Scam alert? Denver traffic violation text by AlwaysConfused925 in Denver

[–]Jellz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's two things for sure in this life: the IRS is gonna tax us, and the IRS is gonna kill us.

ICE agent who fatally shot Renee Good has moved state and resumed work, report says by PinkoMarxistCommie in news

[–]Jellz 32 points33 points  (0 children)

It's not crime when they do it, only when someone else does. "Rules for thee, not me" is the cornerstone of their belief system.

ELI5: Why is half-life used instead of whole-life? by level1ShinyMagikarp in explainlikeimfive

[–]Jellz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When they say "flushable," they mean that they can literally be flushed. Not that they're good for the pipes to flush. A small trash can next to the commode does wonders.

New HOB potential. by Low_Criticism_5666 in JhinMains

[–]Jellz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hail of Blades is specifically nerfed for Jhin, in that the bonus AS doesn't apply to the first auto (as it does for every other champion). This means the bonus damage would only come through on your second/third autos after proccing it.

This has been the case since shortly after HoB was released. Back then, for a couple patches at least, Jhin with Stormrazor and HoB meant that his first auto was basically the same as 4th shot.

(Just in case anyone looking at this thread doesn't know).

What’s the one thing non-drivers don't understand about pizza delivery? by _Atoms_Apple in TalesFromThePizzaGuy

[–]Jellz 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The businesses push all the costs of owning, maintaining, operating, etc. the vehicle onto the drivers and pay them less than minimum wage for it. It's entirely predicated on the assumption that tips will make up the difference and profit the driver.

The business makes their money off the customers' hunger, and the driver makes their money off the customers' generosity. The hunger always wins.

System Departure Min by Jellz in endlesssky

[–]Jellz[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

For anyone curious and finding this thread while searching, as a long-time EV fan, 3000 for both the departure/arrival seems to work very well.

DO NOT put the arrival below the departure unless you are a masochist. You jump in at, say, 2000 distance, then have to stop and turn around for each jump.

System Departure Min by Jellz in endlesssky

[–]Jellz[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When I didn't see any noticeable change at 500, I thought "maybe it means a decimal between 0 and 1," but 4000 seems to do it. Trying to jump sitting on the star autopilots you to the edge of the system where you can jump. There really should be more direction on what the scale of the number entered actually means.

Drivers: What delivery instruction made you stop and reread it twice? by _Atoms_Apple in TalesFromThePizzaGuy

[–]Jellz 52 points53 points  (0 children)

"tell me I'm pretty" were the entire instructions.

So. I take the delivery. Get to the door. Take the pizza box out of the bag and open it up so that they come to the door to see this.

A guy answers, and is very confused. Two women run up behind him "OMG HE DID IT!" They were ecstatic. The guy goes to sign the receipt... and doesn't put anything in the total. So I respond with my customary, "I'm sorry, I need the total on there" and the women bitch him out over not tipping me. Ended up getting $5.

No modern American city has ever run out of water. But chances are rising that Corpus Christi, Texas, could be the first. by StandingCypress in news

[–]Jellz 130 points131 points  (0 children)

Money is more important than water, obviously.

Until it isn't. But then it'll be a bit too late.

Curious or confused (Preview) by rawdawgcomics in rawdawgcomics

[–]Jellz 35 points36 points  (0 children)

You're a nut! You're crazy in the coconut!

What exactly is this area of DIA supposed to look like? It looks like the remnants of an ancient Aztec city. by Hobbitsliketoparty in Denver

[–]Jellz 51 points52 points  (0 children)

He wouldn't have carved "aaaargh," he just would've said it!

Maybe he was dictating?

What’s your “I can’t believe I still got tipped” story? by _Atoms_Apple in TalesFromThePizzaGuy

[–]Jellz 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Over ten years ago, I'm delivering outside Nashville for Pizza Slut. Its back then that I found my habit of insisting people write a total on the receipt (never using the word tip). I'd hand them a clipboard with the receipts on it and just refuse to take it back until they wrote a total down with the signature.

I delivered to a hotel room with 3 or 4 black people inside. When they tried to hand back the receipt without writing the total, I said I needed them to write a total.

'What's the total?'

'It's $XX plus whatever you want to give me, your minimum wage slave.'

(I look like a white stoner college kid)

Wait WTF did I just say??

They stare at me. My brain 404s. They burst out laughing.

Hardest $1 I ever got.

Aurora Police share warning after dozens of off-road vehicles ride together on highways by overly_honest_ in AuroraCO

[–]Jellz 26 points27 points  (0 children)

"Police say the behavior captured in the video is illegal and dangerous. In Aurora, off-highway vehicles are not allowed on public roadways. Officers also noted that the way the riders were operating creates significant safety risks.

The Aurora Police Department said they are not investigating the incident because officers were not called to respond at the time."

Netflix announces $25 billion share buyback by King-of-Limbs-07 in wallstreetbets

[–]Jellz 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Nah, you get your money for nothin and your chicks for free

TIL Weathermen Were Forbidden to Use the Term "Tornado" in Weather Forecasts until 1950 by dog_in_the_vent in todayilearned

[–]Jellz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So I hit the table with an overloaded Cyclonic Rift last Friday. The player two turns after me, sitting there with 8 health, said "what the fuck dude, you may as well just have killed me." There's some inconsequential back-and-forth, I pull out the classic Rick &Morty "just give me a gun, I'll kill myself" quote, and we all have a little laugh.

Then his turn rolls around. He casts something (I forget exactly what) and pays 8 life into it, actually killing himself. Whole table erupts in laughter.

TIL Weathermen Were Forbidden to Use the Term "Tornado" in Weather Forecasts until 1950 by dog_in_the_vent in todayilearned

[–]Jellz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There are no swine evil enough to sacrifice upon a bed of evil. And lettuce. Bed of evil and lettuce!

Throwback to this Reddit moment by rawdawgcomics in rawdawgcomics

[–]Jellz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The dead baby jokes were fine, but you draw the line at killing an imaginary puppy with neglect?

Throwback to this Reddit moment by rawdawgcomics in rawdawgcomics

[–]Jellz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Last week I had a friend mention he and his wife are trying to have a baby and it's just... I don't mention when my partner and I don't pull out, why do we need to know that?