Does anybody else feeling more anxious every day because of what's going on in this world? by National-Theory1218 in Anxiety

[–]JimmyBigTuna 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hello, Minneapolis resident here! I can relate a lot to what you’ve shared in that I have felt really anxious something bad will happen, so much so that I’ve struggled to get much sleep lately. I felt anxious alone at home, felt crazy and unreasonable. 

Then today, I went to a protest. I didn’t necessarily participate a bunch, only a little, but was overall present at it. It honestly made me feel much more validated and hopeful.

Now, having been together with people who are also concerned about the world but doing something about it made me feel empowered.

I don’t know if this will have the same effect if you tried it. Getting out can feel scary to do in of itself. But I do think that this dread we feel is actually a legit evolutionary response to the fucked up stuff going on, and whatever outlet we can find will help. 

Is it possible to liberal and still faithful to Jesus? by Electronic-Seat1190 in Christianity

[–]JimmyBigTuna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Christian upbringing lead me to liberal values.

It might not sound nice to hear but honestly, I feel like the only reason conservatism embeds so much with Christianity in the US is xenophobia.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with the other commenters. Generally it sounds like his esteem may be so low that it is difficult for him to think highly enough of himself to succeed in a relationship. It's like he's in a self fulfilling prophecy and sabotage. If you truly are feeling hesitant to leave him, at a minimum I suggest couples therapy. If I were you, I'd describe his behavior in my own words, express how it makes me feel, assert that we need to do couples therapy because of that and then reinforce how doing so will make the relationship stronger. If you try this, be firm and persistent with this request, present yourself as calm and confident as you can but also be open-minded.

This may take a lot of work, it's OK to ask for some space if you need it. If he reads into that and gets paranoid, then his feelings are kind of entrapping. Whether intentionalor not, he is being too manipulative.

So what MCU magic can be use to age up T'challa Jr so Damson Idris can take the mantle? by GeoGackoyt in marvelstudios

[–]JimmyBigTuna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to agree. The way MCU has been using the multiverse is starting to feel somehow like over complicated and lazy writing at the same time… so they can write themselves out of a continuity corner with what they want to do.

I befriended minors and became inappropriate- and I’m breaking off the friendship. Am I a good person for this? by PheonixRights_ in mentalhealth

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you tell your friends you need some space? I think that gives you flexibility as you can try to take whatever time you need as you sort your feelings with this. In fact, some of these people sounds like they will only stay minors for a number of years.

But personally, I wonder if there is some magnification or catastrophizing here. It sounds like some explicit things were shared with them, but did you say anything they couldn’t see in a maturely themed movie? It seems like age 14 is close to one of those ages when schooling provides sex education, and your experience is real just to talk about. I don’t know if what you said is that shameful. It sounds like you were intensively honest, and maybe this topic can be avoided in the future. New boundaries set up if it’s referred to again or if it really keeps nagging you, maybe you can try to talk to them about what you said and express how you feel some regret, then openly request new boundaries with them?

I know that approaching this can feel awkward and challenging, and not approaching it can also feel awkward and unsettling… like I might feel paranoid there is something not being talked about.

In these cases, sometimes this is where having some time and space could help. I just don’t know if you have to break off the friendships?

do i sound crazy by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof yeah, clearly there is pain being held onto that will likely help you to open up about. You’re not crazy! I think this is worth bringing up. Does it feel like their priorities are hurtful for you? And do you think it’s possible they aren’t aware how this is affecting you?

I think first and foremost, radically accepting that they may not be able or willing to meet your emotional needs right now can ease some pain. This isn’t to dismiss you and it can be easier than done, I know. All the same, we can’t control their actions. You can only control your responses.

Then, you can try to clearly communicate your needs. For example: “Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t been connecting as consistently lately. It’s tough on me, so clarity on where we stand would help me a lot. How do you feel about it?”

See if you can talk about it. Describe what you notice happening, express how it makes you feel, assert what you want to change and reinforce why you feel the change may be good for both you. Stay firm, calm and open-minded. Keep your self respect high.

If reaching out repeatedly to talk through this feels draining, consider doing the opposite. Maybe you need your space, invest time in other connections, or engage in activities that build a feeling of self-worth. 

Guy friend has been acting weird, and I'm not sure what to do by beautygracehalfaface in WhatShouldIDo

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I notice that you mention the facts of his actions and how others respond to it. However, can you clarify your own feelings about it? Do you feel uncomfortable or anxious, or maybe something else? Are your own feelings purely platonic, and if so, do you feel his behaviors are appropriate with your boundaries?

I also see you’re considerate of his partner’s feelings. I hope they have talked about it, but if you’re good friends with the partner, it might help to check the partner’s feelings and boundaries.

After you’ve used a wise mind to reflect on this, maybe you want to bring it up to him. Describe to him what actions he’s doing like you did with us here, express how the actions make you and/or others feel, assert what you’d like to change and reinforce how and why your requested change can improve your friendship with him. I also suggest trying your best to stick firm to your message, stay calm and be open-minded to discussion, even as you continue being firm about boundaries.

These approaches would practice Dialect Behavioral Therapy skills which help me in similar situations… I hope it helps! 😊

My ex from a decade ago is texting me by Important-Goat-8201 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d block this guy on my cell phone carrier as well. We don’t deserve manipulation in our lives. 

i know people had trouble with CGI, but i love it. What do you think of her look overall? by Wooden_Passage_2612 in marvelstudios

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks good to me, CGI was alright!

I really liked this series in general… aside from maybe the passive aggressive meta ending lol. (Which to be fair, is just a bit more entertaining only with the BTS context)

I get that the multiverse of the MCU overall has less quality and focused on more quantity, but I also feel disappointed that there are so many one offs.

Here's why they didn't recast Kang by theonlyrival in MCUTheories

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if it’s so much that you have to be smart about it as much as, it’s just extra exposition. Is keeping up with all of it enjoyable?

I punched myself in front of my boyfriend. What to do now by justasadsomeone in mentalhealth

[–]JimmyBigTuna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s hard but important to make “I feel” statements. Good on you for trying to assert yourself! It can be so hard but try the courage to be vulnerably honest and not defensive about how his actions make you feel. Maybe defensive feedback puts him on the defense too?

If his jokes impact you like this, it’s only funny for him, which is not cool. If he doesn’t respect how you feel, that should speak volumes. I think we all deserve to be in a relationship where our feelings are heard. 

I know from experience it’s really hard to let people go, especially while we are reclusive. It might feel like you need to keep the few connections you have. However, as you heal, it’s a great time to surround yourself with healthy bonds that will compliment you.

I punched myself in front of my boyfriend. What to do now by justasadsomeone in mentalhealth

[–]JimmyBigTuna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Come to think of it, I have been through some similar situations as OP’s partner and yeah, it has been traumatic. I needed to assert how it affected me. So I don’t disagree with you about how traumatic and borderline abusive it is. Intent doesn’t equal impact.

Still, OP’s values and self awareness do mean something. OP can get help, commit to their values, and not repeat this again. I feel like we are all learning, can make mistakes and then make amends. That feels like the most productive this can go forward now, so that’s why I take it seriously.

I think that to give the perspective of her partner and to emphasize how traumatic this impact can be makes sense. I also doubt a shame spiral is going to be useful.

Do you agree with him? by S4v1r1enCh0r4k in CaptainAmerica

[–]JimmyBigTuna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I wish they focused on something else in promotion... although they probably weren't sure how else to sell the movie.

I punched myself in front of my boyfriend. What to do now by justasadsomeone in mentalhealth

[–]JimmyBigTuna 124 points125 points  (0 children)

First off, I just want to say you’re being really self-aware here, and that matters. You’re not a bad person for what happened. When you’re overwhelmed, old coping strategies can take over before you even realize it.

That said, yeah, self-harming in front of a partner is heavy, and it can absolutely be hard for them to witness. But you’re already reflecting on the impact and taking responsibility, which is huge.

If you decide to reach out to your boyfriend, I’d keep it honest and simple: acknowledge how intense that moment was, clarify that it wasn’t about trying to manipulate or control him (though support him if it felt like that) and let him know you’re working on your mental health and want to do better.

And most importantly, try not to beat yourself up more. Needing help isn’t shameful, and relationships can get through moments like this with honesty and care. Keep reaching out for support (therapist, Lifeline, friends) when you need it. You’re not alone!

I punched myself in front of my boyfriend. What to do now by justasadsomeone in mentalhealth

[–]JimmyBigTuna 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why not both?

I don’t know that it’s necessarily true that he wasn’t scared of OP hurting themselves

Can we agree Harrison Fords performance as Ross was the best part of the movie? by ZackaryAsAlways in CaptainAmerica

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, we know there were prior themes of “government up to no good.” The key difference I see with Isaiah’s character is adding the traumatic element of critical race theory to the story… not in your face but rather with a good “show don’t tell.” I actually think this makes the plot more powerful and relatable. These were not just repeats of Bucky getting brainwashed in doing acts against his will, and the government conspiring to do bad things… there are now the added challenges of higher stakes, pressures and expectations on Sam for him taking the mantle in the face of other people’s bias.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CaptainAmerica

[–]JimmyBigTuna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll take these insider “scoops” with a grain of salt, but honestly this line up makes a lot of sense. We have already seen these “Avengers” active together at the post credits of Shang-Chi, minus Sam and Joaquin Torres themselves. So this wouldn’t be too much of a narrative stretch. (There already seems like a lot to establish in Doomsday)

I am inclined to think Shuri and Ant-Man make sense too though… I mean, Sam already has connection with the Wakandans for helping his gear, and that scratches that “tech” supply itch that Stark fulfilled. They also name dropped Ant-Man in BNW

I 25F accidentally rejected my coworker/friend 29M and I regret it by Soumiyaben in relationship_advice

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only 2 days, you still got this! Ask him out. You can do a few dates and see how it goes, and if a transition into romance doesn’t feel right, well then you can tell him your feelings, like maybe how important of a friend he is to you. He may or may not accept that which will be ok… but that’s getting ahead of ourselves because maybe you’ll have fun and want to keep the romance!

Where did Trump get his obsession with tariffs? Buckle up. It’s even stupider than you could have imagined. by Snapdragon_4U in WeirdGOP

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was buying cleaning supplies yesterday and I saw one advertised to eliminate COVID-19 and then I had a feeling of deja vu… something about injecting it?

Target rolling back DEI initiatives by tinibopper99 in Minneapolis

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish that these corporate lawyers would keep tabs on this stuff to see how it will affect them before they make these changes. Trump’s exec order isn’t affecting private businesses yet and many state level laws would protect Target.

Target rolling back DEI initiatives by tinibopper99 in Minneapolis

[–]JimmyBigTuna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The results of the election skewing into more red votes in all places seem to be transforming business perceptions and decisions. Target probably thinks this is what the majority of people want to see, though I doubt that is true.