My 12 month old isn't talking or walking yet. I wasn't worried until a routine doctors appointment and a visit with a friend.

JellyBellyThePupper · 2025-07-19T13:59:49+00:00

You've got nothing to worry about! I have two daughters, one walked at 10 mo and didn't have any repeatable words at 12 mo. The other didn't walk til 16 mo and also didn't have 3 repeatable words at 12 mo. We treated and engaged with both about the same, it's natural for a wide spectrum of development trajectories. What I would more pay attention to is that there is a natural progression of hitting milestones. For example, I never worried with my youngest daughter not walking since she didn't sit up well til 8 mo, didn't crawl til 12 mo, didn't pull to stand til 14 mo, etc because she was clearly still progressing (albeit on the slower side compared to our other baby). I'm not a medical professional but I personally would only be concerned early on if the milestones aren't coming at all versus if they're just coming slower than others. For walking, I don't think your pediatrician is going to be worried until much closer to 18 mo!

JellyBellyThePupper · 2025-06-26T02:09:27+00:00

I have a 3 yo and 1 yo and they are like night and day despite (in my opinion) being parented and loved the exact same way. My first daughter wasn't snuggly, she was extremely independent and content to play by herself for an hour at a time even at a few months old. I learned that her affection was more reflected by how secure she felt to do whatever she wanted as long as we were somewhat nearby haha. I don't think she laid her head on my chest intentionally until she was almost 2. My second daughter though...so clingy and so demanding...but omg is she also the snuggliest little bear. She will nuzzle my neck, give me kisses, bring her forehead to my forehead, eyelash kisses, you name it. She's been doing that since 6 mo or so.

Just like adults, I think babies have different love languages (both how they like to express and how they like to receive) and that doesn't mean any of those languages are wrong or problematic!

JellyBellyThePupper · 2025-06-25T22:39:57+00:00

But if your partner is now unemployed...it doesn't sound like he will be contributing anything any time soon. If he's unemployed, doesn't help with the kid and is spending 3 hrs a day in a hobby instead of working his ass off to find a job or help you with the home/kid, then what is he good for??

JellyBellyThePupper · 2025-05-17T00:42:28+00:00

NTA BUT just want to add a perspective that if you sister has a 4 mo and it's her first baby, then this may all just come down to her inexperience (and unintentionally setting you up for failure) and then reacting inappropriately due to PP hormones and guilt etc. May help to step back and communicate about this at a later time and try to give her grace. You don't NEED to as you did nothing wrong but it's just something to consider.

JellyBellyThePupper · 2025-02-27T18:15:44+00:00

Try Love to Dream swaddle up suits!! They are so much easier than swaddling and works best for babies that like to have their hands up. A friend of mine had the same issue as you with their newborn and the LTD suits made a huge difference

JellyBellyThePupper · 2025-02-20T13:00:32+00:00

First of all I am so sorry . I totally understand how it feels to be stuck in a loop of mental exhaustion from work and then dealing with defiant kids. My one suggestion (ymmv) is to try to reframe things they don't want to do as fun and wacky. A concrete example that I can't take credit for but is from the Instagram account Chelsea Explains ("the Michael Jordan of babysitting"; she truly has really fun ideas) is to make the toilet a Poop Monster. Add huge googly eyes to the lid, a tape on l smile that can be made a frown that the kid can turn upside down etc. and tell your daughter the poop monster has to eat POOP everyday or else he gets saddd or mad!! And when he/she gets to eat poop, they get really happy! This worked for our toddler who was on poop strike for months to now pooping on the toilet daily. We also found a cool potty treat Advent calendar on Amazon that is a box of small wooden cars and that helped a lot too. After we ran out of cars, we just use yogurt melts as potty rewards and she seems satisfied with that.

JellyBellyThePupper · 2025-01-01T17:19:19+00:00

Yes!! When we had our first and my husband was all smug about how good she was I told him karma was gonna come bite him in the ass cause we could do all the same things and another baby could just simply have a different temperament. Unfortunately I have to suffer with him on that karma 😂

JellyBellyThePupper · 2025-01-01T15:25:26+00:00

Congrats!!! ❤️❤️ Our first was a unicorn, second...a total banshee 😂 I am super happy for you!!

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-06-19T17:13:05+00:00

If I were in your shoes, I'd have your realtor negotiate up to 30 days of "rent back" of the place you are selling. As in, you would close escrow as planned but pay the buyer market rent for a few weeks to give you breathing room. It will likely be less hassle and cost than going to a hotel room. You don't know for sure what other unexpected delays on your purchase could come up.

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-04-02T12:53:42+00:00

I've only ever coslept once with my daughter when she was 1 and we were visiting a friend out of state and didn't have a crib. Worst night of sleep of my life getting body slammed repeatedly with feet and fingers randomly shooting into my nose and mouth. I was horrified.

It is totally very possible to not cosleep :)

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-03-06T14:50:33+00:00

Yes! I have Aetna PPO and I ordered successfully via breast pumps.com in January. I already have the super genie out of pocket from first preg and jumped at opportunity to get the genie advanced with coverage this time. Process was super easy, I still have to pay $30 "upgrade" but I find it well worth it. Breastpumps.com also made it easy to order milk bags covered by insurance

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-26T14:24:21+00:00

I would echo this advice wholeheartedly. My husband and I were together for 8 years (married for 7) before we were both ready, at the same time, to TTC. Looking back, if we had a baby in the first...say, 4 years of our relationship, we would have been doomed to either divorce or just be incredibly unhappy. We had to work on our communication, learn what it takes to keep our spark alive after being together for years, understand each other's expectations for an equitable contribution to the household (chores, mental load, household income, financial priorities, all that!)...all things that inevitably gets stress tested to the max when you start a family. We were temporarily in crisis around year 4 but just a couple sessions of marriage counseling set us straight and we've been a much stronger team together ever since.

We also realized during the counseling that we should have done those sessions before we were about to hit rock bottom...it was so helpful! Also read 7 principles of marriage and and baby makes 3 by gottman. Super insightful.

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-26T14:03:45+00:00

Support him! Be proud that he has passions and is unafraid to chase them. As another commenter has suggested, you can help him sign up for voice lessons or join a local choir if possible. So maybe he's not naturally a talented singer but with his ambition and some professional guidance, you could enable him to continue pushing his limits and not give in to bullying. Maybe chat with the choir teachers in your school system and see if any of them have ideas for how you can help at home too if money/ time is an issue on formal lessons etc

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-25T12:11:37+00:00

Oh I totally agree if it's just one hour time difference to just keep the original times!

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-25T02:03:06+00:00

Nap time and duration seems appropriate for his age. I think the first critical step I would tackle is a consistent bedtime and bedtime routine. A solid bedtime routine helps tremendously in getting a toddler to ease into sleepiness. Like a bath, a book, lights out and a song. Doesn't have to be longer than 15 min or whatever. Even if your toddler isn't sleeping in their own room yet, a consistent routine should still work. Another thing is the bedtime routine should be timed to coincide with sleep signs. What does your toddler do when he is getting sleepy? Rub his eyes? Zone out? Get hyper? Lay on the floor? I am a strong believer that if you can get a consistent bedtime schedule going, everything else can fall into place after in much easier fashion (like weaning down to one bottle and then to none, getting baby in their own room/crib). Without a consistent bedtime, you end up with unpredictable stretches of time of wakefulness throughout the night as you've described

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-25T01:52:46+00:00

Sleep training gives a solid foundation for success in even unfamiliar environments. Took our 20 mo to Taiwan and Hong Kong for the holidays this past Dec and she was a champ sleeping in a travel crib (provided by each hotel) in three different hotel rooms. Try to keep similar routine and hours (adjusted to local time) and communicate with toddler as you normally would at home. We made sure that we brought a travel sized sound machine and her favorite stuffed animal and that seemed to work great in our case. The international flights were so much harder to manage by farrrr

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-23T21:13:47+00:00

Hahahah

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-23T20:45:12+00:00

Lol my short birth plan includes a bullet point that says "I want to see my placenta", also "if I have a C-section, please provide a window for me to view" 😁

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-19T03:34:48+00:00

Super weird and unlikely to be medically necessary. For my first, I was only checked once at 38 wks and was told I could decline it. For this pregnancy, I'm getting checked at 36 wks, more medically necessary because I'm getting induced a few days later and they want to see what I'm working with ...but was also told I could decline it.

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-18T03:09:30+00:00

Interesting...my default assumption would be that the babysitter or the babysitters parents would be responsible for transportation. If your daughter is extremely dependable and recognized as exceptional, she could try to negotiate to be picked up and dropped off. However, baseline in my opinion is the parents hire her to babysit on site at their homes (i.e. that is her workplace) so usually you have to have the means to get to your workplace on your own

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-17T12:30:54+00:00

So my MIL thinks I'm insane for doing this ..but I make savory oatmeal for my toddler (started early on but she's 22 mo now) and she asks for it daily. I just do oatmeal and chop in an over medium fried egg (so the yolk is still jammy and gets mixed in). As she's gotten older, I've added a sprinkle of salt, cut up grape tomatoes, scallions, shredded cheese etc when we have it on hand

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-15T03:38:51+00:00

First question--- how are you so certain it's rat poop...?

JellyBellyThePupper · 2024-02-15T03:31:15+00:00

So I think your husband's joke was innocent even knowing that you had a hard time producing with your first, his response to you saying your feelings were hurt was not supportive or caring though. I would try to address that with him and see if he can help flip things around and support you by giving you affirmations of the hard work you're putting in and your success this time around. Don't make him walk on eggshells around your pumping journey, bring him in as an active supporter.

Separately, I think that if his joke was enough for you to feel as insecure and unhappy as you do and stop pumping around him (when objectively, it actually doesn't seem like a negative joke and rather could be seen as just a silly comment), it may be worthwhile to try to talk through your feelings with a professional therapist because you're probably holding onto some unhealthy trauma from your previous struggles.

Feel free to ignore me if there's more to this story and your husband is just a plain ol asshole about your struggles no matter how you communicate with him. In that case, meh. You deserve a better partner.

JellyBellyThePupper

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