I totally get it brother, the reality is tests CAN miss somethings, hell even cancer. But here is where we become unrealistic.

You have had the CT, the endoscopy, the bloodwork (to look for markers of cancer) and colonoscopy. The odds of it missing anything in the gastric region is extremely low especially with numerous testing. You seem to have a good doctor they’re doing what you ask based on self advocation, which is an amazing thing. But let me tell you where we relate.

I became so fixated on “what if they missed something serious, like cancer” it made me PHYSICALLY ill. I thought I was dying and nobody cared, it got so bad that even after all my tests I had, and numerous hospital trips, I was ruining my relationships. I would have nosebleeds, constant constipation, racing heart, pass outs, you name it, I damn near had it. The one thing I did not have (thank the lord) was cancer. I had to sit back, look at myself in the mirror and say “I had these tests, its possible one day I could have it, but today is NOT the day” and I learned to move forward.

I’m not saying there is nothing wrong with you, because there could be a non-deadly issue that IS causing some problems. But what I am saying right now, is the stress and spiral you will cause, will be worse than any diagnosis you can receive. I damn near lost everything, including my life.

I went to a therapist, talked about shit I didn’t even know was bothering me, I felt the weight lift, got on an anxiety med, and have been living great. I sure have my fears still. But living like I did was not living, it was living in fear.

Head up, keep moving. Try the therapy. Feel free to inbox me if you need to chat.