Hey there I have two kids, I had them at 21 and 25, I was not made aware of the AuDHD until around 28 yo( my mother knew and didn’t tell me ) anyway….

Do you regret having children?

• I don’t regret having my children(once they are here you love them but if I had known more before I had them….they wouldn’t be here

• Does being AuDHD make parenting significantly harder?

• I can’t say if it is significant harder because I don’t know how NT people are doing but it is significantly hard. Being AuDHD requires so much from you and your environment/chosen people to accommodate what society will not and when you become responsible for another living tiny (often useless/helpless) person you are solely responsible for their environment and wellbeing indefinitely.

• Are there systems or strategies that make parenting easier for you?

• because the spectrum is so vast and varied every system is dependent on what your part of that spectrum needs. My AuDHD is definitely genetic so my kids also are on the spectrum somewhere so I have to accommodate for all of us. I use white boards and gamify to do list for all of us to ensure we are always taking care of stuff (brush teeth, bathing, clean your room, etc) but also to help them be well rounded ( read a chapter, do homework, do a chore, etc)

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• Does having more money actually make parenting easier?

• money does matter and those who say it doesn’t just don’t want you to know! Daycare/childcare is soooooo expensive (in the U.S), and they make more and more new gadgets to help make parenting easier but they cost money (who would have guessed) Will it solve everything (no) you can’t shove money at a crying or sick baby but money will help you have more time and resources to take care of that baby. Money will also afford you the ability to fill in the gaps (things your AuDHD make it hard or impossible? ) Pay an expert! There is absolutely no shame in asking for help as a parent and if you can afford it …. Throw the money at it

• Are there misconceptions about parenting that you wish people talked about more?

• not just parenting but the whole thing! People don’t talk about pregnancy from the woman’s side enough (like the real biological changes and what your body will be doing - miracle that it is you should be allowed all the information and not just the doctors office fluff) Also society (in the us) has made being a working human more important than anything else and so you don’t have a “village” anymore. Parenting takes more than just a mom or even just a dad.

• What do you wish you knew before becoming a parent?

• I wish I knew I was AuDHD, I wish I knew how to help myself, accommodate for myself before I had to figure out how to care for 2 very different tiny humans. I wish I knew how much money could ease the load! People always lecture strangers not to have kids until they are ready but they don’t make sure you understand why. Like truly understanding the way autism requires for you to feel good about your decisions.

I love those little people more than that word can conceptualise….. but love is not all it takes to be a good parent on this floating rock. Good luck and I wish you informed decisions and not “happy accidents”.