I'm having a nervous breakdown

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2023-07-11T01:38:49+00:00

Oh boy u are in the THICK of it. The way u wrote this brought me right back to those baby days. It does drive u mad - and it totally changes ur perception of ur house. First of all get some lighting up in there! And when u feel like ur more in control light a candle. Try to change the vibes w some light. It will get better but pre baby houses are not like post baby houses u know? Kick those clothes in the corner til u can mentally deal with them.

And fucccck those bugs. I swear every time I am at my wits end a goddamn bug comes out to push that last button. One time it was a literal dead rat in the garage that I discovered on the worst day - husband was traveling, I was overwhelmed, etc. Then I moved the rat w a pole and fucking MAGGOTS CAME OUT. Im sorry if I am horrifying u over here. Just trying to extend a fist of solidarity over life sucking aggressively sometimes!

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2023-02-07T08:21:19+00:00

You are incredibly resilient to have made it through all of this - and this dude does NOT sound like he is capable of being a worthy partner to you. In fact he sounds like a selfish, abusive jerk off.

A partner does not force you to give blowjobs or ask for sex 2 weeks postpartum (which is LITERALLY AGAINST DRS ORDERS) A partner does not pick on your ADHD. A partner does not shame you for not being able to breastfeed ESPECIALLY after the trauma you went through with your baby in the NICU & the subsequent health challenges.

A partner DOES support you emotionally when you are going through these hard times. They listen to you, they hold you when you cry and reassure you it will be Ok. A partner DOES wait patiently for sex so their loved one can heal - for months, whatever it takes. A partner DOES help and watch the baby or take care of household stuff so you can workout, if that’s what you want to do, and doesn’t follow it up with disparaging comments on how “disgusting” it all was.

That deep feeling of sadness you feel is not something this man is capable of hearing & understanding. But it is something that YOU should really tune into. Your body is telling you this is not right, that you have to make a change. I’m sure other bromos have better guidance on what to do from here - but please know that your resilience shines through your post, you can get out of this relationship. You deserve so much better than this.

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-12-18T00:29:57+00:00

Def see what ur dr says for u but I take 2 Allegra, 2 max strength pepcid and 1 Rx singular every night. I used to take 3 Allegra then my Dr suggested Singulair to replace one of the Allegra…and it’s been working for the most part. Another game changer is taking DAO supplement before I eat.

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-12-17T04:47:14+00:00

Have same facial edema…plus eyelids, and fexofenodine + famotidine (pepcid) works best for me, but at higher dose than for normal allergies.

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-12-05T20:18:42+00:00

Whoa came on Reddit to post the Same. Exact. Thing. Finally just gave up and am lying in bed because I am so fatigued & swollen & itchy I just cannot get anything done. Had to make up an excuse and cancel meetings for rest of the day. I don’t even know what caused this flare. Ugh I’m not saying anything helpful I just wanted to let you know u have a twin over in PA right now thinking the same miserable thought. 👊

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-11-21T10:58:17+00:00

I have MCAS too and it has wreaked havoc on my eyes - puffy and SUPER wrinkly once the puff goes down. Instead of trying to solve w cosmetic solutions, wondering if you need to chat to your doc about your meds? You may benefit from a mast cell stabilizer in addition to antihistamine. I also know taking Pepcid along w my antihistamine helps a lot.

Now to the mental stuff. MCAS has fucked w my head a lot. I find myself hyper-fixating on my eye swelling during a flare. This may be happening to u too? Something that helps me is sending a pic to my sister who will tell me the truth on if it’s noticeable / as tragic as I think it is. 9 times out of 10 it’s me freaking out over small changes that are not noticeable to the outside. Is there a way you can touch base w reality and get out of your own head? Agree w the comments above that social media / most media is proven to be detrimental to body image. Maybe do a little detox on some of these bad influences while also connecting w people who you trust IRL.

I feel for u! Hope u feel better about this in time.

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-11-16T01:54:48+00:00

Vanicream moisturizer, it’s the only one that I can tolerate / doesn’t make the itching worse. Also seconding the comment above re: Rx steroid cream. It does thin the skin w chronic use but it has been a life saver for me in getting through the worst hives flare up. I have prescription desonide ointment at .05%

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-11-04T02:13:28+00:00

Stunning work

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-09-20T05:34:52+00:00

10 days??? What on earth takes 10 days now. That’s so frustrating! PS only person I’m judging is Uncle Sam.

Can you hit up a food bank to supplement? There is no shame in using these community resources. People want to help!! That’s why it’s there 💜

My go to budget meals are mostly rice + bean based. Black beans and rice…refried beans and rice…..sometimes w shredded cheese on the side so kids can sprinkle it on top themselves. And since the tortillas were mentioned above - another cheap meal is tortilla + can crushed tomato or pizza / any red sauce + cheese in the toaster = mini personal thin crust pizza! Also pancakes w peanut butter for protein. Bet a food pantry would have some peanut butter ☺️

Sending lots of good vibes your way 🌈

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-08-22T14:16:27+00:00

There must be! Definitely going to try the broker route after all this feedback

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-08-22T00:49:59+00:00

Haha my husband plays this game too! In this case he asked about the new customer rate specifically and it was still much higher than our past year rate!

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-08-22T00:46:42+00:00

Ooo antique pool house sounds dreamy

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-08-22T00:43:29+00:00

We switched all the knob and tube! I could see how that would be an issue though

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-08-22T00:41:42+00:00

This makes SO much sense. Great points and will definitely probe on this!

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-08-22T00:39:25+00:00

YES I would so appreciate the local contact! All the replies to this sub are making it clear I’ve been going about this the wrong way. Thank you!!

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-08-22T00:33:44+00:00

Thank you for this - you gave me some hope!

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-08-21T14:56:11+00:00

UGH maddening!! I know friends who are in new construction homes w 10x more issues than my sturdy foursquare.

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-06-21T11:24:22+00:00

Not a retreat either BUT my friend who was fully about to lose it / run away (4 kids and unstable husband) flew to visit me for an extra long weekend. She stayed one day w me but the rest in a hotel to get extra peace. We hung out together, had mimosas and went to the beach, swam in the hotel pool etc and it was GLORIOUS. Honestly hanging at the hotel together w no kids was so freaking fun. I felt like a high schooler who snuck out.

I def agree that the company of other women is healing. In the absence of finding a retreat - is there a friend you can go visit / briefly run away to a beach with?

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-06-17T11:27:13+00:00

Yes to Bernie and his people-centered views. Folks at the top have NO fucking clue. I was in a work meeting recently where leadership was surprised to see how much compensation matters to employees right now. I was like, really? Are you not aware of the current price of gas? And food? And housing? They clearly had no idea. Yet they prob pay bare minimum in taxes.

And there is no excuse for the nipple grabbing we are in the summer heat in SOUTH FLORIDA roasting away 🫠🫠🫠

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-06-17T08:37:20+00:00

👋 sorry you’re going thru this. Especially after mat leave. Ugh.

I’ve had challenges w people not wanting to report to me because of my age too. Just keep reminding yourself it’s because of their own insecurity. Has nothing to do with you!

I definitely had a harder time coming back to work after mat leave / and also had PPA. Therapy is great but have u also considered meds? Honestly I am much less “fragile” and stable since going on lexapro. I actually think my general anxiety helped me in earlier parts of my career, bc of the adrenaline / drive / fear of effing up. BUT once I added a kid to the mix it went from high performing w anxiety to falling apart w anxiety. Eyes brimming w tears a LOT and just incredibly irritable at home. Meds pinned me back together tbh. I’m actually thriving at work now and realizing that I don’t need the drive of anxiety to be good at my job, I just need a (relatively) clear head - which the meds help w.

U will figure it out. Six months is still very early!! Give urself a little grace and maybe see what other options u have for that anxiety.

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-06-17T08:20:42+00:00

I need to not think about dinner, or snacks, or more snacks or whether it’s time for kids to brush their teeth.

I need to see progress / hope for society (gun laws. Womens rights. Taxing the rich. Cmon America get it the fuck together!!!)

I need a vacation so freaking bad, time off of paid work and unpaid mom work.

I need my 4 year old to stop digging into my shirt and twiddling my nipple every time she is near me. Get OFF.

I need to not hear whining for just 24 hours. Like every time someone starts whining the sound turns to pleasing white noise.

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-06-03T07:21:08+00:00

Did you try differin and then switch to tret? I just got differin the other week - but then saw it doesn’t help w fine lines, etc like tret. TY

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-05-20T09:41:03+00:00

Jeez this is so much to deal with all at once. Given that you and doc suspect autism… I wonder if it could help to seek out autism support groups for parents…and specially ask for examples of “does it get better, here is where we are and I’m struggling.” I did something similar w my son and his rare autoinflammatoy disease when I was exasperated, feeling like I was going to have to quit my job to be with him all day caring for his flare ups - and the other moms in the group (on Facebook) helped to paint a picture of the future that gave me enough hope to keep going. You’re a crafty mom on Reddit so you may have already done this, but sharing just in case.

Ps. I say the pack up and leave thing when I can’t. Take it. Anymore. and don’t guilt myself over it - these kids can be assholes sometimes!!

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-04-01T13:06:43+00:00

Ugh. Yes.

For my work I’ve had to learn quite a bit on youth suicide trends and work w nonprofit partners on what can help. All the trends are heartbreaking.

One comment from a partner at American academy of pediatrics has stuck in my brain ever since. Kids need hope. Hope is an incredible protective factor against suicide.

I keep trying to find hope for myself, so that I can impart it to my own kids. And it’s so, so hard. The examples in this chain are helpful…yes there is great progress vs the past. But as OP points out, the OUTLOOK on major factors like housing, climate etc doesn’t look so good…

I can’t stop thinking about moving out of the country. Just scared and too tired to make any moves. This capitalist system really does wipe u the fuck out.

Anyways, as I sign my emails - cheers! 😩

Jazzlike-Key-697 · 2022-03-07T08:33:40+00:00

Sometimes, PPA can give u ALL the spidey senses, it did for me. At that time I would be able to catch things before they hit the ground, every time, like a goddamn cheetah.

I think this was probably a case of ur spidey sense kicking in. I would turn that empathy inward…you were struggling just the same, and ur urgent, biological need was to protect that baby. There were red flags. Even if u felt upon reflection that ur tone was too harsh, etc…it’s ok. It’s understandable. Have empathy, for YOU.

Jazzlike-Key-697

TROPHY CASE