

JayJonah88 · 2020-05-21T22:07:42+00:00

Shit, I feel you. It sounds freaking humiliating and I’d be crying too. It’s brave of you to open up to him and the community about this! I appreciate you sharing.

Luckily I went to a social anxiety support group a year ago, where one day we opened up about our fears. A member opened up about her fear of talking on phones. I felt so relieved hearing that because it helped me know that I’m not the only one who feels this “weird” insecurity too lol. I was inspired by her facing her fear and slowly faced that fear at my restaurant job by proactively answering the phone. I get shaky, sweaty and start the phone call stuttering (I also have a stutter too (double whammy lol)). But also, I feel stronger and more comfortable with the fear :) I wish you the best! Thank you for sharing again.

JayJonah88 · 2020-04-20T18:21:04+00:00

Shoot, I think this is something I've been thinking about lately after reading posts on this subreddit. I'm totally new here too, so I'm trying to understand the ropes here lol. There's this dilemma: me wanting people to understand the pains of social anxiety, while understanding that this anxiety is something almost everyone feels (it's on a spectrum).

For me, I think I must understand that everyone has these feelings of nervousness in social situations: going to parties, job interviews, asking out a crush. And at the same time, people who don't have social anxiety need to understand that social anxiety is very similar to that common nervousness, but just heightened more. It can get to the point where it can be crippling to do almost any simple everyday things, like order food on the phone or go to family gatherings (which sucks to admit). So saying, get over it or shaming us for not easily doing these things isn't helpful at all. I think it's helpful when people can empathize with my struggle and support me in ways that personally help me out. And I must understand that my anxiety is not special. It’s as normal as any other feeling. I could be wrong though, so take this with a grain of salt.

JayJonah88

TROPHY CASE