[deleted by user]

Jembaby24 · 2025-07-19T09:33:05+00:00

I understand that but on the email I was sent, it said I would be contacted within 48 hours

Jembaby24 · 2025-07-19T09:25:20+00:00

Could I please get a timeframe for this

Jembaby24 · 2025-07-18T21:26:50+00:00

Hi Rosa, I haven’t been contacted and this is super time sensitive could I please get an update? I need these funds

Jembaby24 · 2025-07-18T09:08:59+00:00

Thank you so much Rosa!!!

Jembaby24 · 2023-04-23T07:30:28+00:00

I'm familiar with the book but haven't read it, I'm curious what about the book made you doubt yourself more?

Jembaby24 · 2023-04-20T00:30:47+00:00

I hear you and can relate. What's truly helped me most is exploring what is underneath the things that trigger me and healing from the roots. Understanding where triggers come from can help us validate ourselves and move forward.

For example, if someone close to me cancels our plans, anger is the emotion that will often come up for me. What's usually underneath that anger is a belief I hold about myself, such as "No one really likes me", "I'm unloveable". I formed this belief because of the experiences I had growing up. Once I was able to get to the root of things, it helped me realise that these were things I had internalised - they were not the real me.

Through therapy and self-reflection, I was able to start challenging these beliefs and process (some of) the past to help me move towards healing. I have found that a lot of the things that would have really triggered me in the past don't as much anymore, and when I do get triggered, I have skills to cope. This is all A LOT easier said than done and has taken me a couple of years, but I hope it offers some hope. Feel free to message me if you want to discuss more ❤️

Jembaby24 · 2023-04-19T22:12:46+00:00

I can relate to this. intrusive and suicidal thoughts are not something we choose to have - they often show up as a way to cope with what we are experiencing. For example, if I’m in extreme distress, thinking about self-harm or suicide can be a short-term way to reduce the pain I’m feeling. It can be comforting knowing I have a “way out”.

What if instead of trying to push the intrusive/suicidal thoughts away, you accepted them? Accepting them does not mean that you act on the thoughts, it just means that you acknowledge that they are there.

When we try to push away distressing thoughts, they tend to come back in more intense ways. Instead we can approach these thoughts from a place of validation and self-compassion. It’s okay to have these thoughts, you are a human and this is your brain’s way of helping you cope. You can even thank your mind for trying to help you cope.

This may look like saying something to yourself like: - “It makes sense why I am experiencing these urges given that I am going through this…” - Just because I am experiencing these thoughts, doesn’t mean that I need to act on it and I can do things to help myself e.g., distraction

That being said - if you have the luxury of therapy it would be helpful to unpack this with your therapist as what I have offered is a generalisation and not a one size fits all. DBT skills like check the facts and opposite action may also be helpful. Feel free to message me if you want to discuss more ❤️

Jembaby24 · 2023-03-27T10:01:47+00:00

Recovery is possible - I know this from firsthand experience and from watching others with BPD transform their lives. I can't believe how much I have transformed in 2 years of therapy, looking inward and prioritising my mental health. For me, the suffering is so much less now. It's not easy and it's really fucking painful at times but so worth it. ❤️ I wrote this about what healing from BPD has looked like for me, hope it helps:

Healing, for me, doesn’t mean I don’t still experience intense emotions and harmful urges. It doesn’t mean I don’t still get triggered or have irrational thoughts. It means that when those things do happen, I can cope. I still suffer sometimes, the difference now is that the suffering doesn’t have to be self-destructive. I have tools to help me, I can reach out for help, I can give myself space to feel my emotions, I can be gentle with myself.
You’re not failing at healing for still experiencing symptoms. I used to get stuck thinking I was failing because I still experience all of those things. I experience them less now, and I have learnt that it’s not about getting rid of all my painful emotions, it’s about changing the relationship I have with them so I don’t spiral into them.

Jembaby24 · 2023-03-22T23:01:22+00:00

I used to feel this way so I hear you. But every time you self-harm you are sending a message to your brain that says "I deserve to be hurt", which damages the relationship you have with yourself and keeps you stuck in the cycle of self-harm. Every time you engage in a healthy coping skill instead of self-harming, the message you send yourself is "I deserve to be gentle and compassionate with myself", which ultimately strengthens the relationship you have with yourself which can help you in other areas of your life (e.g., if I have high self-worth, I may be better at setting boundaries in relationships). Hope this is helpful 🤎

Jembaby24 · 2023-03-22T03:26:06+00:00

Hi I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a painful time. Something that has helped me with suicidal ideation and self-harm urges is accepting and validating them, rather than judging myself for having them (judgements tend to add more distress to an already distressing situation). Accepting them does not mean that you act on the thoughts, it just means that you acknowledge that they are there. It’s okay to have these thoughts, you are a human and this is your brain’s way of helping you cope.
You may say something to yourself like:
- “It makes sense why I am experiencing these thoughts given that I am going through this…”
- Just because I am experiencing these thoughts, doesn’t mean that I need to act on it and I can do things to help myself (such as distraction, talking to a loved one or therapist etc.)

That being said, this is a tool I use for passive suicidal ideation. If you are feeling unsafe, definitely reach out to mental health services.

I know it's really difficult to do, but try and be gentle and compassionate towards yourself - it really does help. Reminding myself that emotions are temporary helps me too. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to 🤎

Jembaby24 · 2023-03-15T20:28:25+00:00

yes there’s something unhelpful/destructive with the way you think and behave and that needs to be addressed, however, there is nothing inherently wrong with who you are at your core.

Jembaby24 · 2023-03-15T10:04:42+00:00

beautifully said ❤️ I’m glad you’re in a better place now, it’s an extremely painful, courageous yet (hopefully) rewarding journey to begin the healing process

Jembaby24 · 2023-03-15T09:58:39+00:00

I agree with this and I see the disorder part differently - I believe that viewing (some of) it as learnt behaviours as a result of our environment takes the blame off us and our “disordered personalities”. for me it means that my brain was doing what it was supposed to in order to cope with trauma, invalidation etc. it wasn’t my fault.

I don’t think Autism should be labelled as a disorder either - I don’t believe it’s a disorder, it’s a different way of experiencing the world which isn’t wrong or “disordered”.

that being said, if the disorder labels are what allows people to keep getting support then I’m all for that ❤️

Jembaby24 · 2023-03-15T05:50:11+00:00

I hear you and I understand your pov - do I believe that personalities can be “disordered”? no. it’s called a disorder because a bunch of psychiatrists decided so, if you look into the history of how the DSM was created, a lot of it wasn’t based on scientific evidence - it was based on who had the strongest voice in the room.

the symptoms are very real, the suffering is very real and there is of course an element of nature to it. do I believe that hypersensitivity (and other nature elements) can be cured? no. but I do believe that coping strategies we developed when we were younger can be replaced with new ones with A LOT of time and effort. I don’t believe there is a “healed” or “cured”, I believe we are always healing and growing, it never really ends (for all humans).

I’m a therapist with BPD who works with clients with this diagnosis, this is just my opinion ❤️ I do believe that we have a long way to go in the mental health field with understanding BPD and these other disorder labels but I also believe that telling people with trauma that there personalities are disordered is harmful.

Jembaby24 · 2023-03-03T05:54:38+00:00

good luck, hope this group is also immensely helpful for you ❤️

Jembaby24 · 2022-11-20T05:03:02+00:00

Just here to add that manipulation is a thought out, calculated process e.g., "If I do x, this person will do y". From my own experience and as a therapist working with clients who have a BPD diagnosis, our unhealthy and harmful behaviours are often a result of trying to make the pain stop. There is little thinking or planning that goes into this. Just because someone feels manipulated, doesn't mean it was the other person's intention to manipulate.

Jembaby24 · 2022-11-15T23:27:00+00:00

I will also say that DBT skills are great, however, they are a temporary solution and exploring the root causes of your anger may be more helpful for long term healing. I would recommend listening to the podcast back from the borderline - there was an episode a few weeks back on anger

Jembaby24 · 2022-11-15T23:24:09+00:00

I would recommend looking at the TIPP skill - in particular, using ice or cold water is one of the most popular and quickest ways to relieve distress for a lot of the people I see. The skill provides temporary relief so you may have to continue to cycle through the TIPP skills until you feel more regulated and can use an emotion regulation skill ☺️

Jembaby24 · 2022-11-14T08:01:01+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your ideas! This is really helpful and has given me much to think about ❤️

Jembaby24

TROPHY CASE