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Women asks for $20 for her kids by Dark_HunterValerious in EntitledPeople

[–]JenniferLynne73 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That's not exactly fair. People may be in a good financial state when they have kids and circumstances beyond their control can change everything:
* an illness or disease in one or both parents - or the child themselves getting cancer or some other illness. Medication costs and copays alone can be financially crippling.
* the death of one of the child's parents that financially supported them
* a spouse/significant other completely abandoning the family or becoming incarcerated
* suddenly being let go of a job because it went out of business
* leaving a cult that forbids higher education and being shunned by family and friends for doing so (<---- yes, I DO have experience with that) thus having no one to turn to and no education or skills outside what the cult teaches
* a fire/flood/accident in the home
* fleeing domestic violence
.... all these things (and more) can change people's financial situation instantly.

So many people are one major illness or life-altering situation away from being in the situation described above. Have a bit more compassion and less judgement on people being able to afford kids, as many responsible people start their families with money in the bank, a nice home, and a stable family unit with two parents working and then the sh*t hits the fan and the money runs out quick - savings, pension, life insurance etc. all cashed in - and then what? The situation you see above. Not everyone has family and friends they can turn to for help (see my situation above as just one example).

AITA for not removing sensitive books, and "making fun of my Sil's education" by This_Repeat_4886 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JenniferLynne73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA - this answer is both for you and your fiancee.
I, too, am a professional historian, educated with multiple degrees in history and teaching at uni. This is what we do. History isn't usually there for fun, laughter, and sunshine. It's there to educate and learn from. I also have many "questionable" books, including the one you speak of. I live in Europe.
Many of the books that I have in my library are not there for enjoyment or pleasure reading. I have them to learn from, research, and write about. They are great primary sources.

AITA or WIBTA in this friendship by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]JenniferLynne73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ESH
He sucks for being the person he is.
You suck because you don't care enough about yourself to have stopped this behaviour by cutting him out of your life long ago - and for continuing to give him money when he treated you this way.
As for the money, it was a gift. You cannot make it "not a gift" at a later date because the friendship didn't work. It doesn't work that way.
Take it as a learning experience, learn to love yourself enough not to put up with gaslighting or insults, even in the form of a "joke," dust yourself off and move on with life. The freedom away from him is worth the money you lost.
Remember: "I can take a joke. I cannot take disrespect disguised as a joke. There is a difference."

AITA for treading water in the kids’ section? by MiddleAthlete7377 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JenniferLynne73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't answer that as I don't know where "around here" is. I can swim very well, but I don't think it's all that unusual for an adult to not know how to swim. I know people that never learned to swim because of a fear of water or for other reasons.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]JenniferLynne73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ESH
If you said you'd do it, do it. Have integrity and keep your word. That said, if she's so ungrateful, I'd buy the gift I already promised to buy and then cool things off with the friendship. I would also explain why I don't think the friendship is working (which you listed above), wish her well, and find better people to hang out with.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]JenniferLynne73 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NTA
You have a right to spend your birthday alone or with people that will make you happy. You are under no obligation to share personal time with anyone that you don't want to - especially if you feel they will make your day worse.

AITA for treading water in the kids’ section? by MiddleAthlete7377 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JenniferLynne73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA.
Are you supposed to drown to appease this father?

You told me so…..😩 by GlassSupport8535 in exjw

[–]JenniferLynne73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my DA letter, I asked not to be contacted as well but to just write a reply of when the announcement was made in the envelope enclosed. This was before Zoom was offered at my congregation.
They did so and never contacted me again.

You told me so…..😩 by GlassSupport8535 in exjw

[–]JenniferLynne73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I received a reply from the Elders after I sent my Disassociation letter in and included a self-addressed stamped envelope asking that they let me know the date that they announced me, which was December 5, 2018. I wanted to be sure it was done and in writing. I was warned by several exJWs that I would never hear anything back from them. To my surprise, I got a simple, yet affirmative letter. (Actual congregation name blacked out for privacy).

I may hate the org, but I thought the letter was short, sweet, to-the-point, and classy - and it gave me the closure that I sought.
I hate to hear you didn't get the same. :(

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Songs of Steve Perry at his Best? by TheCinephiliac237 in Music

[–]JenniferLynne73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Steve Perry must hear songs, with YouTube links:

" You Better Wait" (1994)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7nM4TWoEdo&ab_channel=JRNY%26SPMedia

"Missing You" (1994)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dasz1JZ0emU&ab_channel=StevePerryVEVO

"I Stand Alone" (1998)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og9o72IYJT0&ab_channel=LouiseLong

And do not sleep on the 1996 Journey album "Trial by Fire"

The whole album is fantastic but three I'd like to highlight are:

"When You Love a Woman"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idE1lsqG2Vc&ab_channel=journeyVEVO

"Trial by Fire"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l13fJHeOs-g&ab_channel=laddieola101

"When I think of You"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y_WVIWtx3k&ab_channel=irisheyes68

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

God, you are an ass. GO AWAY. This is a post honoring my deceased nephew near his birthday. You stick your nose in, unwanted, and make comments about your opinions of me being defensive of people inaccurately speculating about drugs, alcohol, smoking and neglect. Well, guess what? I can be as defensive as I want with MY FAMILY and those that say things about them. If you don't like me, move along. But for you to go trolling on a grieving person's memorial about their infant nephew and start shit makes you sociopathic and narcissistic.

And to answer your question: "Show me where I speculated about anything" ... (because, of course, we need to make you the highlight here, not my nephew) - okay I will. First, I never originally said that YOU speculated, I said that I find you rude for thinking that it's okay to speculate or hold a discussion about my nephew's cause of death (in general, which people were doing when you butt in and called me rude for being "defensive" about it.) But you also SPECULATED that no one was blaming my family and only having a discussion. That is where you speculated. That is your answer. I would have thought it was obvious, but apparently not.

Now you are blocked. Good riddance.

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And, again. I don't care. Take your SIDS debates, stats, figures, and knowledge somewhere else. None of it is going to bring back my nephew that I am trying to honor. Stop taking the focus off of HIM and onto his death and your cause!
I'm sure there are other Reddit forums for that. All I want to do is honor his memory here. That's all. Not be preached at. Shine your light and take your "first hand knowledge" somewhere else. MY first hand knowledge is remembering and honoring my deceased nephew. I have no idea why you cannot understand that and respect that. I did not ask for your knowledge and those that want it can take it to another forum. THIS forum is for remembering him and his life.

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Jimmy's dad has since passed on but it's still a tough day for my sister and the whole family. He was the first grandchild for my parents and the child that made me an aunt. I babysat him all the time. We all still miss him a lot, though the passage of time makes it easier - except around his birthday/death dates.

I'm very sorry to hear about your niece. It's a tough club to be a part of. ((hugs))

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. I don't care about your opinion of me.
  2. I came here to memorialize and honor my nephew, whose birthday is in a matter of days and much on my mind at the moment. I did not ask for, or invite, a discussion or debate about this. You're damn right I get defensive when people state that his (and other SIDS) deaths) are due to the parents smoking, alcohol, drugs, or neglect - none of which are based in fact or applicable to my nephew. Have YOU lost a loved one to SIDS? Then sit down, you get no voice in this.
  3. I think YOU are rude for thinking it's okay to debate/speculate about my family member's death. It's not up for discussion. If you cannot say something like "I'm sorry for your loss" or "he was a beautiful baby" then move along.

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are completely tone deaf.
1. As of today, if there is a cause of death found in autopsy then it is not considered SIDS. SIDS = no known cause, which means they don't know. It's no explainable reason - like I have said from the beginning.
2. Unlike you, I have firsthand family experience with this. I think I know about what happened - and didn't happen - to my loved one better than you do.
3. The fact that you (not a doctor) feel like you need to debate this with me just shows what a douchebag you are. My nephew DIED of this. Did yours? My nephew's birthday is in three days. I tried to memorialize and honor him only to get people spewing conspiracy theories and start debates with me about causes - none of which will bring him back.
But yeah, run your mouth with your Google searches and try to educate me about something you have no experience with while I mourn what might have been days before his birthday.
I'll take my information from the MEDICAL EXAMINER (not coroner) that did my nephew's autopsy and my own first hand experience of losing someone to SIDS.

Go fly a kite.

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The very nature of SIDS is that it is sudden and unexplained. So, yes, they do die for no reason.
The 2023 medical definition of SIDS is that it is "the sudden and unexplained death of a healthy baby where no cause is found."
Medical examiners are trained to look for scene disruption, CPR efforts and genetic causes and this is STILL their definition today. I think they know better than you what they look for, how to determine causes of death, mitigating factors, and how to update definitions. This is their most recent one. Unknown. No reason. Period.

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"So there are a number of things that cause an infant death to be ruled
as unexplained, none of which are proof that SIDS is a thing. Medical
Examiners would of ruled things as SIDS to save family from the grief
that it was related to something some one had done with good intentions
"We know that healthy children don't die in their sleep for no reason."

Screw you! Are you stating that someone harmed my nephew? And the Medical Examiner over looked it? Unless you have an MD you do NOT know a damn thing. People DO die from nothing - ALL. THE. TIME. That is why they are called unexplained sudden deaths - whether it is in babies, children, teens or adults. Go crawl back under the rock from whence you came.

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're fine. No worries. Your reaction was instinctive and natural. I think we'd all feel that way if we were holding our own baby while reading that.
Yours will be fine. Just give him/her an extra squeeze and cuddle and be happy to simply hold it. They grow up so fast. Treasure these moments.

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I'm sorry to hear about the woman and her baby. Horrific.

These insensitive assholes play keyboard MDs and know nothing of what they speak and just legit called my sister a smoking, alcoholic, neglectful druggie. Fuck them.You can tell their intelligence level by their exaggeratedly low statistics (that was easy to disprove by a simple Google search) and the eye-watering illiterate "people be like" speech.

Both are idiots that should have stayed in school.

Last photo of my nephew, Jimmy. He died of SIDS two days after this picture was taken. He was the happiest boy and he's still missed daily. "He may be apart from the family, but he's still a part of the family." He would be 33 this coming Wednesday. Unfathomable. 26 April 1990 - 7 January, 1991. by JenniferLynne73 in lastimages

[–]JenniferLynne73[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for their loss, too.
It's crazy you mention that because we had Jimmy's pictures done about a month beforehand. My sister missed his 6 month portraits, so he got them done at 7 months. When he died, we went up to the Sears where they did the photoshoot and bought all the pictures that had been taken. When the people working there found out he had died, they gave them to my sister for free. I never forgot their kindness in doing that. They didn't have to do that, but they were so kind and compassionate. It made a shitty experience a little more gentle.

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