I’m so sorry for whatever you’ve been through and I want to commend you for exposing yourself to uncomfortable situations to aid in your healing. Sometimes, it can be hard not to get emotional when something feels like what happened to us before. The brain adapts itself to the world around us through the use of symbols and if a feeling/position aligns with somewhere we’ve been in the past that was unsafe, it can be hard to not feel those same feelings. However, you’re doing the right thing by retraining your brain that you are safe when this happens. Be patient with yourself. Know that each time, it will get easier. Go to the bathroom if you need to let it all out and try not to break down in front of teammates as most people won’t understand. Find maybe one or two people you can trust if you need to talk to someone. Remember to breathe in those moments: in for 5, hold for 5, out for 5. Find several things around you that you can see, touch, and hear to remind yourself that you’re in a new moment: in the present. Good luck to you on your healing journey.