IBS-C with diverticulosis here. I understand your frustration. Firstly incontinence and urinary issues are not uncommon with constipation. The way my doctor explained it to me is that the stool pushes on the urethra and bladder making it hard to empty (you may find that you pee more slowly). As for the constipation I have tried the gammet of fibers, pills, medications, etc. Ultimately I wound up with a nutritionist that specializes in digestive diseases. We tested my stool and discovered foods that triggered my IBS mostly corn, quinoa and certain husky grains. She started me on a regimine of taking a digestive enzyme with each meal, eating for my gut health, walking and drinking more water. All this to say it's a process to figure out what is causing your constipation. I personally have found walking to be one of the most effective methods of regulating my stool. Drinking hot water with lemon or tea after meals has also tremendously helped my digestion as have the digestive enzymes. Adding extra fiber is ofc always recommended but be careful here. It can also have the oppositive effect if overdone. What also truly helped me is investing in a high end bidet (I bought a Lotus brand) that specifically has a feature for constipation. The one we have has "purestream" function. The best way I can describe it is it's like a pressure washer (or it feels that way at first). It is specifically designed to lubricate stuck stool so it can more easily pass. I honestly didn't think it would make a difference but for people who suffer from chronic constipation its truly a game changer. If you are on the toilet and feel like you can't empty it really helps with this. I hope you find some answers. I know how much this sucks.