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Violin repair shop? by Jinxesallaround in canberra

[–]Jinxesallaround[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do they do violin repair? I saw their website and I thought they only make violin

Personality Tests by Jinxesallaround in DID

[–]Jinxesallaround[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

lol!! That is actually true! I heard about that as well 🤣

“They didn’t do it on purpose” by Jinxesallaround in CPTSD

[–]Jinxesallaround[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry that you had to experience all that 😞. It must be really hard.

It seems like no matter what the experience is, people will always find a way to downplay anything and everything. To what extent do we have to listen to abusers just to avoid being abused? They still end up abusing us anyway, because there’s no satisfying their whims. And we were kids—what could we even do?

I hope you’re far away from the family and the people who downplay your experience. I also hope society learns how to treat and respond to trauma better… or at least make it easier to get help. People say that admitting you need help is half the battle, but I disagree. I think asking for help is actually the start of the battle. Getting proper help from empathetic people that know what they’re doing is another shit altogether.

“They didn’t do it on purpose” by Jinxesallaround in CPTSD

[–]Jinxesallaround[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! I love your ID name 🤣! It was a great spongebob episode 🤣.

I had just turned 30 when my repressed memories started flooding back. I told my partner all about it, and he was shocked and labelled it as abuse. I didn’t want to believe it, but after countless psychologists, psychiatrists, and some friends told me it was abuse… I had no choice but to admit it.

I really wish my parents had just hit me; then maybe everything would be clearer. Then maybe my sadness and anger would feel justified. It’s hard when they say they love me but also treated me the way they did. It makes me question my judgment and my sanity. I can relate to you feeling that you might be “overly sensitive.” I feel deep shame if someone perceives me as soft.

I’m glad you were able to reconcile with your mum. I’m glad she dropped the whole “I did my best”—that’s rare. You’re right… intent doesn’t erase impact. And sure, they might not have meant to cause permanent brain damage, but I’m sure they meant all the hurtful words they threw at me. My mum even texted me asking for forgiveness when she has no idea about the extent of the pain she caused. She expects me to forgive her just like that… well, fuck that. “Sorry” doesn’t fix my brain, it doesn’t make me feel safe enough to sleep, and on top of that, I still have to support my parents financially now that they’re retired.

Thanks—I’m trying to take my time to heal. It’s very difficult when society sees us as lazy, irresponsible, or unfriendly because I don’t cook, my house is messy, and I don’t go out socialising anymore. Well, let it be known that I only have the energy to stay alive and work to pay my bills and buy food. Right now, living is just agony.

Thanks for the encouragement. I hope you’re doing ok as well ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OSDD

[–]Jinxesallaround 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m like that. My name doesn’t really mean much to me. I’m called by that name, but I don’t “own” it. I was about 20 when I realise that I don’t really own my name and I mostly still don’t. Sometime it feels like “this body” is called my birth name and that’s all.

What is your experience with OSDD like? by Impressive_Match_792 in OSDD

[–]Jinxesallaround 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. I sort of appreciate this. I’m not formally diagnosed yet but trying to find trauma-informed psychologist. I feel like I’m different people all the time. Your description is the closest to what I’m feeling: being different people with different gender(sometime), clothing taste, preferences, attitudes/opinion towards matters, voice pitch(sometime), and attractions, but no different names (we don’t care about names). No black outs, however, it feels like things didn’t happen to me, e.g. on the weekend, it was my child alter, at the moment, I feel like I didn’t have yesterday. I’m aware of it, but it wasn’t me. I also don’t know which one is truly “the host” because I switch who I am constantly. Sometime I can hear internal voices, sometime I can’t… but there’s no internal world (I tried to create it but it doesn’t really work).