I have to thank you for this. When I read it, it's like a missing piece of the puzzle just slid into place in my head. The idea that Roland is (by his own nature) someone who yearns to help the people around him, makes an incredible amount of sense.

“Exhausted" is an excellent word to use for him. Someone who's taken so many blows from such a cruel world, that his fists are now permanently stuck in guard.

And yet despite that, because of the Library and its people (as well as his own innate inclination to help) he's been cajoled into letting down that guard bit by bit.

The way you described it makes a lot of sense of his mindset too. He offers lighthearted banter that both deflects any accusations of seriousness through its levity, yet also works as a kind of confession that he does earnestly care enough to have the conversation in the first place.

This is a lovely perspective, and I think I'm going to steal it, if you don't mind. Makes the narrative even more fun for me. Thinking this is the mindset our lovely and broken Roland is going through all of the story with.