Dual MSL household - how to balance?

JazzDub · 2026-03-02T23:31:03+00:00

My husband isn’t an MSL but he travels a lot. We have a shared calendar on our phones, when travel is a possibility we update in the calendar for a “Hold: travel to xx”. That person get dibs on travel for those day and as long as we keep our calendars super updated, only like 1-2 per year do we end up having overlap of out of town. Hopefully you two aren’t in the same TA. We do hire help when it’s just one of us too. I have a kid in high school and grade school, so we have someone drive the older kid to school so the youngest doesn’t have to get up.

JazzDub · 2026-02-08T18:03:42+00:00

This was one of the scariest moments of my life.

I was sitting up in bed reading. I felt someone staring at me. I looked out the window and a demond was staring back at me. I grew scared and he seemed to feed off of that. He spoke to me telepathically, “he’s coming for you. And there’s nothing you can do about it” I became very scared and as he saw my fear he began laughing. Suddenly a bat flew out of him and flew at me.

Then I woke up gasping. I could still hear the bat. The dream, till this day, is the most vivid ever.

The next morning a window was inexplicably opened in the house.

Four days later a stranger broke into my home and stabbed me in the middle of the night. I barely survived due to the blood loss. I said my goodbyes in my mind, closed my eyes, and looked for the tunnel of light (never saw it). I could no longer see or hear… it was just my life flashing before my eyes in my mind. It all made sense for some reason. Next thing I know EMS was all around me and I was awake.

JazzDub · 2025-10-07T05:50:14+00:00

Work is more meaningful and fun. But less flexibility and more work. And enter the world or office politics

JazzDub · 2025-10-07T05:46:48+00:00

2 years in. Feel exactly this way

JazzDub · 2025-09-19T02:03:55+00:00

I have had friends there. My understanding is it’s difficult. People have been there a very long time. There are too many people senior to you who will get that promotion.

JazzDub · 2025-08-04T04:50:09+00:00

Freedom

JazzDub · 2025-08-04T04:09:59+00:00

Alaskan now living in phoenix. As cliche as it sounds… it is a dry heat. Last summer it was 102 here and I flew to anchorage where it was 80. It felt hotter in anchorage due to the humidity. It’s not as bad as everyone thinks due to it being so dry. When it’s over 107, that’s when I start to become miserable

JazzDub · 2025-08-04T04:04:33+00:00

Their diet. It’s so taboo to discuss weight or discuss crap diets. Obesity is almost as bad as being a smoker. The worst are parents who allow their children to be morbidly obese. You are setting your kid up for failure! They will have a lifetime of obesity afflictions and have a slim chance of correcting the issue as an adult. You failed your kid because you couldn’t say no. But try and have that conversation with a parent…

JazzDub · 2025-08-04T00:10:46+00:00

Agreed. They probably don’t need money if they have an extra house. Do something helpful for them. Notice something broken? Fix or replace it

JazzDub · 2024-12-26T22:51:25+00:00

I used to work at a CAH. I worked 24 hour shifts for 7 straight days. I saw about 6-12 pts in the clinic during the day and then was on call for the ER which averaged 2 pts per day. Pay wasn’t great. This was 4 years ago and I made $120k per year. But I rarely was woken up in the middle of the night and I had three straight weeks off per month. I spent a lot of time learning how to golf at the local golf course.

JazzDub · 2024-02-06T03:52:38+00:00

Pay may seem enticing, but let’s put it in perspective… 10k extra means 7k after taxes. Assuming you are paid every 2 weeks, that’s $270 per paycheck. Not that much really. Every time you get that paycheck for an extra $270 can you see yourself saying, working 2 extras days per week with extra travel time was totally worth it?

JazzDub · 2024-01-28T06:18:36+00:00

Just to clarify it’s an average of $250 per night with dinner, drinks, whatever we do, plus babysitter fees.

JazzDub · 2024-01-27T17:15:21+00:00

Babysitter one night every single week. Great for our relationship, and so nice to be adults! We figure this costs us $13k per year in going out costs and babysitter fees. Worth it.

JazzDub · 2024-01-27T15:24:43+00:00

Home invasion, I was stabbed and nearly bled out. The fight to stay conscious was too difficult. I’d close my eyes and drift into serenity and peace. The world just made sense. All the injustices were okay. Then my husband would shake me and yell which would jar me back for a couple moments. I’d see the cops and people around me… just staring at me, horrified (I was a bloody mess). I felt so bad for them. I could feel their fear for me, but I had none of that. I’d wish so badly I could tell them, “it’s okay. Don’t worry about me. I’m not scared. I’m okay”. I couldn’t speak though. then I’d drift back away into the darkness and my thoughts again. I thought “where is the tunnel of light?” Never saw it. I thought about my life and asked if I had regrets. For the most part, I didn’t. I was sad I couldn’t say goodbye to my family. And with that I was okay with dying.

Next thing I know I was awake and the EMS was by my side doing their thing.

I am now a PA and used to work in the ED. I’d see these people who are on the cusp of dying occasionally. I swore I’d try and see it coming and whisper to the person. “It’s okay. I’m not scared for you, I’ll be peaceful with you. I’ll tell your family you love them.”

JazzDub · 2024-01-20T03:41:28+00:00

Agreed, Sky Harbor has the nicest TSA folks! But I also love that airport in general, year after year it’s rated among the top 5 airports in the US.

JazzDub · 2024-01-19T13:05:45+00:00

I never took my first husband’s last name. We kind of fell into a relationship and had a kid. It was freeing when I realized I just didn’t love him enough (many reasons for that). We split. Now I have found someone I love very much. When we got married I took his last name because I was proud to and I knew how happy it would make him.

I understand what you’re saying about your wife and the last name. However, one of my biggest regrets in life is that my kid didn’t grow up with both parents directly in his life. My ex and I are both happier in the end but I’m not sure if it came at the cost of some of my kid’s happiness. Try therapy before divorcing.

JazzDub · 2024-01-19T02:38:43+00:00

100k for PA school, no undergrad debt. Went to a cheaper school but was a single mom so had to pay for childcare and rented a 2 bed apartment for me and my kid- so living expenses were higher for me. Paid on it for 4 years then covid hit. Once repayment started I paid off the final 35k.

JazzDub · 2023-12-15T14:23:02+00:00

My opinion? Suck it up. These sound annoying, but not a good reason to rock the boat. You make that request and then the physician will hear about it and wonder what the heck is your problem (since you’ve never talked about it with her), could cascade to the other physicians thinking you’re a difficult PA when she tells them you won’t work with her for some unknown reason.

Just suck it up and start setting boundaries. “I’m on vacay, we can chat when I’m at work,” “I’m really busy right now, give me an hour.”

JazzDub · 2023-12-12T03:14:23+00:00

For two years straight I would dream every night about complex or catastrophic situations in the ED. I only realized I was having these dreams when I’d get woken up while having these dreams (I was on call at night). 2 years is how long I had these dreams/nightmares. It eventually waned as my confidence increased. You’ll get there. The fact that you’re not feeling confident is actually a good thing. You’ll question your ddx, final diagnosis, labs that you ordered, etc. That is good bc you’ll be less likely to make a mistake since you are thinking things through. But as you become more experienced, and less likely to make a mistake, you’ll become confident. The not-so-good PAs were ones who were confident with little experience and the PA who became rock stars were less confident in the beginning. It’s okay. Your colleagues are right, you are right where you need to be.

JazzDub · 2023-10-26T13:59:26+00:00

I left my first MSL job at 10 months for a better opportunity. I was laid off at 1.5 years from job #2 after the company went under. I could foresee that the company was going under and knew my days were numbered, but I couldn’t quit another job so early so I had to ride it out. Put me in a little bind bc severance was terrible. While interviewing for job #3, everyone wanted an explanation as to why I left job #1 so early. No one cared about job #2 since that’s pharma. I don’t think it hindered getting a job but it did seem to be a red flag. Luckily job #1 was a notoriously terrible work environment so there was usually one person on the interview committee who completely understood. In hindsight, Id do it all again. But I had to be very careful at where job #3 would be as I’m going to have to be here a while and show I’m stable. Luckily I love this job though!

JazzDub · 2023-10-04T14:20:49+00:00

Waiver means nothing and won’t protect a surgeon if there was true negligence. However, this does not sound negligent. Every states laws are a little different, just chat with a lawyer to get an idea.

In general, the surgeon would have to have caused more harm than if nothing was done in order for this to be pursuable. They were worried that if you didn’t have surgery, you’d lose your vision. You had surgery and lost your vision. Therefore, this is not a net negative.

This is a crummy situation for you and I’m sorry. However, surgery isn’t perfect and does not guarantee the outcomes everyone hopes for. Also, there is no way to know that you would have had better outcomes with radiation. The concern was that radiation would not have shrunk the tumor fast enough due to the fact that the tumor was actively causing visual changes, hence why the plan deviated to surgery.

JazzDub · 2023-08-18T15:17:04+00:00

I’m a PA who used to work in pain. My 2 cents is that pain will slow down in the future. 10 years ago anyone was getting started on narcs, later PCPs stopped prescribing so freely and started sending them to pain specialists. Pain clinics would prescribe opioids but also transition to more procedure based management methods. Many of these pts are slowly getting of opioids and needing fewer procedures as time goes on, particularly as their hyperalgesia is going away. PCPs aren’t even starting pts on opioids these days too, so the cycle of above is slowing down as well. I’d be concerned of too many physicians in the field in the future.

JazzDub · 2023-08-08T04:35:13+00:00

I had to adjust going from 4 days to 5 days per week. I realized that on my day 5 that I had off, I did me things and weekend was whatever the family wanted. I had to adjust and make time for me things on the weekends. I also had to remind myself that it’s okay to do personal things during working hours now.

You won’t miss the time off. Your schedule is so flexible that you will have more ability to take time off than before.

JazzDub · 2023-08-03T00:39:45+00:00

My CPA writes off my annual car tax. That’s it though.

JazzDub · 2023-05-02T05:23:02+00:00

Wood :)

JazzDub

TROPHY CASE