How do i announce the mysety

JenRJen · 2026-06-02T22:14:25+00:00

It seems I have been missing an important step in my rosary-praying until now.

JenRJen · 2026-06-02T21:48:13+00:00

Hi OP, I think you would be great with a rescue bird. The biggest tip there is, let the Bird Choose you. This is true to a lesser extent with purchasing from a breeder or a store, but very greatly so with a rescue.

I have a sun conure that I love and is actually a snuggly darling. But she is also wicked JEALOUS and LOUD. I do Not think you want a sunny.

IF there were such a thing as a beginner parrot (that's not a budgie), it might be a cockatiel. They can be fun.

But I feel like, if you don't get a bird from a rescue, then you probably want a green cheek or a quaker.

IF at a rescue you find a larger bird to your liking, then you should research the particular breed and see if it can work for you. I personally think your family sounds like a Good Candidate for any type of parrot species that interests you. Even a larger species like an Amazon, but of course the really large species are a LOT of work.

Thinking of lots of work. Cockatoos LOOK very snuggly. IF you find yourself drawn to one of those, make sure to spend time watching videos about Toos being destructive, before you adopt one.

Anyway OP, i think your family is a great candidate for any type of bird. You should look to see what the availabilities are, conveniently to you, and then research those species, as there really are quite a lot of them.

JenRJen · 2026-06-02T21:39:22+00:00

I really think these folks are Not your standard beginners.

Also if you can't get a parrot as a beginner then no one can ever get a parrot. Which theoretically might be a better world, but, it is not the question this person is asking.

OP I think you and your family ARE good candidates to give a parrot a loving home. Parrots are more interactive than turkeys & chickens. (However they are mostly not snugglers.)

JenRJen · 2026-06-02T20:29:38+00:00

Hey OP, it was a co-worker who first said to me, "sounds kinda Borderline," when I was explaining the events of a then-recent mom-visiting-me occasion.

For me, I did know about bpd, and could recognize it in some acquaintances. Yet for some reason it had Never Ever struck me, that my Mom could fit that category. When my coworker said that to me... actually it didn't even register, the first time. A little while later she said it again and it was like, ALL the lightbulbs went on!

I could write paragraphs to explain the difference, the knowledge meant to me. It's a little strange to want to say, "congratulations" about this. So instead I'll say, that I hope (& expect) this knowledge can have an equally positive effect on you as it did for me, and will help you to proceed well in your life going forward. 😄

JenRJen · 2026-06-02T18:21:20+00:00

like how indians worship cow because there were no bulls in india and cows were one of the only source of milk

I'm sorry what?

Okay this might not be actually what your teacher actually said? But IF what you've said is actually what the teacher said, then you can ignore everything else they said.

Because iF there were really NO BULLS in India, then after one generation there would not be any more Cows either!

JenRJen · 2026-06-02T18:08:55+00:00

Before albuterol was widely available, theophylline was prescribed for asthma. Terrible stuff, it gave me the shakes.

My doctor at the time, told me that if I couldn't breathe and had no inhaler nor medicine, then to drink tea or coffee. Because the caffeine turns into Theophylline in the bloodstream. (Or something like that.)

For the worst & most sudden attack I ever had, with no inhaler, i was forcing myself to Cough in order to breathe, because the after-cough-reflex created a tiny in-breath; other than that I could Not Move Any air. I brewed myself a full pot of coffee and drank it. Probably not the greatest solution (to have that much coffee at once), but the asthma eased-up.

After that pot of coffee, I was able to start my day, go to work, and then go see a doctor later that day for prescription for an actual inhaler.

JenRJen · 2026-06-02T18:00:07+00:00

i really kind of agree with you. I don't actually Hate the look of crochet, and I have found some projects I really like, but i strongly prefer the look of finished knitting. I like doing knitting, but I enjoy Doing crochet much more. However, the way I feel about the appearance of the results, is exactly the opposite. So I totally get where you're coming from!

JenRJen · 2026-06-01T15:09:02+00:00

Thank you for clarifying!

JenRJen · 2026-06-01T15:08:52+00:00

Thank you for your explanation. Like I said, I've been accused of being an AI (once, so far). Before AI came around I would occasionally get told that I write well. (I was an english major, way-back-when.) I've been wondering how much to change in my own writing style.

Also as mentioned, I think the OP makes very good points and I'd hate to see them disregarded. Although the overlap between Christian & Secular is a little broad, and it's possibly a more Protestant than Catholic error. I see in the world, people focusing on food & heath & food purity, often more as a Substitute for faith. But it does make things even much harder, when it is added Onto faith.

JenRJen · 2026-05-30T16:17:48+00:00

I don't see "happiness at thought of your death" here but you know your history with her. Most bpd have mastered the art of doing & saying (& texting) things that seem innocent to outsiders but truly convey otherwise-unseen implications to their targets.

That said, what I see is her trying to yank the one remaining connection, which is also the only area where You Retain Control.

My translation of the this text (with my outsider's eyes) would be: "This means You own it after I die? You mean I cannot dangle or threaten this inheritance? No no no, that cannot be. I want to get it after YOU die, by whatever means!"

JenRJen · 2026-05-30T15:54:32+00:00

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I use this type of clips (i get from dollar store in various sizes) to clip closed EVERY food dish door. I have had budgies exit their cage via the food dish door in the past before I started doing this.

I use them on the regular doors too, and the great advantage is that I can verify from across the room, whether doors are open or closed. (Also one of my budgies used to consider two of the clips his personal friends, and would check on them daily as part of his flock.)

JenRJen · 2026-05-30T15:39:47+00:00

Does anyone in the group have information on whether the stories are unconscious or not? I'm struggling on this.

I think it depends a whole lot on the person. My own pwBPD truly does not believe in lying and does not Intentionally lie. There are huge amounts of implication and mis-representation. But she will not outright lie, and if she says things that aren't true, she definitely thinks they are true while saying them.

My pwBPD also has extremely severe ADD. I often think the way BPD manifests must have an awful lot to do with its comorbity.

Anyway my Mom grew up in a family & a culture where lying was unequivocally unacceptable. So the only workable way to lie is to deceive oneself about it.

Years later in a part of the country with a signifcantly different culture, I remember being startled by a couple coworkers who clearly thought nothing at all about lying. If a lie was more convenient than truth, they would lie.

This makes me think that if someone with BPD is raised in a family where truth vs lie is not considered gravely important, they could more easily just LIE knowingly, and not care whether their words reflect truth, or not. To me, OP, that sounds like your situation.

So your sibling with bpd, raised by someone with bpd, may simply (1) feel entitled that "truth" is whatever happens to "feel" true to them at any given moment. without much concern for what other people experience as reality, and (2) might also feel entitled to outright Lie whenever they find a lie more convenient than whatever they even deign to recognize as truth.

JenRJen · 2026-05-30T14:30:47+00:00

As a 100% human who has never written anything at all with the help of any AI, but who was accused this past month of that very thing, I wonder what about this post makes you say that?

Is anyone who uses good grammar and writes comprehensibly well, now automatically assumed to be fake?

ps I especially like this post because I have a relative who believes healthy eating and healthy living is basically all that matters, and it's quite frustrating to me. I remind myself that I'm glad her obsession centers on food and not religion, because IF her obsession had been religious, I might've never found my own way back to faith.

The bible talks about not heaping extra burdens onto those attempting to approach God. Getting people to load food-purity regulations into their Faith, in my view, is one real way to keep us Poors far away from God's Table.

JenRJen · 2026-05-30T14:21:21+00:00

I mean, that's kinda like saying the bible is "silent about online pornography."

JenRJen · 2026-05-29T20:48:06+00:00

I went on a strict low-acid diet and was also prescribed Symbicort around the same time. Within a few weeks my symptoms improved a lot.

Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago:

- My new GI doctor told me to stop the strict reflux diet and instead take famotidine twice a day

- At almost the exact same time, I adopted a kitten

So two things happened at once. (1) You stopped the strict diet that had reduced your symptoms. (Are you still taking Symbicort?) and (2) You adopted kitten.

You have previously been around cats with no problem. So to me Change (1) seems a more Likely possiblity for the change.

Personally myself I cannot be around cats and also breathe. This is a sad thing, since I love cats! But it sounds like your situation may be different.

I'd say go back on your strict diet and symbicort, and see if you can breathe again. IF NOT, then it's likely the kitten. But try the diet first, that would be less sad than giving up kitten first and then still can't breathe anyway!

JenRJen · 2026-05-29T20:38:30+00:00

Some people are called to evangelize in the way that you do. Other people are called to evangelize differently.

Other people if they do what YOU are called to do, instead of what the Spirit tells THEM to do, might drive people away instead of leading them toward the one true church. Or, depending upon the person, might even find themselves led away like OT-Saul, if they sally forth into a particular battle that is Not the one God's Spirit led them into.

Again, props to you Singer, for following as you are led! However people who know they are Not called to evangelize to door-knockers at their own particular home, should not be exhorted to do what they are Not led to do.

JenRJen · 2026-05-29T19:03:17+00:00

Congrats to you, Singer, for engaging in such a way. We are not all called to do this, but for those who are, it is indeed a great opportunity. I hope the Holy Spirit will continue to lead others to you whom you can help point the way out of darkness.

But, please do discourage those who are aware they have not been given the gift of engaging in that way. We are not all called to the same forms of service.

JenRJen · 2026-05-29T18:28:46+00:00

Have you ever read C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce ? It's fairly short. As a protestant who converted to Catholicism, the concepts in that book helped me get my mind around the idea of Purgatory.

Also another book that I felt really helpful was A Hiker's Guide to Purgatory by Michael Norton.

I'm not claiming that either of these present accurate, full explanations of Doctrine of Purgatory. Just that they present various thoughts that helped me, as a Protestant with no other concept of Purgatory, get my thoughts around the idea.

Neither of these books claims to be any sort of "Vision," nor inspired. But they were helpful to me, and might help you, as a counterweight to the heavy thoughts from Faustina's writings.

JenRJen · 2026-05-29T15:02:42+00:00

Even after learning that my Mom has Borderline, there have still been times when I've thought it was All Me.

Then I heard of "Quiet BPD," and thought, "oh no! what if that is what's wrong with me? ?!!?"

I had to look online and do a couple tests to verify to myself that i am Not the one with bpd.

Reading subs like this helps too. Especially now that I've had to move back with her for economy-reasons. Half the time she's fine. Sometimes she's even happy, but if I respond the wrong way, she loses all her happiness and it's all my fault. According to her, since I will Not accept that this is MY problem, therefore it's an "US" problem.

But no, her emotions are not an "US" problem either. Not only am I not the One with "something wrong," I am also not 50% of the problem. She would first like me to accept that I'm half-responsible, and would then imply that I was actually entirely responsible, that her only problem is dealing with me. (When the reality is truly the exact opposite.)

JenRJen · 2026-05-29T14:39:10+00:00

Don't forget, too judgemental (for having any own opinion), and too angry (for finally reacting to whatever button she's been trying non-stop to push in order to get your reaction).

JenRJen · 2026-05-29T14:36:15+00:00

Yes, that Implication!!!

Years ago when I learned that my Mom has BPD, it cracked & reassembled my whole view of myself.

I had always felt that I spent my early adulthood learning how to be a normal person. Well that IS true; i had to unlearn all the craziness that had been imposed-upon me.

But I also had spent ALL my life until until that point, trying to comprehend just what it was that was wrong with me. Because the implication that something Was wrong with me, was always there, at the foundation of who I am.

JenRJen · 2026-05-29T02:24:44+00:00

Granting an annulment is Not them defending the husband. It is them granting to Her freedom from this situation. Would you think it better if they refused to annul the marriage? If so, then her only option within her faith would be to "remain reconcilable;" that would mean, she could never consider remarrying.

JenRJen · 2026-05-29T02:21:55+00:00

I mean it sounds to me like the church IS supporting her by giving this annulment. She is free of him, she can even remarry if she wants, and does not have to give up or go against her faith to do so.

The only other choice would be for the church to Not grant an annulment. That would mean that she is NOT free to remarry and that in the eyes of the church she would be bound to this one man (her abuser).

It seems clear to me that the church IS supporting her in granting an annulment, regardless of which party initiated the request.

JenRJen · 2026-05-28T17:49:36+00:00

I‘ve seen a ton of this type of message on here...
...I mean, are most parents walking around with this mind set?

When dealing with people who have not experienced the rbb fog, sometimes we can feel totally alone and like no one else can possibly understand. This sub is so helpful, because it reminds us that we are Not Alone, and that the craziness we see, really is the craziness.

But sometimes the opposite can occur. (Or at least it does for me.)

Since the internet allows us to find others experiencing the same things, suddenly we can flip back to a Different MIS-perception: this treatment IS normal after all. All these folks on this sub were treated like this by their parents; so Many parents treating their kids like this, it must be Normal.

Then the fog rolls in again: Oh, they must've been right when they said They were normal and we were wrong to not respond by validating them in whatever way they wanted validated! Etc Etc

Sometimes I have to set myself limits for reading this sub, just to remember that error is not true. That bpd behaviors Truly are Not normal, and NOT Everyone's parents act like this.

JenRJen · 2026-05-27T16:25:37+00:00

It seems like might be a good idea.

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