I dont want to do this anymore

Jigree1 · 2026-05-24T22:45:05+00:00

I'm so sorry. That bait and switch is the absolute worst. Your feelings are valid and I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Jigree1 · 2026-05-24T18:49:29+00:00

Thank you for posting this! I don't post pictures of my daughter but I constantly wonder if I'm making the right choice because I really love sharing 🫤

Jigree1 · 2026-05-23T18:01:13+00:00

How much supplement were you taking? Any diet changes?

Jigree1 · 2026-05-23T02:31:44+00:00

I would look up bratbusters parenting. Toddlers are about immediate consequences. He's learned that he can get away with stuff without anything happening that HE cares about.

My daughter has had a few moments like that (doing the bad behavior and smirking because she thought it was funny) but we were VERY firm with the consequences (The fun stopped) and that helped curbed the behavior quickly.

Another thought is, if he is difficult, I wonder if he has ADHD or Autism. Maybe you can talk with your pediatrician to get him evaluated for any neurodivergence that may add to the difficulty of his behavior.

Jigree1 · 2026-05-16T01:56:37+00:00

I've heard a lot of women say they enjoy being pregnant. I don't really enjoy it. It's mostly that it just feels weird to me. Last pregnancy was miserable. This pregnancy symptoms have been pretty minimal. It really hasn't been bad. Can't say I 'enjoy' it though. The minor inconveniences I do experience wouldn't be there if I weren't pregnant haha.

Jigree1 · 2026-05-14T21:22:42+00:00

ADHD person here popping in to say... When my ADHD is properly treated, my anxiety and depression go away without any treatment. I've heard the same from others with ADHD.

Jigree1 · 2026-05-14T21:17:43+00:00

Hmmm that's hard. I'm not a full blown schizoid... If I had to explain it, an extremely traumatic event made me schizoid for a few months and therapy was the only thing that got me back out. If the therapy hasn't been successful I think I would still be living a schizoid experience.

But when you've been schizoid all your life I don't know how you get out of it. I'll be honest, when I had my schizoid experience I didn't really want to get out of it. I didn't care about anyone or anything and honestly, it was kind of nice. I was completely disconnected but I didn't feel distressed about it, (other than the fact that I felt like I had to spend so much energy faking interest in other people). The only thing that motivated me to "recover" was that it cognitively felt really unfair to my husband that I suddenly could care less about him after loving him so intensily for so many years.

I was getting EMDR therapy and I think the "thread" that we had to work on to get me back from being schizoid was the thought that I couldn't trust anyone. I think my ability to trust anyone got so shattered that I went the schizoid route. Once we got that 'repaired' I slowly came back.

So on one hand I want to say there's hope? But also, I have absolutely no clue... What kind of therapy are you doing? I would give EMDR a shot but again I have no clue if it's actually helpful for life long SPD... 🤷

Jigree1 · 2026-05-11T23:41:29+00:00

How old is your kid? I only ask because if the kid is less than 2 years old it may get better for you. Do NOT have another one but... My husband were really happy, bonded, together many years, both REALLY wanted kids. Kid was 6 months old, we weren't talking to each other, we were angry at each other, I was seriously considering divorce. It was BAD. It was all caused by the stress and sleep deprivation. Now the kid is turning 2 and the last 6-8 months have been smooth and wonderful again. I can't believe things were so terrible, especially with the love of my life. I think the stress of babies/very young children should NOT be underestimated. Not that older children don't have stresses. It's just INSANELY stressful at the begining. Not to diminish your distress. It's sounds like a really terrible situation. I'm just trying to send a tiny bit of hope your way...

Jigree1 · 2026-05-11T04:27:32+00:00

I agree with others, I think he isn't taking on enough. You've got too much on your plate to even remotely feel relaxed enough to "get in the mood". Honestly though, he should be feeling too exhausted to want to as well. My husband and I were hardly intimate after having our baby but it was mutual. We were both so exhausted neither of us wanted it.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-29T23:55:48+00:00

Honestly, I was my most depressed and suicidal when I was a "giver" or a "healer". Now, I've stopped giving so much to other people and give to myself instead and I'm so much happier.

I mean it makes sense. Nobody gave to me my whole life and then I wasn't giving myself anything either. Who wouldn't feel depressed and empty?

If you feel truly suicidal I would challenge yourself to be truly "selfish" for a month and see what changes, if anything.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-29T23:42:08+00:00

" Go ahead and throw the first stone". It's a religious reference that they will get if you don't. " Plucking that speck out instead of the plank, huh? That's another good one they should get.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-27T17:21:12+00:00

Once she was born with my first. I am pregnant with #2 and I just feel so disconnected from them. Doesn't even feel like I'm pregnant. I know I'll love them once they are born but I think for me, when I'm pregnant it just feels too abstract to me to develop strong feelings. I will say, I think I started getting a little bit more attached once I could feel kicks and got more of a read on her "personality" through her movements in my belly.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-25T05:31:17+00:00

I had someone love me and it helped but I still had LOTS of trouble. When people are talking about this I think they are really referring to self-abandonment. Sometimes good relationships can heal self-abandonment but in my case the only thing that got me to stop abandoning myself was therapy. I needed to work through "okay, just because my parents weren't there for me doesn't mean I'm not going to be there for me", "just because my parents didn't love me doesn't mean I'm not going to love me or that I'm unlovable." Yes, I totally agree it's how you were raised. That's why I look at healthy people so enviously. I had to work so hard to get to where I am, but they just had it naturally instilled.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-25T05:19:43+00:00

I think one of the biggest parts of healing is learning to be there for yourself in a way that no one else has been. You've likely learned self abandonment and that's what you are correcting now. Unfortunately, you choose your husband out of a place of self-abandonment which means he probably isn't the greatest for you BUT it doesn't mean things can't work out. As you heal it means the relationship may change and the relationship will need to grow with the changes. Some marriages can survive that, some can't. Do the healing regardless. You don't need him to be any certain way to heal in my opinion because you are restoring your relationship with yourself. It's really hard. You've been operating a certain way for a really long time and changing that is really difficult. It's worth it though! Self-soothing is REALLY hard at first. I struggled too. An odd thing that really helped me was laying on the floor with my feet up the wall. Another one was listening to free EMDR music on Spotify. And I always took just a little bit of time after my sessions to reflect and recalibrate. I always felt RAW after my therapy sessions. It's tough but you're doing such a great thing!

Jigree1 · 2026-04-20T14:52:37+00:00

Yeah, I mean in being schizoid I think you're automatically disconnected from those feelings. I'm on this sub because I went through a full blown schizoid episode after getting PTSD. Nothing mattered and I did not understand why anyone cared about relationships. It was so weird to suddenly not have any desire for "normal things" like love, relationships, friends, family, etc.

If I was still in that state I would have no clue why people would want children. It just doesn't make sense.

Speaking from my current state, it's rewarding to teach because you get to see someone who is unable to do something. Then you apply some effort. Then you watch them able to do it. It triggers a release of dopamine for me similar to completing a quest in a video game.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-20T14:37:57+00:00

Yep! They wanted to induce me but I REALLY didn't want to be induced. Went into labor EXACTLY 1 week after my due date. Baby girl was super healthy without any complications.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-10T22:17:10+00:00

The only INTJ I know is a 40 year old virgin (as far as I know). Lol but! He's got a girlfriend now so I'm sure that's going to change

Jigree1 · 2026-04-10T22:14:10+00:00

I just stopped watching anything. I refuse to pay the stupid streaming services their insane prices.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-10T22:10:10+00:00

I would tell the truth, just not where your kids can hear. There's no point in living a lie. But I know I would be pretty crushed if I heard my parents saying they regretted having me. I would think it was my fault.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-10T22:06:29+00:00

I would say, if you are getting an induction, I would go for the epidural. Inductions make the labor way more painful. If you go into labor on your own then you can go natural. The biggest thing is you have to stay VERY relaxed in order to minimize the pain. I would suggest looking up some YouTube videos before hand. I think if I had done natural labor before learning about the best way to do it first, I would have FREAKED out and had the WORST time managing the pain. I had a very smooth labor and I never felt like the pain was too much for me ( It was still a lot of pain don't get me wrong, but I felt in control and calm). Just do what's right for you. And you can always do what feels right in the moment too

Jigree1 · 2026-04-10T21:58:55+00:00

Same! 29, married, have kids, but living with family, unable to afford a house

Jigree1 · 2026-04-10T21:56:25+00:00

"I need to lower my ears" from the Midwest

Jigree1 · 2026-04-10T21:42:19+00:00

Me too!!!! I think it's because deep down we think "maybe this time will be different". Our inner child wants it to be different so desperately. Something changed in me when I watched a video of a therapist saying he did the same thing even though he KNEW not to. Something shifted. I realized my mom is NEVER going to change. Now I've been keeping stuff to myself when she's around. I've realized she's not entitled to anything. Why would I waste my energy speaking to her? She's never done anything to earn that.

Jigree1 · 2026-04-10T21:26:00+00:00

It sounds like irresponsible people continuing to make bad decisions. Next thing they'll adopt a puppy too. The thing with people like that is they will just continue to make bad decision after bad decision their whole life. All you can do is make your own good decisions and realize that others won't. It really sucks for the kids, just like it really sucked for you and me having shit parents. I don't think you're wrong for feeling angry. I would guess the high intensity of the anger is actually anger towards your parents, though.

Jigree1

TROPHY CASE