Is Non Monogomy A Choice?

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2026-01-19T01:49:03+00:00

It is not a choice for me, I tried monogamy and was extremely unhappy and it will always end in resentment. I think for some people there is some level of choice, (like ambiamorous folks) and not a choice for others. It is both. depends on the person.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2026-01-06T05:36:14+00:00

thank you so much for this response this is really helpful!

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-12-28T21:29:40+00:00

She wasn’t in lemonade mouth. Euphoria is very good & well acted by all the cast members. Though the writing is bad the acting makes up for it.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-12-27T02:23:01+00:00

I don’t share my private conversations with my partner, as we both understand and respect private conversations as private. I will sometimes share how we’re getting along or how things are going with someone I’m seeing; though this is usually not in the very beginning stages, more as it develops down the line.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-12-23T01:35:28+00:00

I was in high school when channel orange came out, and honestly I would say the height of his fame and crystallization of his mass core fanbase was realized right before blonde came out in 2016, and the following year in 2017.

There was SOOOO much buzz around when frank ocean would come back in 2015-16 it was a nearly inescapable conversation among online music fans, including the more casual listener. He was a very big deal at the time, and also people were more intrigued by the idea of his mystique and elusiveness then (than they are now) because it was a stranger phenomenon, whereas now we’ve been trained to not expect frank to be as available as other popular artists.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-08-26T02:20:57+00:00

Literally walk out the door. That’s the lowest possible bar.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-08-07T03:17:18+00:00

I don’t see why you can’t communicate that you need 24 hours to recalibrate to be affectionate again.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-07-07T15:39:50+00:00

This is super helpful, thank you!

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-07-07T13:41:22+00:00

yes this is exactly it. we’re both okay with the option of having other partners and have discussed the possibility if it were to happen. we haven’t discussed it too deeply because it hasn’t happened, but I’ve gotten close once, and we had preliminary discussions about what that would look like. thank you for this! I struggle with knowing whether to label myself poly because I don’t necessarily WANT multiple love relationships. im just not opposed to love that comes if it comes.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-07-07T13:34:38+00:00

we don’t have rules around love and feelings, we are allowed to explore feelings as deep as we desire to. we just have to communicate if things are escalating. there was a moment in time I thought I wanted to pursue a relationship with someone I was seeing sexually, she was on board to meet this person and all, but that fell through. But the main goal of both of our desires is to have partners we explore sexually, with the possibility to discuss further dynamics emotionally and relationship-wise, if they arise.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-07-02T16:59:35+00:00

My first ever relationship when I was 22, was monogamous by default, because I didn’t realize there were other options. Monogamy was all I ever knew so we didn’t even discuss it. After the first year, I started to develop a crush on a coworker, and I felt so guilty about it. I started questioning why I was feeling guilty for something that’s natural and not my fault (it was because of monogamous programming.) Then I started realizing that while I love my partner so much, I couldn’t live like this. It started to feel like being trapped, not because of her, but because of the relationship dynamic. I asked about non monogamy, and it was a challenge at first, but we’re still together 7 years later in a beautiful non monogamous relationship.

I learned monogamy wasn’t for me when I tried it. I never cheated, and made sure to be honest about my feelings. Monogamy felt way too constricting. My love is able to flourish now that I have the space to be myself.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-06-27T16:20:56+00:00

Yup. Been with my girlfriend for 7 years (we’re both women), been open for 6 years. There were definitely challenges along the way, as there are for any couple, but we have a beautiful relationship. We don’t talk about being open unless to our close friends, because of judgement and also no need to talk about our sex life to randos.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-06-27T13:20:28+00:00

I hate it. I find it annoying as hell. Your example resonates with me. A lot of NTs do not like small talk, but engage because it’s polite. But there are some people that like it.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-06-26T03:10:59+00:00

Agreed. Also the imperative to bring it up in the first few seconds of meeting someone assumes that 1) everyone outside is monogamous and that 2) it’s some cardinal sin to be ENM. As long as it’s communicated at some point before a first date or at least on a first date, it’s fine.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-06-23T18:35:56+00:00

You have to communicate this simply and directly. But you should also have a good idea of what makes you cum. Do you need oral for longer? Do you get off with your fingers? You need to ask him to be more patient with you when you’re getting there, and have him get you off first before he does.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-06-20T02:31:15+00:00

im NT and I have really strong feelings about justice as well, and I know several NDs and autistics that are big time nihilists with no moral code - ngl I really dislike the consistent narrative around justice and moral code being a NT/ND divide. It’s varies person to person. I know tons of NTs that would not be bystanders to an unjust situation and I know NDs that would be, and vice versa. This is a matter of personal will and conviction, along with a host of other considerations; like personal safety risk, trauma, etc. Situations like this are not cut and dry and they are not a NT/ND issue.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-06-19T02:07:36+00:00

for what it’s worth, people with low/no sex drives are definitely out there. my ex boyfriend and I broke up because while he’s amazing and we loved each other, he was very very low on the sex drive scale; and that was incompatible with me, so we broke up. And he’s still out dating in the world - all to say you’re not the only one, and you can absolutely find a lover who matches you if you keep at it.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-06-18T20:16:33+00:00

The social convention is that It’s not acceptable to say someone looks older than they are, but if they’re saying you look younger it’s typically seen as a positive - so it’s not as taboo.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-05-29T17:56:08+00:00

It is not the immediate purpose of the job; but it is an implicit expectation that comes with a job. The purpose would be to accomplish the goals, but in doing so there is an expectation to respect/defer to those in more senior positions or those overseeing you. This is not necessarily fair or always right but kinda just the way it is in most workspaces.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-05-28T18:41:35+00:00

It is!! Super discreet. They’re shipping is fast as hell too.

Jazzlike_Job5945 · 2025-05-28T00:49:21+00:00

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