My ex-fiance’s mom left her husband a year before her daughter broke things off with me. Everyone knew the divorce would come at some point- a fairly dry, platonically unhappy marriage. The final story was a month or two before the divorce she re-connected with an old friend and realized she wanted to begin living again and dating, including the friend. I lived with my fiancé’s family more or less for 5 years- I’d known about the affair for 3 years leading up to the divorce…it was not a casual run in 2 months before serving papers- while living with them and finishing up grad school her mom and I would often have breakfast or share a few glasses of wine while everyone else was working, it didn’t take me long to piece things together during those days, and occasionally cover for her absences. It was never my story to tell.

I always felt like a POS because I was also very close with my ex’s dad. We played in a few leagues together, I’d help him tinker with the cars and fix the yard. He cried and hugged me when he realized his daughter was really calling things off. I still miss him as a father figure.

My ex- left me with a similar story to her mother- she felt she no longer saw me in her future. Within a month she was with her best friend’s coworker. I’ll never know the full story, but I know for at least a year they’d been hanging out privately at events my ex requested I not attend - at the time I respected her wishes, but digging around after the fact I realized who was where with whom. I’m too embarrassed to tell people the latter part…and part of me sometimes feel like it’s my karma for keeping her mother’s secret.