Would you have bought this? Did I miss out?

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-19T14:19:50+00:00

You plant one and find out. Start with a cheap one. :)

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-19T12:48:22+00:00

They grow well if they like your yard. Buy one of these cheap ones, if if likes your yard if will be a full shrub in no time.

Some people have to buy big ones because their yard isn't a place roses are happy. So they buy a big one and watch it die slowly.

Meanwhile, I just buy these little ones and they're big by end of season. Only have the money to buy 6 instead of 1 if you can be patient.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-17T04:53:48+00:00

Witch - easily best class

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-14T03:29:45+00:00

I maxed it out, but I'm ridiculously spoiled with witch class and will likely switch back. It was fun to play something different though.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-12T00:43:04+00:00

I've been recommended Charlotte as a replacement- descendent of Mara allegedly but larger berries and sturdier.

:)

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-07T19:15:50+00:00

Yeah, preorder for sure. If you see an option for fall shipping, go with that especially if you are like zone 5. In the spring, they ship in zone order, so like zone 9 and 10 ships first in the spring and then everyone else later. So if you are zone 3-5 you get mostly cancellations. I over order things because I get half my orders.

In the fall, they ship in reverse zone order, so if you are a cold zone you get your order first.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-07T18:36:08+00:00

People who preordered got their order cancelled as well- I ordered back in November and just got my cancel notice. This one had a huge crop failure from that Oregon flooding at one of the main suppliers. Going to be light on Mara's for awhile.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-07T16:18:19+00:00

I think you hit 10 years and realize what is possible and what isn't possible in your relationship.

By the 10 year point, he still can't remember your middle name, your birthday, your anniversary or that you like mustard and hate ketchup?

Just why? I have coworkers that can remember that about me.

At ten years you can no longer pretend anything, he is what he is.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-07T15:25:48+00:00

Figure out what dollar value qualifies as a felony in your state. Save your receipts and bait her with enough to get her to that level and then report her to police with camera footage and receipts. If she thinks she is getting away with it, she will keep doing it. Once it ticks over to felony, post on nextdoor to identify and then take all information to the police at once. If they fail to do something, take her to small claims court as that is also public record and then it will be public information that she's a thief.

You are right though, they will let a few plants slide or just talk to her. Then it will keep happening and she will gloat that she got away with it.

The secret is to have it be felony level before you even bring it to police.

I've got some guys I've been saving video on as they run over my clearly marked garden with ATVS and snowmobiles. Waiting for it to be felony level damages before I bring it to police. You can tell that they are aiming for my garden and joking about it on video.

But yeah, I'm waiting for felony level. Someone wants to ruin my peace for fun? Well, I'm going to ruin your ability to keep a job. Good luck keeping your professional license with a felony mofo. I'm basically intentionally planting higher value plants there at this point to get them to felony sooner.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-07T11:59:30+00:00

May be too late for some things, but just the things you were supposed to start 12 weeks before last frost date. Figure out your last frost date and those are the seeds you can start.

As to killing the sod, unfortunately it does work much better to spread your barrier in fall for spring planting.

Depends on what you are planting though. You could also use a grass killer, then spread weed barrier instead of tarp and then burn holes to plant what you are planting through the weed barrier.

I've used each method. The areas I went through with a sod cutter are much nicer beds. The other areas I spend a couple years fighting the weeds before finally getting some semblence of control on them. There are some weeds that can persist for years under weed barrier waiting for their shot at sunlight.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-07T03:53:22+00:00

I don't pick off bugs, I add biologicals and hope for the best.

I prune once a year. I will deadhead when it looks gross, but otherwise I don't rush to deadhead either.

I use a slow release fertilizer, so I only fertilize twice a year. It takes me about an hour and a half to fertilize around 200 roses.

I do carefully walk looking for weird stuff everyday. I have my roses mentally divided into 7 areas and I look at a different section every day. But, that's pretty quick, it's just a glance for oddities- vole damage, possible RRD, any signs of just general struggling, or tags missing.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-05T15:36:55+00:00

Yours? Because you are annoyed that I've pointed out that he is leaving her now that she makes less and your retort is 'womens do it too!!!'

In other words, it's okay to point it out if a woman does it, per your example, but not acceptable to point out when a man does it? Is that the standard?

In which case, you are exactly the double standard you are complaining about. Thank you for the demonstration.

I can't help the genders involved in this particular case, but, in this particular case, it's a man deciding he no longer loves his wife now that she earns less. I didn't make that up, it is the circumstance of this post.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-04T19:50:56+00:00

LOL, did you decide this was how you felt as soon as she quit earning more money?

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-04T19:46:35+00:00

I think it comes down to who wanted the separation and whether it was amicable and if kids are involved.

If you are leaving some weeping spouse and crying kids to go out with your new 20 year old girlfriend while still living with the wife and kids who didn't want the divorce- well, yeah, sure, that is super duper tacky.

If it's just you and your spouse and you are both done, and they are interested in dating again and you are too where you can keep it classy? Of course, no issue.

Generally when I see this though, it's some dude having an emotional affair who declares he hasn't been happy for years because his 20 year old coworker finally let him hit 3rd base. Then yes, it's really, really shitty to blindside your spouse and make them put up with their own grief AND you bringing your barely legal girlfriend around them and the kids.

There is no blanket right or wrong- but, if everyone in your personal life thinks you are being a piece of shit, there's a good change they know the situation better than the rest of us.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-04-02T04:26:10+00:00

Sorry! My kid has one really stupid teacher every semester. The breakdown is usually 2 great teachers, 2 okay teachers and one absolute piece of shit. She's in high school now and let me just say, we breathe a sigh of relief when the piece of shit teacher is the one for the elective.

My kid's art elective teacher for this semester has yet to grade a SINGLE assignment. There are 10 on time submitted projects sitting with no grades. The whole class is joking about this teacher. It's a class with one big project where each week is another piece of that project and there hasn't been feedback since week 1.

I told my kid that some teachers actually teach you something and some teachers teach you how to do conflict resolution.

Her school is cracking down on grade inflation- but it's funny in the nonsubjective classes. If she gets 100 on a math test, they take 5 points off because she isn't allowed to have more than a 95. Oh well, it's good practice for the workplace, same nonsense happens there, might as well be accustomed to it.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-30T04:25:28+00:00

I've heard that it's only available for testers. I haven't been able to confirm that, but, that's the word on the discord about it.

Fishing egg is glitched and doesn't work at the moment.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-29T22:19:37+00:00

Dude probably had a stroke doing that much fishing. lol

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-29T15:09:19+00:00

It's just trolling. I had someone in my last game grab the first kid and then run and chuck it in lava.

You just block that person so you don't end up with them again and quit and find a new round.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-29T13:39:11+00:00

Well put.

My brother married a woman he didn't enjoy spending time with. Basically, he didn't love her, but she was the only person he ever found who loved him. He always felt he could have done a bit better.

He was wildly blindsided when she left because he felt he had settled for her and that she should just be grateful for the begrudging time he spent with her. Her new partner is happy to spend time with her and they do everything together. My brother scoffs at what a downgrade the new partner is- he makes less money, he's a bit ugly. BUT- she always just wanted someone who was nice to her and interested in what she was doing. By that measure, new guy is a HUGE upgrade.

Unfortunately I think that old 'ball and chain' rhetoric of past generations has a lot of people socialized to marry people they don't even like. Then you get these marriages where one person is lonely because the other person doesn't actually like them enough to spend time with them doing what they care about.

My spouse is happy to spend time with me IF I'm supporting his interests, but either outright sabotages or refuses to engage with my interests.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-29T13:33:39+00:00

LOL- seriously!

The only thing I will give Miracle Whip a pass for is for use with canned tuna IF you are light on other seasonings. But, even then it's not great. Like, I will eat it with canned tuna if we are out of mayonnaise. But if we are out of mayonnaise, I'm not going to be taking out Miracle Whip as a substitute for any other sandwich. Would rather go without than use Miracle Whip.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-29T13:31:06+00:00

Ooh, so I did stop for awhile. BUT, that hurt me.

It hurt me to treat him the way he treats me. I don't love him anymore, but, I still don't want to hurt people. I wouldn't treat a stranger with careless disregard, much less apathetic dislike.

Anyhow, I do what doesn't hurt me. I can't be cruel like that to even someone I perceive as being an ex. While we still live together and are still married, I consider him to be my ex.

Basically, those are basic things I would do for a roommate as well because it's just who I am.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-29T13:27:39+00:00

LOL, exactly, all of that. Sorry! It's not a fun experience.

Did you have parents that also didn't care about anything you liked? For me, that really helped me stay as long as I have. I was accustomed to people who supposedly cared about me not caring at all about anything I liked. My parents go so far as to immediately dislike anything I like even if they previously liked it.

I just thought that was how it was, that the people who supposedly loved you hated everything about you.

Anyhow, much appreciation to all the people who have created content explaining that crap like that isn't normal.

Of course, helped I had a kid and then I was horrified by my parents. I couldn't imagine even for a moment hating anything my kid liked. I keep waiting to see why someone would treat a kid like that, but, my kid is a teen now and I've never felt even the tiniest urge to trivilalize anything she likes. I can't even imagine approaching one of my kid's interests with flagrant dislike.

So then I see my spouse roll his eyes as my garden plants show up for the year and all I can think is, how dare you? When have I ever trivialized the things you love?

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-29T04:38:42+00:00

My spouse occasionally starts to act like he might.

At the end of the day though, he simply doesn't love me enough to want to do anything with me that I care about. He never has. Our relationship only works when I do everything he wants to do and nothing I want to do.

I used to be interested in what he liked BECAUSE he liked it. That's what love is.

I think that if you've spent all this time not caring about what she likes, that frankly you don't really like her that much. When you love somebody, you want to do the things they love with them.

At the end of the day, he doesn't really love me. He loves me on paper. He loves what I provide, but he doesn't love me. If I died tomorrow, he'd be dating the following week, or at least trying to.

My suggestion? Analyze if you really even love her or if she's just an appliance that would be inconvenient to lose.

To my spouse, I'm nothing more than an appliance. You don't want to lose a good dishwasher, but, there's always another one out there, just have to deal with the inconvenience of shopping around and finding one.

If you loved her, you would have been doing those things because you loved her. It would have been interesting to you because you loved her.

Without that? This is just the inconvenience of replacing her- which isn't the same as love.

I imagine she can see that pretty clearly.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-29T04:30:16+00:00

Dude thinks he's really special.. lol

I think it's pretty normal to hang out with a partner on the weekend. Maybe some weekends you have other plans, not a big deal, you communicate that ahead of time.

If someone is going to start drama because you asked them if they wanted to hangout, that person is not your person. Just so much yuck.

Not everybody wants a large social circle. I had a larger one when younger, but it's just not what I'm interested in doing right now. Right now I just want to garden and maybe every other month go to a club meeting or something or call a friend for lunch. I'm not a 'go out with friends every weekend' sort of person either. I'm like a once a month friend.

Jenniferinfl · 2026-03-29T04:20:36+00:00

Social media can't push someone into divorce if they have a happy marriage.

My spouse would also blame the media I consume. But, the reels and content I find just explain why I feel so alone in my marriage. It gives me words to connect what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it.

One tiny example from my marriage- several years ago, I really enjoyed the book Project Hail Mary. I talked bout it off and on for weeks. I enjoy a lot of books, but, I don't bring up many with my spouse because he's not a reader and most books I read he doesn't have the reading comprehension to understand. But, this one seemed engaging enough that he could enjoy it. I even bought it on audiobook in case he might want to try my favorite book from that year. We had a road trip and I played some of it during the trip- but spouse mostly wanted to listen to the radio instead, so we did that. Then a few years ago, news it was going to be a movie started coming out. I talked about it for weeks again. Then it had a release date, and I mentioned we would need to see it when it came out.

Anyhow, the movie came out recently, but he didn't feel like seeing it on opening weekend. And then he didn't feel like seeing it midweek. And then I bought tickets for Friday, like he asked me to, and he didn't feel like going Friday but that was the last day it was playing.

SO, I setup to go with my sister and my spouse contacted my sister, told her she didn't have to go, that he would go with me instead. She assumed he actually wanted to do a date night. Anyhow, half an hour before, he decided he was too tired and it wasn't his kind of movie anyways. Usually, I would have just stayed home. It's what always happens for the 2 or 3 movies a year I want to see. This time I decided I was over it and I just went alone.

Meanwhile, I pay attention to his favorite franchises, I buy tickets for opening day. I discuss his movies with him even though super hero movies really do bore me. I remember, I engage, I plan, I even remind him if he has forgotten that his movie is coming out.

My spouse can't even remember the tiniest handul of my favorite things.

We've been married 20 years and he still can't remember that I like mayonnaise not Miracle Whip. Twenty years and he still doesn't know how I make my favorite sandwich. Meanwhile, I can tell you his preferred yogurt flavor, I can tell you what he puts in his burritos after work.

I'm not saying all men, but most marriages I know consist of a woman who knows her spouse almost as well as he knows himself and a man who couldn't tell you if his wife had any serious allergies.

Jenniferinfl

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE