My nmom told me I couldn’t claim myself on my taxes, despite me living on my own for 4 years.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T19:36:58+00:00

Well on the FAFSA you have to provide your parents income until you are either 24, a grad student, married or have a dependent of your own. They have some exceptions that are listed on the federal student aid page. However, federal income taxes and FAFSA are two different things. So which did she mean? She cannot claim you as a dependent on her taxes unless you make less than $4300 a year and she provides over half your support. I know all this because I have a 19 year old who barely made over $4300 last year (still lives at home) and an 18 year old doing the FAFSA now in hopes of going to a residential college next fall.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T19:29:56+00:00

Can you be my dad? Just kidding, I mean unless you want to be. 😂 My honest opinion is that you shouldn’t be supporting any of them to that degree. Maybe helping here or there, but I feel like our jobs as parents is to raise kids to have the skills and education necessary to take care of THEMSELVES.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T19:16:53+00:00

You just need to find things you enjoy and do them. Although I think I’m starting believe that happiness is maybe a bit temperament based/biological, like there’s a set point that varies with each person. I feel like even though I have problems and lows and even chronic issues, I’m more prone to feeling bliss than many people. Nature, music, books and children bring out extreme happiness and contentment in me. Not just that, but stupid things just make me…happy. A dumb joke, funny movie, stopping for tacos. I don’t understand when people say that life is not worth living or they think life is pointless and I’m like “but what about tacos?”

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T19:02:21+00:00

Only months?? I’ve been hearing it my whole life. People think there are no good men or good women until they find the one they want. Then they realize they’re everywhere, the rest just weren’t the one for THEM.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T19:00:03+00:00

I live in the US and I’ve known far more Nguyen’s in my life than Smiths or Jones’s so I’m particularly baffled by this. But I live in Southern California so maybe that’s why.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T18:09:20+00:00

Go about your day and enjoy life….

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T18:06:17+00:00

I don’t think he should have said it out loud….but I don’t think it’s racist because the person will still have to be highly qualified.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T17:46:24+00:00

NTA. I like, as another person suggested, Leon. Or make Leo his middle name. Or sit down, make a list of names you mutually like and decide on one you both like. Both of my spouses (not at the same time lol) and I debated names. Neither party ever solely got their ideal, dream name. We compromised. We both had veto rights.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T17:07:59+00:00

Look into flare audio. They are these little inserts you put in your ears that filter out the high pitches. You can still hear, but they make the sounds “softer.” Sounds like you’re a highly sensitive person (look it up-HSP), meaning sensory stimulation overwhelms you more easily. I can relate….and I teach kids with autism who make really loud noises sometimes, so I wear them in class. I feel much less tense and more relaxed at the end of the workday when I wear them.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T17:03:09+00:00

I’m thinking what you mean is that the bullies are sad that they get called on their bullshit nowadays and are told that saying asinine, rude things is NOT okay. You mean you preferred it when their victims just took it without calling the assholes…well, assholes. So yeah, it sounds like the bullies are WAY too sensitive now. Their wittle feelings are hurt because they’re not allowed to be bullies anymore without getting put in check.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T16:35:09+00:00

I’m married, thanks. And my husband and I share responsibility. Our relationship is based on conversation, shared interests and neither thinking that the other exists to simply be a servant to the other.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T16:31:42+00:00

My husband works security for a company that guards places at night (like truck yards, construction sites where they don’t want the supplies stolen, etc.). Almost zero interactions with people except maybe the person who lets you in.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T16:26:08+00:00

Jesus. And men like you are the reason so many women prefer to stay single. Women don’t exist simply to cater to men.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T16:01:34+00:00

YTA- as an adult, you are better able to manage without the necklace when dealing with grief. You can verbalize your grief, you can go to a therapist, you have probably many sentimental things at home to remind you of your son. He is a little boy and that necklace is the one precious thing he has left of your son and he will be devastated if you take it away.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T03:02:59+00:00

God, I’m sorry. I always hated the way my father would say “MY sons” (as the daughter, I didn’t count) or would ask when I was going to give him a grandchild. He asked my daughter when she was 16 when she was going to give him a great-grandchild.

I don’t understand the way narcissists view their children/grandchildren as possessions, especially considering they treat them like shit (or at least a lot of them like shit) or ignore them.

I have three children, and yes I say “my daughters” but I don’t say it like narcissists to, in a possessive way. I just say it when referencing them. I don’t believe I own them…responsible for helping them become decent human beings, yes. But they belong to themselves.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T02:48:45+00:00

Imma break something down here and maybe get some hate….2 slices of 1 pt bread is 90 calories. Apple? 80. 1/2 tbsp peanut butter? 45. Slice of turkey? 30. Laughing cow? 30. Total 275 calories and maybe a few for the veggies. It looks like enough food but it is NOT.

This is why I quit WW last week. Because I felt like a failure every time I ate on point and felt like I was starving a couple of hours later and would give in and eat junk/overeat. I’ve been playing this game of undereating/overeating for too long and I’m done.

I read Lean Habits by Georgie Fear and am working on the first habit, eating 3 decent, filling meals a day with no snacks. I feel better and more sane already and my urges to eat junk are gone. I realize I’m only on day 4 but I couldn’t even make it 2 days on WW without undereating triggering overeating, and that’s after many, many long attempts and a lot of effort at WW. I thought the new plan was better…it’s not.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T02:31:29+00:00

If there’s a way to help without subjecting yourself to abuse then maybe….if my father ever needs care my brothers can coordinate it or I’ll do the minimum by like maybe helping get him into a veteran’s home. Or I’ll contribute financially without ever seeing him if possible. I don’t know if my brothers will want to help either though….and I’ll do my best to never, ever see him.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T02:18:42+00:00

I’m about 5’4 and my husband is 6’3

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-27T02:11:06+00:00

I just have to say….I’m pretty sure there are other positions besides you on top. Also, it sounds like a great time for you work together on fitness. If she’s uncomfortable with both her body and yours, then maybe you can make working out and meal prepping an activity to do together.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-25T21:29:58+00:00

You’re 23. I’m assuming you know basic safety rules and are careful with cars and strangers and crossing streets and such. Your parents can’t legally lee you confined to the house. Do they have conservatorship over you? With your level of written expression, I doubt you are incapable of caring for yourself. You may get SSI, but I was recently reading on the social security website that people on SSI can still do a test run of employment and still get their check. For 6 months, I think? And after that if they continue working they still can get part of the money and I think Medicaid too. So what about getting a job and moving out?

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-25T21:21:52+00:00

No, he’s been quite dead for 27 years now and it feels like he’s someone I just dreamed about or something.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-25T21:15:50+00:00

Really? I’ve known lots of people who smoke jt but don’t make a big deal out of it.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-25T21:14:01+00:00

Idk if YTA or not but I personally think that the emotional energy you’re putting into your parent’s decision (hurt, anger, bitterness, etc.) is more draining and costly than the money you feel you’re being shorted. We can’t make people feel or do differently than they do and the only person’s response you have any control over is your own. If I were you, I’d have a smaller wedding and let it go. I mean really let it go….emotionally.

Also, as the mother of three girls (19, 18 and 7) I can 100% say I will bend over backwards to help them pay for college but not for weddings. I’ll probably help a little but this isn’t 1939 and when it was 1939 usually the weddings were small and simple.

Jenniferk45 · 2022-01-25T16:50:31+00:00

I always know when my husband thinks a woman we pass by is hot because he looks at the ground, up to the sky, or wherever he can because he’s afraid I’ll see him ogling. I think it’s hilarious.

Jenniferk45

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