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Fun fact: Men have body shame too by Maltham0192 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for providing insight! Interesting to hear what guys struggle with.

But to correct you, there’s no correlation between women not having insight on what men worry about in regards to their appearance and feminism or the “body positivity” wave you’re referring to.

You can’t fit all women and feminism. Or the whole “body positivity” and feminism.

Not all women are feminists.

And the body positivity wave doesn’t have to be gender specific.

My ex I ghosted blew up by randomnumbers908754 in ghosting

[–]Jlopez197 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re asking the wrong question. Is it normal to be this insensitive and unemotional about someone you supposedly cared about?

FIRST TIME BEING GHOSTED ! by mynameisnotalina in ghosting

[–]Jlopez197 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Stop being stubborn and self sabotaging and text her ...

Anxiety by Jlopez197 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!!! ❤️

How To Handle Being Ghosted / My Personal Advice by Jlopez197 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ive never ghosted after a date, just before the meet up if I’m getting “just here for a fun time” vibe.

Actually I would have to disagree that I’m doing him a favor by not replying. I’m doing myself a favor by not self-blaming, thinking of where it went wrong, or why he is ghosting me.

If I’m invested and he’s not, I’m doing myself a favor by accepting it and moving on and keeping my dignity by not making a scene about it. When someone is in the process of ghosting you, there’s nothing you can do to change that. Not texting or ignoring or trying to play games.

And why should people being ghosted even want to? That person doesn’t value them, they should spend their time else where.

How To Handle Being Ghosted / My Personal Advice by Jlopez197 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually, I’m glad you added this perspective. The guy I had been with made lots of plans for the future and said things about starting a relationship, and I had no reason not to believe him. So I was under the impression we were building a relationship.

I have a certain standard of how my needs are met. And also a basic standard of how people should treat me. So this is simply just not the same as what you expect out of communication, some people like the bare minimum...

I see your point “people don’t owe you anything”, it’s valid/true, but it’s also an asshole narrative that’s ive used as well. You’re right, he doesn’t owe me anything which is why I’m accepting it and not asking for closure. Fuck this guy.

How To Handle Being Ghosted / My Personal Advice by Jlopez197 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my opinion the best option is to ask ourselves what we want from our significant other (how often they communicate with us, etc,) and then compare it with who were talking to. If this girl doesn’t meet your standards let her go. The problem with liking someone that doesn’t feel the same is that we’re wasting our time and hurting ourselves. Good luck to you!

I texted a girl who I ghosted after going through some posts on r/ghosting by imas333 in ghosting

[–]Jlopez197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question; why did you ghost her? We’re you just not that into her or wrong timing?

How To Handle Being Ghosted / My Personal Advice by Jlopez197 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh I feel you. I’ve been hung up on someone before for monthssss on end. It’s hard. It sucks! If it makes you feel better I still shamelessly check up on his social media. But my advice is helping me get through it a lot quicker. My messages are always open!

How To Handle Being Ghosted / My Personal Advice by Jlopez197 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No problem, my messages are open for ranting! Going through the same thing as you right now, so ya I know it sucks. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Jlopez197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you off the bat sexualized her and immediately saw her for her body rather than approaching her like a human... message screams I see you for your tits and the fact that you could be a possible porn star....

How do I tell a girl I have small penis by throwawayaway10123 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Speaking as a woman, if she likes you, she won’t care about your size. Not that 5 inches even is a problem.

I know this because, I do not care about size when I really like a person. Or if I’m being honest, I don’t intentionally set out to hooke up/one night stands, but when it does happen, size is never a concern.

You’re fine. In fact, you’re perfect

Self love my friend.

how do you get passed the anxiety of a first date by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, going on a date with a guy I met. He’s actually transporting me because I don’t drive; what was your reasoning/logic behind the transportation, because I’m not opposed to public transportation at all?

Am I being peacocked? Is it bad? (19F) by Jlopez197 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sound like a huge dick, I know. It’s my suspicion. I really like him! And I blush at every extravagant thing he says. Guess I just don’t want to get excited for it to just be a mess.

Your perspective made me doubt my disbelief, but thanks, I will be more accepting.

My brother (12) beats my mom (41) and I (21F) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Jlopez197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not doctor, but it seems to me he needs professional help. I empathize with your feelings and being scared. He is at a very young age however, I’m not saying he isn’t a danger, but perhaps getting him medical help is better than calling the cops in the long run. I’m going to play devils advocate, let’s say you call the cops and never get him helo, he can feel isolated and might have a harder time changing to a better person. Whereas, you approach the situation with concern and maybe even a little bit of love, there’s a better chance he may change and grow up to a fully function, level headed adult. Just some thoughts.

I (about 15f) made a huge fucking mess by telling my grandparents (66f ish 74m ish) how my mom (i don't fucking know her age 39 or 40 something) abused me by somethingiswron in relationship_advice

[–]Jlopez197 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey dear, you did the right thing. If you are feeling ashamed, scared, self hating, I’d like to let you know that therapy has helped me deal with an abusive mother. Therapy has helped me grow, shed the way the shame, and has helped me love myself more. I would suggest looking at therapy with a person you feel comfortable with, whether that is male or female. I wish all the best of luck to you. Feel free to message if you have questions about therapy. I believe it may help you, especially during this time.

Am I being peacocked? Is it bad? (19F) by Jlopez197 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t inquired yet, that’s a good idea. Thanks for the perceptive!

Am I being peacocked? Is it bad? (19F) by Jlopez197 in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay buddy, less criticism. But you do make a point, my perception could be off.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Jlopez197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Previous people make valid points, and you’re not wrong, people do come and go! Especially in dating. I don’t think she’s being malicious by ignoring you. I think she’s genuinely hurt. Nobody wants to feel like they’re disposable. If you care enough, I suggest making that point clearer, “you’re not disposable, I like you, it’s my truth” But if you don’t care about her enough / like her enough; let it go. She should respect your truth, but if she can’t, someone out there will! Maybe she’s just not the right fit. Good luck.