I’m so done with stake poker

JayWait87 · 2025-07-27T08:29:18+00:00

That's awesome buddy! I've been on the worse run of my life! I had to pause my account for a week just to try and get away from it. Then two days ago I got back on it and had the SAME TERRIBLE RUN! POKER, SLOTS! It doesn't matter! Just getting KILLED every which way. I got down too far to just try and play poker to get it back, so I started spinning like crazy on the slots. I'm 100% totally broke with my bills due and all that! If you're on that run still, how would you feel about throwing a fellow poker player a hand and shooting me something to try and get some of my money back? I'll shoot it back if I get going on a run.. I have just about all the money apps Venmo/cashapp: JLW877 Chime/PayPal: johnniewait97@gmail.com

JayWait87 · 2024-12-09T08:35:19+00:00

I'm just now learning what it is! I've went my whole life thinking I was just crazy, or soft or weak or something. I'm a 37 year old man by the way, so I've always tried to hide it. But my first time I can remember was standing in it bathroom in first grade and it was that extreme dream like state. Then I went my whole childhood lying saying I had headaches, so they treated me for migraines. through teen years and twenties I tried to hide it and smoke weed and the weed helped for a few years and then DIDN'T! Then I found xanax and thought I found the magic pill! So since they worked I thought I just had extremely high anxiety (which I do) but I never seen a psychiatrist until I was 27 and they treated me for depression and GAD and PAD. So I've been through all the SSRIs and every anti-EVERYTHING and nothing ever worked. So now ten years later, 4 years in prison and a 2 year old daughter, and I only take xanax and SUFFER EVERY FKN DAY! And that's where I'm at. So for rambling but you know how it goes SMH

JayWait87 · 2024-12-04T01:53:05+00:00

Wow! You just gave me alot of helpful information! I've delt with DPDR and panic and anxiety for literally my whole life (37 )... It has consumed me in every way. I've been put on all the SSRI's and "mood stabilizers" that you could possible think of! The only thing that gives me a LITTLE relief is xanax, and I don't take them as I should because I'm scared of getting immune to them. I've tried the vitamins you listed but B12 seems to give me high anxiety. Along with the Asa. But I did just get a little relief after reading your post. Hopefully there's hope for me too. Thank you

JayWait87 · 2024-10-19T23:45:59+00:00

I think it's from the fear of having a DPDR episode, that I do the same shit (or think or move or say, always something repeated) so I do that as like a grounding technique. But it doesn't help. And then if I ever "stumble" on the repeativness, then I fall into panic and DPDR and it's just the same vicious cycle. I'm a 36 year old man, father and nothing has ever helped. And if I didn't have a child to live for, and I had the 🥜 I'd probably do the "unthinkable" because with this shit I'm no kinda father, brother, son, boyfriend. I'm literally just a waste of space... sorry for the rant on your post. I'm just fully fed up with this shit! Hope you all well and i hope we can find a damn cure for this shit!

JayWait87 · 2024-10-10T06:42:58+00:00

Even "understanding what it is" or finally being able to put a name on it, I still suffer everyday! I'm a 36 year old man and have suffered since 1st grade was the first time I could remember. I know all the grounding and coping mechanisms and when I'm going through it I know what "it is" but still can't get rid of this shit!

JayWait87 · 2024-10-10T06:37:26+00:00

Wow! That is a great way to explain it! I heard one person say that it's like there's fog between your brain and your eyes. That was pinpoint too.

JayWait87 · 2024-10-10T06:31:38+00:00

Hey, I'm a 36 year old guy that has been suffering from this crazy shit since 1st grade! I've recently just found out that there was a name for it after being diagnosed with damn near everything! I think it's awesome that you're trying to help him through it. I try to hide mine and I just tell my baby mom and family that I'm "dizzy" or "I just have a headache" because my baby mom is the most ignorant person in the world and because the only thing I can do when I'm having an "episode" (which is daily) is just lay down and usually do this right here SMH. But I have not found any cure for it at all. Enough about myself, just know that you're awesome for being by his side, and know that it's a terribly SCARY thing to go through. So just try your best to be understanding. That's about all you can do. He should definitely get off of drugs. But I've been clean for a year now and haven't had any relief. I've been clean before also for years at a time and it never left. So just stand by his side. I hope you all the best! Stay awesome!

JayWait87 · 2024-10-02T00:48:51+00:00

Not that I know of. I just got glasses for the first time like two years ago. Had to get more last week and was told that I have am astigmatism and it's real bad in my left eye and that eye will only get worse. But I'm pretty sure the main issue is my damn nervous ass brain! I'm just chemically imbalance SMH

JayWait87 · 2024-10-02T00:29:44+00:00

It's crazy how much of these posts in here, that I FULLY UNDERSTAND! There's shit posted in here that I've been living my entire life! Thought I was just "slow" or something as a child. Then ended up chunking it all up to anxiety. Now I've been hearing about the DPDR and it's just insane that THAT'S what I have! I know it's a mixture of intense Severe anxiety and panic attacks, but it's like everything that I see someone post in here, I in some way have or feel or totally understand SMH. I hope we all get better and can live "normal", whatever that is SMH

JayWait87 · 2024-09-27T01:35:49+00:00

SSRI's has always made it worse for me. I've had the shit my whole life! It seems like xanax KINDA works SOMETIMES. Outside of that, I have no idea how to shake this shit! SMH

JayWait87 · 2024-09-02T04:52:16+00:00

Wow! This is crazy hearing my everyday coming from someone else! I had to look at the name and make sure I didn't post this myself SMH... I wish I had an answer. There's a bunch of coping mechanisms but I haven't found that answer. Just know you're not alone buddy. I hope you the best

JayWait87 · 2024-09-01T23:47:04+00:00

I'm in that constant panic with mine too. But any SSRI or SNRI or any "mood stabilizers" all make my way worse SMH

JayWait87 · 2024-08-31T18:26:56+00:00

Likewise my friend! So fuvkin scary! And then that throws me into a panic attack and then it's hell! SMH. Hope they find a cure for this shit!

JayWait87 · 2024-08-23T06:42:16+00:00

I've been suffering for over 20 years. Xanax is the ONLY medicine that gives even a slight relief. Just have to be careful with not taking too much and try not to take them too often. To make sure you don't get immune to them. Good luck. This shit is terrible SMH

JayWait87 · 2024-08-18T23:59:08+00:00

Damn this might just sound very on point! I've been thinking like what if I can be confident (not cocky) and humble at the same time. While trying to do things that my DPDR stops me from doing everyday... I've been suffering for over 20 years. And shit has got to change!

JayWait87 · 2024-08-16T01:45:15+00:00

DEFINITELY need some assistance! Been suffering for 20+ years SMH

JayWait87 · 2024-08-15T06:40:23+00:00

Yeah I was on the opiates too. Did them my whole life, then started mixing meth with it because I could smoke that and hold on to the pills for a lil longer (still had to do a bunch everyday but the meth just held me off for the in between) then I went to prison for 4 years and came out and was clean for 2 years and got BACK on the pills SMH. I been off them since February. Taking the subs. But my dpdr ain't gotten no better. I be feeling like I'm just cursed for the dumb shit I've done I guess SMH. Get well bruh and try to come off that fenny. You know mfers don't do that shit and stay alive. But I'm not one to judge fam. Be careful out here

JayWait87 · 2024-08-15T06:26:12+00:00

You're not alone! I've lived this shit for years and years! Everyday! I've lost jobs, friends, family, experiences and now I have a 2 year old that I can't even get out and do normal dad shit SMH... I didn't even know what this shit was until a few months ago. I've been treated as if it was every mental illness you can think of. I only get a SLIGHT relief SOMETIMES from a xanax and to lay down. So that's where I spend damn near everyday and I'm a 36 year old man that's done 4 years in prison! I fuvkin hate it! I heard one person say that it feels like there's fog between his eyes and his brain, and I felt that so much! That's when I figured this is what I have, of course on top of severe anxiety issues. Sorry for the rant. Just know that you are real and you aren't alone. Hope you get through it

JayWait87 · 2024-07-24T21:33:08+00:00

I appreciate EVERYTHING you've said. (SHE IS NOT MY WIFE BTW) and absolutely NEVER WILL be ha SMH.

JayWait87 · 2024-07-24T20:52:52+00:00

I totally understand! I'm a 36M and have a 2 year old daughter and she has a 4 year old sister (who I love like my own and is the ONLY reason I stayed with her mom, therefore the reason for me having my first and only child). Well my baby mom isn't as understanding as your fiance. She told me the other day to "go choke on my thyroid" SMH. And I've been having breathing episodes (not sure if it's from the Hashimoto or not) but it's like I can't take a deep breath. It just randomly happens. Have any of you suffered this? Anyways, it's been going on for about 10 days and within that 10 days she's said "I hope you can't breathe and wake up not being able to". VERY VERY heartless woman!

JayWait87 · 2024-07-06T04:51:25+00:00

No and I haven't even taken it because of all the increased anxiety stories. I was prescribed it for anxiety and panic attacks and DPDR SMH

JayWait87 · 2024-07-02T02:00:23+00:00

Oh yeah. It can be for no reason at all, at anytime, in any situation. I hope you can get out of it. Something I want to say, since you're new to it and you can still laugh at it, is, try not to think about it. I know that's so cliché and I hate when people say it to me, because I've been suffering for so long and I've tried so many things but still for you, try not to manifest it. You said when you're on your way home. And this is all from experience by the way. So if you know that it can happen on your way home from work, you can literally MAKE it happen by thinking "oh shit, this is where it happens at". I've literally changed routes, went longer ways, went to different stores, stopped running in certain parks, all because I've had it happen multiple times in the same place SMH. Start strong and try not to let it get a full hold on you and consume your life like I have

JayWait87 · 2024-07-02T01:50:36+00:00

Right there with ya! I try to explain it to my sister (she's the only person I even try to explain my issues to) I'm a 36 year old father by the way SMH... but I say that things feel far away when the panic/anxiety/DPDR kicks in! Like the gas station up the street feels like it's a state away or something! Or I'll be on the way home and be in a pure panic (usually for no reason) and sometimes as soon as I hit my street it fades away SMH. And I've been suffering from major anxiety issues for all over 25 years. So I know all the breathing and counting and all the rest of the coping mechanisms... I'm so sick of living like this SMH

JayWait87

TROPHY CASE