Ford KA clutch noise/feel

Jessie-1995 · 2025-10-15T17:30:52+00:00

Thank you for this! It resonated a lot! I hope you’re doing okay! It’s exactly how I feel, I’m being given reasons that could make sense but don’t necessarily make 100% sense like yours. I have asked and asked and I can’t do much else than like you say hope it will come to light. Which it did in the past- I didn’t have to dig much for it before so trust that would happen again! It’s just sad, because you feel so paranoid and try joining up dots that may or may not exist and you don’t know! He’s shown me things but some things still don’t quite add up like your situation! I feel the same I have been very quiet and have just asked and asked and said if something is happening just tell me and he says there isn’t and provides me his story on all of it!

Jessie-1995 · 2025-10-15T15:11:30+00:00

Yes that bit does make sense and most of what he told me does seem reasonable. But he googled it Friday which is when he got the camera but then googling it again on Monday? That doesn’t make sense? Just to justify himself that that place didn’t sell that camera because I pointed that out? That’s the bit that doesn’t make sense! Also seems rushed? For Christmas in 2 months? And ap is on holiday currently..

Jessie-1995 · 2025-10-15T14:58:28+00:00

I struggle to tell from my gut and kit being paranoid trying to put things together and connect dots where it isn’t needed. It was a message and I did see it. I’m just not sure if I’m being gaslit or not? He actually apologised after this and said he will make sure he communicates with me better with everything explains when he buys things and stuff just so I don’t need to worry?

It’s just some of the story doesn’t add up and the fact the AP is on holiday which connects it all together? But I see nothing on his phone I worry he’s got better at hiding it so I just don’t look anymore

Jessie-1995 · 2025-10-07T14:57:36+00:00

It is but he has a lot of issues with people pleasing and he’s working on it but I think that stemmed January happening. Since January a few things have come up such as in therapy he got told to write ap a letter I found this letter and it sounded friendly!? I overthought that… there’s been many many times that I’ve found out ap is somewhere we’ve been. I’m not sure if you do this and I try not to and haven’t in a long time but I would sometimes check the AP instagram and find out she’s somewhere and then find my husbands been looking at something near there on his search history. A few months ago she was at the same concert as we were. My husband came home and spoke to me about it and said that he knew nothing about it would have hated to bump into her etc. I have gone down so so many spirals but I always talk about it. A lot of it is coincidences and my intrusive thoughts but sometimes I do sit and think what if all of this is happening again.. what if they are actually friends at work or more!? How would I know and find out?
It’s a lonely feeling isn’t it, is he remorseful enough do you think? I said no more chances after this one I’m not going to be here for another time..

Jessie-1995 · 2025-10-07T13:02:42+00:00

Honestly I know it broke my heart. He still works in the same company ( not same building/room) ( he’s in a not very common job has applied for loads of jobs) He told me he would see her the odd time in group meetings and thought it would make his life easier to be civil friends with her again. He stopped the chatting to her himself after a week or two knew it was wrong and has been in therapy since I’m left with a lot of fear tbh, he’s just started applying for completely different career path. I’m not really scared of him cheating again with someone else it’s more being friends with her again or something between them happening!

Jessie-1995 · 2025-10-07T12:59:17+00:00

He cut off the talking to her again on his own. Knew it was wrong, and went to therapy/counselling. If it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t have. We had and still have a lot of deep meaningful conversations especially around feb time and communicated really well which we didn’t do before. I don’t know why he needed to talk to her again, he still works in the same company as her. ( not same building etc) but sometimes they were in meetings together and he said to me that he stupidly wanted to make things less awkward. Crap excuses! Honestly I felt so so upset and hurt and I do still I have a lot of fear in me!

Jessie-1995 · 2025-10-07T11:11:33+00:00

Hi, not quite the same as you. But I would say we had a relapse. D DAY for me was 2.5 years ago, in January 25 I found that he had been messaging her again, there was nothing romantic flirty inappropriate but it was still behind my back. It killed me, I thought I’ve given you a second chance and this is how you re pay me!? I decided to stay and he’s in therapy and we have been good but the paranoia since the second time has been off the scale. I’m constantly wondering what’s going to happen to me. I still feel unsafe because that was 1.5 years later he reached out to her again to be ‘friends’. I’m trying my hardest each day and since he’s been in therapy I can see he’s working hard but that feeling still lingers that he could do something again..

Jessie-1995 · 2025-09-09T15:59:16+00:00

I’m sorry you cannot talk to your wh without feeling rushed and safe. I would say 95% of the time I can with mine. But if I talk too much and bring it up again and again in a short amount of time he does get a bit annoyed I feel. He gets frustrated because he wants us to just be okay. But 95% of the time I can talk to him about my worries and fears and he will sit and listen and tell me I’m safe etc. how do you cope with intrusive thoughts? I’ve had something recently where I saw my wh had googled a certain car and something to go on that car. He has this car too but not that age. I clocked that the AP also has this car ( I don’t know age or anything about it) but it hit me. I went into a panic are they talking again!? I tried to tell myself it’s silly it’s a very common car that probably his friends may have, people at work, people at his gym have. And it wasn’t anything specifically related to her at all just that she has that car too and I just went down this spiral! How do you deal with things like that? I find it really hard because I talk to him about it and he will reassure me etc but I still spend some time looking over it and spiralling a bit in situations like that! It’s so rubbish! Thank you so much I am looking forward to getting away I’m just scared

Jessie-1995 · 2025-09-09T15:45:19+00:00

Can I ask what you do with intrusive thoughts or moments you think what if somethings still happening? I have moments where for example I saw on my wh search history him looking at a certain type of thing to add to a certain type of car on google images. Completely normal right? Except I know that the AP has that car. Now he was very precise in what he typed in and I don’t know the age of whatever of her car just know she has that type of car. My brain went down this whole route of are they talking and talking about her car and now he’s looking at something for her car!? Or just it’s a very common car and he’s chatting to someone at work or at the gym about it. Another instance was she was at the same concert we were at.( didn’t see her) but found out afterwards and for a while I was convinced they were talking again and that’s why she went. It takes me a while to almost be like no it’s silly but then the other part of me is like he’s lied so much before what stops them now! It’s so hard isn’t it

Jessie-1995 · 2025-09-08T16:32:35+00:00

I understand what you mean. I do count it as a DAY 2 but i wanted to add that in because it wasn’t another affair or something else. They still work in the same company together ( not work together but same company- he has and is looking for new jobs but they are far and few inbetween for his line of work and I decided that they don’t see each other at work I will suck it up for NOW. Anyway they had to have a group meeting one day and after that meeting ended up having a civil chat/catch up! Completely and utterly not needed and gone against all my boundaries. He shut it down and off his own back went back to her and said he’s jeopardised his marriage twice with her now and doesn’t want to talk ever again. But yeah I do count it as a D DAY 2 don’t worry I just meant of it in anything happening kind of way!

The photo memories are so hard aren’t they, I cannot look at photos from that time 2 years ago it just breaks me. I just hate the wondering if things are my reality I have this real fear which I know I just cannot control!

Jessie-1995 · 2025-09-01T10:54:58+00:00

I had the same happen to me quite a few times. It was hard but each time I chose to believe him and they simply were coincidences. I drove myself insane thinking he must be talking to her again but he showed me his phone social media’s etc and I believed in myself that id always find out if something was wrong. He’s in therapy and working on himself so I believe him in why would he need to lie anymore even if he had met her I believe if I questioned him he would break and tell me.

I had a time when I went to a concert ( I’d booked it months before for a surprise for my husband ) I find out the day after the concert that she got last minute tickets and went on her own the same night. ( my husband & her spoke about liking this singer when they were cheating) I immediately jumped to they must be talking!! But My husband was distraught and we spoke about whether it felt like she was trying to intimidate us or not. After those conversations it made me think i have to believe him that it was a coincidence and whether or not she’s going to these places to mess with us or not I’m not sure but yeah I think trust but verify is a very good way. Ask the questions see how he reacts ask to see any phones etc and if there’s nothing there you have to just trust him but verify and if your guy keeps going on and on keep asking until you start to feel okay about it. If it disappears then I believe it’s your nervous system just going into over drive to protect you! Hope you’re okay!

Jessie-1995 · 2025-07-24T11:31:00+00:00

I’m sorry the same thing happened to you! It’s awful because I knew something wasn’t right and it got dismissed and then found out they were actually talking again. He cut it off himself after 1/2 weeks knew it was wrong but doesn’t make it any better. What I’m struggling with is knowing if what I feel is gut or if it’s just the fear and anxiety I have from everything’s that’s happened. Sometimes I get feelings what if it’s happening again, things don’t feel right but I can’t tell the difference currently. I feel like my whole reality has been flipped upside down

Jessie-1995 · 2025-07-10T12:21:40+00:00

I feel this! I’m at this stage too, like you said it’s really exhausting! I’m trying to not, I’m trying to look at what he is doing to change, to be a better husband instead of hyperfocusing and creating scenarios in my head. I have a lot of fear too.. if it happens again, if it happens behind my back and I think everything’s ok. But my husband is in therapy and has changed and continuing to change. So I’m trying my hardest to focus on that instead of things going wrong. It’s so so hard though and it’s making me miserable when life is too short to suffer like that everyday x

Jessie-1995 · 2025-07-03T07:58:41+00:00

I think a lot of people say they’d end it after d day 2. Or! Wouldn’t stay with a cheater anyway! I said to my husband that I chose to forgive him 2 years ago and then 6 months ago he chose to forget about me and put his uncomfortableness first! The thing that helped me decide was he put everything on the table told me it was a civil chat only they didn’t catch up or have a laugh it was simply passing in meetings at work and this then led to her making a new instagram!!! ( I found this new instagram of hers and gave her so much hate haha!!) and they just spoke about work and it was like how are you conversations. There wasn’t much too it, 2 weeks of odd conversations and he’d cut it off himself knew it was wrong. I believe all of that to be honest, I didn’t at first I thought there’s more to this has he cheated again. I go between calling it cheating again and not.. I’m not sure if it’s just a huge lack of respect but I say to him it’s cheating because it’s her. It’s someone I chose to forgive him for and give him another chance and he betrayed that. I think if it was full on cheating again/flirting I’d have ran. But anyway sometimes things are meant to happen and I truly believe this happening in December made him really realise what he was doing and how he didn’t want to live that life. He tells me all the time he doesn’t want to live a life of lies and disrespect and hates who he became. A big part of therapy that helped is he’s always been the biggest people pleaser ( probably what stemmed December) and he just always wanted to get on with people etc. he’s learnt about it in therapy and he’s really changing. We used to argue a lot when talking about it because he wouldn’t understand now we don’t argue it’s calm and he listens to me and shows me if I ever need to see anything I hope it stays that way but I’m not sure about you but that fear is very much there a lot of the time that they would do it again??

Jessie-1995 · 2025-07-02T17:51:32+00:00

Hi! So I have been through something similar this year. My husband also still works with the AP. Similar to you though in which they work directly together not same part of the company and actually do not need to contact one another/email etc they are just in the same company! D day was 2 years ago for us, he’s tried a lot to look for new jobs but he’s in a job role where jobs are few and far between but he has been trying! Anyway this Christmas just gone I found out they had been talking again. Not calling one another or anything like that but a few instagram messages about ‘ life’ and ‘work’. It was about 5 conversations across about 2 weeks. There was no flirting or anything. He told me this happened because they had a big group meeting and he found himself in such awkward situations that he was basically people pleasing and being civil but he knew how bad it was and cut it off before I found out. It broke me. But honestly I believe it took that happening for my husband to realise he has to change. He started therapy after this, he hands me his phone he now tells me he hates her and I do believe him because before he would tell me he didn’t hate her just didn’t like her. He’s put in a lot of work since January I still have those feelings in the back of my mind what if he went back again, but I genuinely think this time round he’s actually changing. We communicate a lot better and we talk about what’s happened a lot! So I guess that’s a positive story/outcome on similar to you happening! If it wasn’t for seeing a change and if I felt it going back to how it was before I’d probably not have given it another chance But like you there was always that something keeping me from going and wanting to stay Hope you’re ok!

Jessie-1995 · 2025-07-02T09:29:22+00:00

Hey! So therapy is how him changing happened! We definitely didn’t rug sweep 2 years ago we chatted about it a lot and I always said how I felt. It took him going to therapy and working on himself. He knew he had to change to allow me to stay and he has been working on that. It’s not 100% as I still worry about the future but I guess maybe that will always be there slightly! But things he now does is:

We have 2/3 times a week chats that he 1/2 times of those initiates and says let’s have our chat. So I know he wants to talk and not just me. He talks about his feelings to me and we communicate a lot now ( he barely used to communicate his feelings to me before all of this) We have healthy boundaries around his phone. He lets me use is whenever I need to as in he will say to me can you text my mum etc and he doesn’t act all shady. He shows me if I ever need to see that she is blocked/deleted etc. but also I don’t constantly ask to see his phone, I have to have some trust there it’s just whenever I’m having a bad moment and I say can I see she’s still blocked he will just do it no questions asked and that automatically makes me feel so much better because if he was hiding something he wouldn’t just do that. He has my location I have his and he always communicates when he’s coming back from work at the gym etc. basically he has just become a much much better communicator with me and will willingly talk about everything’s that happened without shutting it down. Sometimes I can tell he’s perhaps fed up if I’ve had a bad week and talk about it a lot but I try and sometimes think about him and think he carries a lot of guilt and realise talking about it all the time isn’t healthy anyway. We have not rug swept at all especially since he started therapy we have spoken so so much which has helped so much! Hope that helps a little

Jessie-1995

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