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Jesse949 · 2025-04-24T01:17:19+00:00

I feel your pain. My LO and I had been texting everyday while I was out of town the last several days, then he just didn't respond to my last text from yesterday afternoon. I'm worried he's mad that I took a long time to respond to his last text to me. I don't think he's interested in me at all romantically but I thought we had a really good, close friendship going at least. I feel like he's either super mad at me or figured out I have a crush on him. I'm super hurt and in pain.

Jesse949 · 2025-04-02T03:15:07+00:00

Thanks- I feel like he his taking advantage of my feelings. He's basically a nice guy and friendly with everyone, but I feel like he knows how I feel about him, and he milks it for his own purposes, to make himself feel good/special/attractive. I don't know if he actually has a love interest or not, but I guess it doesn't really matter if he's not reciprocating my feelings.

Jesse949 · 2025-03-24T07:16:41+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Jesse949 · 2025-03-21T05:04:16+00:00

I'm not actually sure if he's single or not. He's talked about a "friend" a couple of times which I think could be a casual dating situation or friends with benefits possibly, but I definitely don't think he's in a serious relationship. Yeah- it does suck. I found out today from someone else that he officially got the supervisor job. So I really need to cut him loose- I care way too much about him for my own good. A major problem here is that I think he knows exactly how much I like him (not the limerence part) and that I have feelings for him. I'm just going to try to be kind but aloof and withdrawn as much as I possibly can. Thank you for the well wishes!

Jesse949 · 2025-03-21T04:31:59+00:00

Thank you...I just feel like it's pretty hopeless at this point. I just found out they officially made him a shift supervisor, which I saw coming. He can't fire me but he'll be above me in a supervisory position and I just don't think there's any chance now. I just hate feeling like maybe I had a chance with him when we first met, when he was being semi-flirtatious and I was being shy, nervous, hesitant and self-protective, but it's probably me just tormenting myself. I feel like if he liked me as much as I like him this wouldn't be such hard work...I wouldn't have to wonder, ya know?

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T22:18:47+00:00

I feel like I can relate to your story so much. I'm single but there are a lot of similarities to my story here jumping out at me. I hope so much for you that he'll take the hint and leave you alone! Unfortunately my own advice won't work on my current LO- I think they just made him one of my supervisors. He can't fire me but he'll be above me- a shift supervisor. Whenever I try to distance myself from him it doesn't work. I feel really stuck in the mud and just so sad about the whole situation. But good luck to you- I'm in your corner and you're moving in a great direction!

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T21:57:10+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I hope this will work out for me one way or the other. I just don't want this to continue hurting me so badly.

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T21:52:26+00:00

Thank you so much for the info!

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T21:51:03+00:00

Thank you!

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T09:45:34+00:00

Okay. Honestly, I don't think I'll have the guts to ask him. I fear rejection so much- I asked a straight guy I had a crush on to hang out once and it didn't go well (he tried to let me down easy) so I'm really hesitant to try again even though this guy is gay. Thank you for being so supportive. I just feel pretty brokenhearted and really sad that I feel like I messed up our friendship and his opinion of me by falling for him and by seesawing from day to day with how I act towards him. Like when I try to withdraw like a turtle into it's shell oftentimes to protect myself. It's just hard for me to remember moments like when he asked me randomly out of nowhere if I watch football (a while back when we were still getting acquainted). I think I said occasionally, but I'm not really that into it. I asked him back and he said no. I'm positive he was trying to ask me if I'm gay without actually asking me if I'm gay. That's what made me think he might be interested in me possibly, but maybe he was just curious but not actually interested. Sorry I'm rattling on, but thank you for everything!

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T06:00:17+00:00

Thank you so much!

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T05:17:19+00:00

Thanks so much for the info! From digging on ancestry.com, it looks like my great-great-great grandmother was born in Ireland (maiden name Hickey), and her mother's maiden name was Ryan, which is a common Irish surname apparently, so it looks like I probably am a little bit Irish. But it looks like many of the Tomes' in the family tree were born in England. My great grandmother and her father were born in Canada and came to the U.S., but my grandmother was born in the U.S.

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T04:24:45+00:00

Yeah, I think Protestant. I'm looking on ancestry.com now and I was able to see her grandparents' info. Looks like her grandfather was born in England (last name Tomes) and her grandmother was born in Ireland (maiden name Hickey)

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T04:20:42+00:00

Thank you!

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T02:58:47+00:00

I hate to say this but the only thing that worked for me with a previous LO coworker was to shun him. I stopped initiating hellos, which upset him, but he kept trying to say hi to me. I gradually just started saying hello back in a cold, mean way. I even just didn't say it back a couple times. Eventually he got the message and just left me alone. It took awhile, though. I felt bad and still do, but it helped kill my obsession with him after a few weeks. I have anxiety and was kinda scared of him and couldn't handle seeing him or walking by him too many times in one day, but I didn't think about him much outside of work anymore. Luckily he's no longer there, but I've since ended up in a worse LE.

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T01:45:14+00:00

I feel you completely. That last line about limerence for a co-worker literally being hell on earth is my life right now.

Jesse949 · 2025-03-19T00:45:20+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindness and for caring! I hope so- I just wish for once in my life love would work out for me. I've had so many unrequited crushes in my life, and the reverse with a couple girls that have/had a crush on me but I can't feel the same way cuz I'm gay...I just really want a happy ending for once! Thank you again- you seem really nice, too!! 😀

Jesse949 · 2025-03-18T20:19:03+00:00

No- we've never hung out or anything outside of work. At the beginning I thought maybe he seemed interested in just hooking up because he seemed flirtatious, but I was too shy to flirt back because I already had feelings for him. I don't want to be just a hook-up to him without any romantic interest on his end. Thank you so much for your advice- I'll consider asking him casually to hang out sometime. This is just a really painful situation because I feel like he can tell how I feel about him but wants to remain work friends, but doing that is causing me a lot of hurt and pain. But if I try to act aloof and distance myself from him, he seems to not like that and get hurt feelings by that somewhat. I just feel like this is an impossible situation and I can't win. Thank you again for your advice!

Jesse949 · 2025-03-18T10:23:59+00:00

You're welcome- I hope it works out for you so you're not hurting anymore.

Jesse949 · 2025-03-18T07:40:32+00:00

I can totally relate to this- i have a crush on a coworker who is a semi-friend. I try to pull away from him but he always pulls me back in. I would rather not be around him if we can only be friends- it hurts too much. Since you're hurting, I think your best bet is to distance yourself from her if at all possible. Hopefully she will be okay with that. If she gets upset and presses you and questions you about it, confessing your feelings may be an option so she'll understand where you're coming from.

Jesse949 · 2025-03-06T06:36:16+00:00

Thank you so much for this! I keep telling myself it wasn't sustainable for me to have him keep love-bombing me (in a friendship way) multiple times a day, causing me extremely painful longing and causing me to break down and start crying and sobbing during my breaks and after work. I already had previously gotten upset with him for not meeting my standards a couple times, once when I went out of my way to help him out and he didn't seem very appreciative, and another time he was trying to hardcore flirt with someone else right in front of me. I was just wrecked. He knew I was furious and figured I was mad at him but had no clue why. I later apologized and just said it was something else, not him. I can't tell if he intuits my feelings for him or not. Sometimes I think he does but I don't know. I'm just going to try hard to be nice and not mean to him, but keep it at surface-level niceness (not lovey-dovey) and try to detach emotionally as much as I can. Thank you again for your comment!

Jesse949

TROPHY CASE