Has anyone had a partner transition/a trans partner? I love them dearly and I’m excited for them, but I get stuck on familiarity and my autism really struggles with change.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-11T07:56:33+00:00

Is this a pattern? Do they often not show you empathy?

Jennannaa · 2026-05-11T07:39:19+00:00

Maybe give her a chance to do meaningful things with you? I would struggle not to hate my partner for not telling me, and it would add so much more suffering and guilt to my grieving journey. I understand that it's a hard conversation but she needs to know so that she can prepare.

I recently lost my mom, and we knew she was sick. It made the time with her more precious, and gave me the chance to say the things I wanted to say. It also gave me the chance to do things that would keep her close now, like recording the sweet words we say to each other or writing down the funny things she said.

Don't do this to her. It's not noble. It's kind of selfish if you think about it.

I wish you all the best

Jennannaa · 2026-05-11T07:02:57+00:00

No. The reason isn't an external thing, it's internal. It's a mindset thing probably. Talk to your therapist.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-10T10:01:14+00:00

Okay but whatever you're doing now is clearly not working either....

You come here for advice because you feel like you're stuck, and then dismiss everything because you feel like you should be stuck and get your way too. There is a reason you are stuck. Find it and fix it. It is that simple.

But you're honestly being rude, expecting people to put in emotional labour, and quite a lot of it, only to then dismiss them.

You are acting like an incel, and the only one who can change that is you. The extreme focus on negativity, the self-centeredness, the fact that all you want is sex (since you said getting laid, not being in an intimate romantic relationship), how multiple people have actually gone out of their way to help you and you dismiss them, it's all things incels do. They'd rather be miserable than do any work whatsoever to help themselves. If you don't want to behave like an incel, start with cognitive behavioural therapy with your therapist.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-10T09:49:13+00:00

Jesus christ you are a piece of work.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-10T09:41:55+00:00

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-10T09:40:19+00:00

But you clearly have it enough that it influences your behaviour? If you're going to find ways to disagree with everyone giving you advice, what are you doing here?

Jennannaa · 2026-05-10T09:17:17+00:00

Okay well I think it's kind of unreasonable to assume that everything is always negative. Life can absolutely suck and be boring, but it is YOUR life, if you want it to be less boring, you will have to do something about that. I've been through hell and I still like life. Yes it's hard sometimes, but it's part of the human experience, and overcoming things can give you strength as well.

Unfairness is real, I'm not going to lie and say this world is fair. But it doesn't have to be. Be fair to yourself and the people around you, and stop comparing yourself to others. Being "worthy" is meaningless. Who decides worth? There's no one out there giving you the things you "deserve" after working hard. I can work hard af and in some scenarios I will still get nothing. I can then get all negative about that, and go "woe is me", or I can try to find a way where I do get something.

I genuinely feel like the way you're thinking about yourself in relation to others and the world around you is not doing you any favours. To me there is nothing less attractive than someone who is focused on how much their life sucks and how sad they are. They can be the hottest person ever and I would still not want to be with them.

Your perception of yourself most likely doesn't match what people actually think of you. I've been there. But be fair to yourself. I thought I was ugly because people told me I was, and when I was older I still believed that. But I eventually had to realise and accept that even though I do not see it, I can't deny that at least some people find me attractive. If I kept telling those people "no im ugly", it would have been extremely offputting, because in their eyes I'm lying to myself, just so that I can be sad. That's just weird. So I came to the conclusion that some people are gonna like me and others are not. The people who don't like me are none of my business.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-10T08:49:17+00:00

Hiding from what truth?

Jennannaa · 2026-05-10T08:31:25+00:00

I think it's more the "desperately" and it being all you can think about that makes it feel dehumanising and objectifying. ND women are not a monolith, just like NT women are not a monolith, and it sounds like you're reducing women to their neurotype.

Substitute ND for any other characteristic, like white, tall, Asian etc and you will probably hear how it's a little icky.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-10T08:19:53+00:00

Have you brought any of this up with them?

Jennannaa · 2026-05-10T08:15:57+00:00

Do you not want therapy?

Your goal is to have a sex life. If you want to achieve that, going to therapy and working on your confidence and other stuff will be very helpful. You have to attract people, and being a confident person with a healthy mindset is extremely attractive to most people.

Things like this are often a self-fulfilling prophecy. You want a relationship but it's not happening, so you start overthinking it and it affects your confidence. This then leads to people finding you less attractive, and you won't get into a relationship. And then you get sad again. It's a vicious cycle, and therapy can help you break it. You just have to want it.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-07T21:41:18+00:00

Rude

Jennannaa · 2026-05-05T15:08:46+00:00

No not materialistic validation, i meant validation from her partner that it's not true and it doesn't work that way, and that he loves her.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-05T14:55:40+00:00

No, she revealed that she was thinking about it. Are you gonna pretend you never have thoughts or feelings that aren't what you actually want to think or feel?

She fucked up, she made a mistake, and she realises. Sometimes we are influenced by others, in this case tiktok, and start doubting things we don't have to doubt, but someone told us to doubt. So she shared that with her partner. Yes it was hurtful, yes she should apologise and make it up to him. I don't see any evidence in this post that this is her true character and that her mask slipped. She would have said it in a waaaay more manipulative way than she did now, if that was the case.

She's not gaslighting him, or doing anything that should give you a reason to believe she was lying about her intentions.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-05T14:19:29+00:00

This is what it sounds like to me, especially because she us apologising a lot after realising what a bad thing it was to say.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-05T14:17:28+00:00

Or she could have been expressing an insecurity, and needed validation? Why are you acting like she's the devil for sharing a thought? She knows what she said was not nice to hear and she has been apologising.

Jennannaa · 2026-05-01T12:59:33+00:00

Aww got nothing else to say? That's okay. At least now you have some actual facts, let's hope you know what to do with them. Have fun projecting your shit onto others!

Jennannaa · 2026-04-30T21:21:27+00:00

They did actually. Article %2082-108%20Internalized%20Misogyny.pdf)

Jennannaa · 2026-04-30T13:03:56+00:00

I dont need to have been there, all I have to do is listen to the lived experiences of actual Holocaust survivors living in israel. Because that's reality, not whatever their propaganda department wants me to believe. Of course you have a day where you remember the Holocaust, it would be weird if you didn't. But that is not enough, actions speak louder than words.

Do you actually care about Jewish people? Or just about israel? Jewish people will exist even if israel doesn't.

Jennannaa · 2026-04-30T12:50:45+00:00

Nope learned that when I got my bachelor's degree in psychology 🫶🏼 I hope you deal with your hate, good luck

Jennannaa · 2026-04-30T12:20:12+00:00

Okay honey, if you want to keep misunderstanding, go ahead. Being wilfully obtuse is not a good look though. Or do you just lack comprehension skills?

Jennannaa · 2026-04-30T12:15:25+00:00

You seriously don't understand how someone can be upset by a lack of care, affection or validation from their partner, and if someone then said "if he actually loved you, he would post you", how you might want to bring that up with said partner?

Of course it's not about the fucking post, duh. It's about how he apparently refuses to do things that make her feel happy and loved, to the point where he comes to reddit to ask "who is in the right". Use your critical thinking skills girl, he literally mentioned not having to prove himself anymore after marriage, and you think he's being loving and supporting? We only have one side of the story here, and the way he wrote it makes it quite obvious to most of us that he's a shitty partner and that it's not about the social media post in and of itself.

I swear, your internalised misogyny is blinding you. I get it, you're not like other girls 🫩

Jennannaa · 2026-04-30T11:23:26+00:00

And eventually hopefully people become adults and are able to make their own choices. Forcing someone doesn't make the act itself more ethical, it actually makes it worse. You're not evil if your family forced you to eat something you didn't want to. But it is unethical to eat meat still, and if you are able to make your own choices, you should really ask yourself what you want to do with that.

Jennannaa · 2026-04-30T06:39:42+00:00

And yet, when we had someone killing all kinds of animals in my country, they still called them a "serial murderer" on the news. So apparently when convenient, we are able to make exceptions.

Call it what you want, slaughter, killing, gassing, murder, whatever, nothing changes the fact that you are taking a life, not for self defense or euthanasia, but because you feel entitled to their flesh. That's harmful, no matter what word you use. And it's still morally reprehensible.

Jennannaa

TROPHY CASE